"If you don't profit from it, someone else will, so you might as well get yours."
Don't even get me started on how toxic and self-centered this is...
"Get a job doing something you live doing." Only if you want to learn to hate something you loved. Doing anything as work builds resentment, you're better off finding something you can tolerate. Save the stuff you love for hobbies or as a last resort your own business, not working for anyone else.
the secret to "doing what you love" for work is to have a solid passive income stream established beforehand. this takes alot of the stress of failure/eaking out maximum profit out of the equation.
once you make more $ than you really need to spend, you can work as little/many hours at whatever type of job you want.
rich people are rich because somewhere down the line their parents bought/passed down dividend paying stock (or they got lucky themselves/soldout a startup for some etc.). once you bring in 6 figs in passive income you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want as long as you don't try to keep appearances with the super-rich.
that is what all those "i weave baskets and my partner rehabilitates wild dolphins for a living, watch us shop for a 2-3 million $ house"-shows quietly never touch on.
For me I think growing up constantly told “you’re so smart, you’ll figure it all out” was more detrimental than helpful. It led me to believe I’d cruise through life pretty easily. I’m happy with where life’s taken me and the point I’m at now but I could’ve gotten there a lot faster if I would’ve applied myself more. Just because a kid is into computers doesn’t mean they’ll be some sort of genius.
I can't stand this one. Like, yes, I can figure out a lot of things for myself. But if I'm asking someone for help, it's because my own resourcefulness has reached its limit and in this situation, I need assistance from others. That is, if I could figure out a solution on my own, I would've done so. The whole point of bringing up the issue was an attempt to get help for it.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Your silence in the face of injustice is what enables abuse.
Yes! All that civility and decorum training. I'll add to yours "Don't speak ill of the dead."
Stops people from learning about intergenerational trauma and fascists/terrorists in the family. Sure, my grandad was wildly abusive to his daughters and disgustingly racist about black people in Nova Scotia, Canada (the ones in Jamaica are fine btw). But he's dead now so "we don't talk about that." Totes cool to mention his army medals tho.
Yeah and now people cant handle a reality check, and I'm the asshole for giving one rather than reflecting on what they did wrong
"Blood is thicker than water" meaning family is more important than chosen relationships.
And before any smartypants claims it used to mean something else, there is no evidence of that.
its such dumb phrase too. "blood is thicker than water" well no way, it is?! And why is water representing the chosen relationships here and why is the thickness the implied positive thing here? You know what is thicker than blood? Porridge. No idea what that implies though. If you need someone to explain the meaning of saying to get it, then its not very good saying imo.
It's rude to discuss your salary at work
That's just what your employer wants you to think so you don't know who's getting paid unfairly.
Yeah I agree, it's utter BS. Just like your engagement ring is supposed to be 2 months salary, it was 2 weeks 30 years ago. Debeirs just makes the shit up.
"Don't care what other people think about you"
Sounds like permission to be an asshole.
I understand what it's trying to say, but assholes don't mind borrowing the mantra.
I get what you're trying to share, which makes a lot of sense, but now reframe it in a different context (just an hypothesis, obviously not an affirmation) : you live surrounded by assholes (say, racists ones), should you mind what they think about you (not being a racist)?
if you care what people think about you, you become a masked compliant normie
"She's your mother! Show some respect" <- friends and family after every toxic, manipulative, narcissistic thing that woman did. The eternal free pass.
Money buys stability, not happiness. The second you get savings you start worrying about it. The more money you get the bigger prick you seemingly become. It's like the second you can afford a BMW the switch flips to being a public asshole. Get the high score and you get to be an absolutely miserable billionaire. Show me a truly happy billionaire whose jollies don't come from hurting everyone around them.
No.. it buys me all types of happiness.
I always say money doesn't buy happiness, but it is a prerequisite. Starving homeless people don't have a lot of opportunity to seek whatever makes them happy.
Good things come to those who wait.
You can be anything you want.
The man who stands atop a hill with his mouth open will wait a long time for a roast duck to fly in
"Be yourself" in regards to dating.
I don't know about most people, but I was an absolute asshat in my twenties.
If I had to rephrase that for myself, it would be to read a bunch of books, work out, and learn to be more socially acceptable so people can tolerate my stupid ass and actually want to date me.
(fyi that was like two decades ago and I'm happily married with two kids. )
I'd rephrase it to "be your best self" ... you know that you can take better care of your appearance, ask attentive questions, chew with your mouth closed, etc.
It's a question of effort.
To me it means be genuine vs being fake. Acting like someone you aren't to get a partner only results in having a partner that you don't have a real connection with, and who values you for qualities you don't actually have.
This is a double edged sword. You shouldn't put a ton of effort into your dating self if you're not prepared to keep that up for the rest of your life, otherwise you're just screwing your spouse. I'm so so glad I put very little effort into masking/ lying about who I am when I dated my spouse. I was just honest. I hate cooking. I'm hard to get ahold of/ don't answer messages quickly. I don't want to own a dog. Now that we're 7 years in, I don't have to let him down by saying a dog is too much housekeeping for me. I told him that on date 2. He on the other hand definitely presented his best foot, which was disappointing 5 years in when he could no longer keep it up. He's messy, he apparently really wants a dog, and he also hates cooking, none of which i knew until long after we married.
Dress warmly or you will catch a cold.
And
Respect your elders.
Peeing on a jellyfish sting. It doesn't do anything, except maybe humiliate a person who's already in pain.
That's my kink.
"Buy experiences, not things"
The rationale isn't exactly wrong for the comparison, but it smuggles in an underlying assumption that it's reasonable and normal to be spending all your available money in an effort to be happy. Money is way more useful for reinforcing your continued survival and freedom than for anything else and the idea that it's good for regulating your emotions beyond that is a deception geared towards keeping consumer spending up.
"If you didn't hear back about the application, reach out to the company/recruiter/interviewer." - they're either not into you or swamped trying to get things lined up to move forward or both. Either way they don't want to hear from you because you're not getting it or they are working on it. Just pretend you didn't get it and move on.
"Personalize your cover letter for each job application." - no one has read that shit in years--and that was before AI slop started doing them all for people---and good companies don't ask for them anymore as it's cruel to waste applicants time on them.
"Ask for what you're worth in the interview/during a promotion/counteroffer!" - this one comes with an asterix as it's not always terrible advice, but well-run orgs gave a budget for your role, know what the job generally pays for the skills it requires and can't go much outside of it at all or they'll create pay equity issues which is against the law in most states if not federally, depending. I say all that and close by saying most companies aren't well run, so they're just trying to save money, but some are actually working withing a good system so don't take it personally if they don't or can't offer you more.
If you worry about being a narcissist, you are not one. A narcissist would never introspect like that or care.
False. If you suspect narcissistic personality disorder, it is completely valid and you probably need to research the vulnerable side of it or the covert side of it.
Grandiose is the one with an inflated-ego, the famous one, and the DSM-5 describes mostly the grandiose narcissist. Vulnerable is the one where you feel like a misunderstood outcast or a victim of others, maybe even like a "stupid piece of shit" (quoting Bojack Horseman) that possibly deserved your hardships in life.
People with NPD or NPD traits can oscillate between different levels of these two presentations throughout their lives.
Overt is when you show that in 'public' (either grandiose or vulnerable). Covert is when nobody knows or can confirm you feel this way (either grandiose or vulnerable), it's more of a secret.
In recent years, I've met people with undiagnosed NPD later confirmed and a person with diagnosed BPD with not enough narcissistic traits for a diagnosis, but some important ones there. That's only to exemplify that it is not uncommon. I'm glad they were curious and open.
It's crazy to think that a whole diagnostic category and clinical spectrum is in the shadows because of that myth: "you wouldn't be thinking about it". Of course you would, person receiving that "advice", you are not an idiot and I'm sure you are noticing something about yourself. You deserve to know if it's NPD or some other thing, and to get help and to feel better about your life.
"Slam your weenie in a kitchen drawer for fun."
Don't know how many times I've heard it through the years. It's actually not very fun at all, though.
Old & busted: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
New hotness: do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
"Just rub some dirt in it, you'll be fine"
Ah yes, introduce who knows what kind of bacteria, possible fecal matter and foreign material into an open wound and be surprised when it gets infected.
I'll admit, I did this as a kid many times but that doesn't mean it's a good idea
I've never heard that as advice, where is it common?
Must be a place with lots of infections happening!
Use AI.
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