When I was younger — must be close to 40 years ago now — a couple that were close family friends died in a house fire. They were alcoholics. They were terrible examples for a young person and offered dubious life pro-tips. He taught me to drive. They both had a passion for life that I don't know if I've seen before or since. We hung out with them pretty often.

One of them woke up one morning, lit a cigarette, and passed back out. The place burned to the ground. I miss them to this day and wonder how things might've gone differently had that not happened. I didn't cry. I was emotionally numb. I didn't know how to feel.

For me, there was no moment of catharsis. Not at the funeral or when they were buried. Not driving past the house. There is just a hole. And memories. So many memories, and somehow still vivid in ways that other memories aren't. Sailing. Camping. Cooking. His stories of growing up in England. Her love of horses. They named their sailboat Dulcinea after the character in Don Quixote. She was ugly, but Don thought she was beautiful. Their boat was not ugly, but they had a great sense of humor.

I was never able to pack that stuff away in a memory to be opened only on special occasions. They are still present with me now in a lot of ways. Things trigger memories of them all the time. I love that I had the opportunity to know them. I wish I could have known them longer, but my memories of them are all happy. Many of them are hilarious.

We were at a fish ladder once, where fishing is prohibited, and ran into a guy who was fishing there. Rich grabbed the pole right out of his hand and threw it into the river. Fucking legend.

I wish I had actual advice for you. The person who linked to the waves post on Reddit probably has it right — that's some great advice. I can only say you aren't alone, and 40 years later I'm still not entirely sure how to process their absence, but I'm used to it. I miss them just like I miss everything about that time of my life. And I still see them everywhere when I look around. Every time I pass a lake with a sailboat. Every time I try to drive a stick shift. Every time I play euchre.

Your relative will probably always be with you. Enjoy their presence every time you remember them. Time will see to the rest.

Be well, friend.

I certainly have the means and the vacation days. But work is really hard to get away from for long. I've been (mostly) unplugged since Wednesday and it's been amazing. Friday was a legit vacation day and I spent it driving half way back home from a trip to Orlando. I'm about to roll out of bed and plug everything in and be back at it again.

I was hired about three months ago because my boss is stretched too thin, but I'm still learning everything so for the time being we are both stretched too thin. Eventually, hopefully we will enable each other to take vacations. I have one scheduled for April regardless. I think we're going to Mexico, but frankly where we go isn't as important to me as beautiful surroundings, good food, and leaving the kids at home.

We are the place that unironically tells people to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." I'd prefer folks not waste their energy on losing strategies.

Not really. What we had was one party imploding and taking a couple of different shapes before the new political balance was established. Absent self-immolation due to a division over slavery, there has never been a viable third party.

I was here when Ross Perot captured 20% of the electorate. And he didn't get a single electoral vote and his party was gone two cycles later. That is the path of every single third party, except they will never again have it as easy as Perot.

Then the country will not be saved because there is no such thing given the mathematical realities of our electoral system.

You don't need dryer vents. You do need two water hookups but you can just add some Y connectors. Also they run on 120v so no electric work (probably, I don't know the actual current draw).

You do have to clean the lint traps every single time.

I understand you've done your research and know what you want. Posted mostly for other readers I guess.

Yeah they are holding off for the right case because they don't want to issue a ruling with holes or ambiguities or opinions that could be used to argue for other rights.

We bought a washer/dryer combo. It wasn't cheap, but you could put two side by side in a regular laundry room. They are nice if you have kids or if clothes get forgotten in the washer with some frequency.

I would like to have a second one but it's a luxury I can't really justify.

I don't think people get their heads blown off without some sort of investigation.

President Trump’s extraordinary efforts to save this national treasure

In the sense of "this is a nice arts center. Would be a shame if something happened to it"?

Feels like it should be easy to find a police investigation of this.

Since he will never actually be punished, I just hope he lives long enough with his wits about him to see himself reviled and stripped of any respect and power. I don't have a lot of room for hatred in my heart, but there is no awful thing that could possibly happen to him that I wouldn't celebrate. I hope he experiences pure agony before the end.

And there are people who've done far worse to me personally I don't feel that way about.