"I reject your reality and submit my own"

"The major problem—one of the major problems, for there are several—one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.

To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

I don't think it's that obscure to people of a certain age, but every time someone orders a salad, my immediate reaction is "You don't win friends with that!"

Shpadoinkle!

wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?

and to a lesser extent, 'snarf snarf'

“My shoes are too tight, and I’ve forgotten how to dance”

“The avalanche has started, it’s too late for the pebbles to vote”

Those might not be %100 right

"Oh I feel it. I feel the cosmos!"

I don't know why that quote in particular is one I quote but its still funny to me.

Nothing comes to mind right now, but cool idea!

"I do[believe in ghosts]. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves. You know?"

"Sorry I smell like piss. You know how it is."

!One of many quotable lines from Death to Smoochy, a.k.a. Robin Williams' most underrated movies.!<

But time flows like a river. And history repeats.

"Philosophers do not spring up like mushrooms. They are the product of their time." And "Cacca nello spazio"

"Better later than much later"

Most of my references are from a sketch comedy troupe but my favorite of theirs is

"Whose a good baby? Presumably you are!" said to a baby. With a silly intonation. I like saying it with the weird intonation to cats. I don't have a human baby, prop or not!

Confident, Cocky, Lazy, Dead.

Anytime someone asks what I am or have been up to:

"Oh you know, just hanging out and playing nintendo".

No one I've ever met got that it was a direct movie quote.

“If you see a possum, kill it. It’s not a pet.”

"You know how I feel about conflict! I'm against it!"

"When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara."

"You made that up!"

"I did, but I stand by my made up statistic"

Is one I like using :3

"How can you do this? You make me sick."

"If you can't stand the heat, go put your tiny balls in the freezer."

"Day, night, don't mean shit."

Your insubordination has guaranteed your death, there can be no alternative.

Alternatively

Hey, space is a tough place where wimps eat flaming plasma death.