472
Biblical loophole Number 96
(i.redd.it)
Don't missionaries go to heaven as well?
No, that's where they come from. Back in the good old days they used to end up in kettles stirred by members of primitive tribes wearing chef hats. Nowadays they are probably getting composted.
Not enough of them ended up that way which is proof that the lord ain’t all that.
For the American religious Christian prudes who look down on extramarital sex and believe they have the moral authority above everyone else ... they sure spend a lot of time thinking about it, fantasizing about it, talking about it, doing it and showing it to everyone
Makes me think of the weird practice of 'Soaking' or 'Jump humping'
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soaking_(sexual_practice)
Soaking - Inserting the penis into a vagina without movement
Jump Humping - having a third person move or shake the bed while your are soaking so that the couple are not making actual sexual movements, they are just moving to the rhythm of the bed
.... yeah, God is such an idiot that anyone can easily circumvent the rules
.... yeah, God is such an idiot that anyone can easily circumvent the rules
God: "don't carry stuff around on Saturdays"
Humanity: "That's inconvenient, here's a bunch of imaginary doorframes so I'm technically not leaving my house."
thousand of years of rules lawyering noises
The Young Christians Yiffing Association are thrilled
I'm a theologist, and this is true.
Bit if it's consensual, isn't it a cosin?
And if you're outside in daylight, is it a tan?
your mom's a biblical loophole
Wait,
So I, a devout worshipper of my partners jingle-jangles, am automatically going to heaven because I've been making him my bitch in my throes of passion every weekend?
...thus are you also saying that there would be many like me in heaven, again, for me to make all of them my bitches???
I think I've started liking this religious thing.
this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
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