464

Trump is set to host a UFC fight on the White House lawn next year, with Dana White confirming the event as part of the US's 250th independence celebrations.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Doubleohdonut@lemmy.ca 138 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

In the closing ceremonies of USAs existence, the man who destroyed it will shine a light on himself as a hero.

Where are the epstein files, kiddy diddler?

[-] Formfiller@lemmy.world 97 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Wow this is peak white trash. Is kid rock going to sing the national anthem?

[-] RhondaSandTits@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 1 month ago

Kid Rock will be there to sing Fortunate Son

[-] cyborganism@piefed.ca 5 points 1 month ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[-] Cheems@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

Please don't give them any ideas

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 66 points 1 month ago

A true, worthy god-emperor would make it a fight to the death and compete personally.

[-] Thaurin@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yes, but also cheat by poisoning his gladiator slave opponent before the match.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] rayyy@piefed.social 58 points 1 month ago

The nonfiction version of "Idiocracy" brought to you LIVE! Stay tuned for the collapse.

[-] FaceDeer@fedia.io 33 points 1 month ago

As always, I must point out that president Camacho actually cared about Americans and when presented with a problem he was too stupid to solve he sought out the advice of smarter people to make use of in solving it.

President Camacho was a way better president than Trump.

[-] knatschus@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 month ago

Then let me point out that Camacho was the president at the end of the idiocracy period.

When people point to trump and idiocracy they mean he's the start of it.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Witchfire@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago

Mountain Dew Camacho was a better president

[-] Blumpkinhead@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

God, he would be so preferable at this point.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] TwinTitans@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago

Biff Tannon everybody.

[-] TuffNutzes@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

This is what happens when Biff Tannen becomes Dear Leader.

[-] nosuchanon@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Honestly that would be an upgrade at this point.

[-] cronenthal@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 1 month ago

It is so tasteless and yet so fitting. We will have an abundance of great imagery for the history books.

[-] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago

Did anyone expect a low IQ felon rapist to have class?

This is what America looks like when people let the village idiots out-vote them.

[-] RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Jesus Christ... We're hitting peak Idiocracy so much faster than the documentary expected.

[-] DexiMachina@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

At least Camacho had a three point plan.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago
[-] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

This is the bad place

[-] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago

What better celebration is there for Trump's America than locking people in cages?

[-] dhtseany@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

President Camacho approves.

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

I hope it flops even harder than his stupid military birthday parade.

[-] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The president's limo will be there on the front lawn, up on blocks with it's wheels and hood missing. A few barrels will be interspresed with fire for warmpth.

Trump will be seated on a beaten up old lawn chair, the kind that your parents had in the 70s and never got around to replacing. To his right there's a styrofoam cooler; the kind you get at a gas station when your heading out fishing with your pa. It's filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Melania will put her hair up in a Peggy Bundy beehive and squeeze her aging ass into pair of daisy dukes and cowboy boots.

Joe Rogan appears and kneels before Trump before the match begins. But instead of kissing a ring, it's a beer tab.

The festivities begin with Kid Rock catterwalling out what he thinks is the national anthem, but is actually just a bunch of random lyrics he put together during the last time he blacked out.

Dean Cain is the "celebrity" referee for the match and Kevin Sorbo is there to provide some colour commentary alongside Rogan.

Due to the unpopularity of all of them, no one wants to volunteer to be the people in the match, so it eventually Trump sends ICE out to round up some homeless people and it quickly devolves into bumfights_dot_com

It'll be great!

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 11 points 1 month ago

I can see this now as a Street Fighter level background.

[-] Zahille7@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I hate that you bring up Dean Cain and Kevin Sorbo in the same sentence.

They're actually working on some weird-ass Christian golf comedy/drama movie together, with Dean producing and Kevin starring. My brother worked on it for about a week or so.

He only agreed to it as it was a way for him to get his foot in the door for the industry, and he was a fan of the Hercules show when he was a kid. Also Lois & Clark was apparently our grandma's favorite show, so it was like this weird amalgamation of feelings when he went to work on it.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] D_C@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago

This just oozes classiness and decorum.

Hey, americans, you should deffo not be embarrassed about this. No way, not one little bit!!!

[-] klu9@piefed.social 19 points 1 month ago

the UFC fight {...} will involve fighter weigh-ins at the Lincoln Memorial

What next? Mandingo fights on MLK's grave?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 15 points 1 month ago

Do tacky people generally know that they're tacky, or is part of tackiness being unaware?

[-] Darukhnarn@feddit.org 14 points 1 month ago
[-] renrenPDX@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Your tax dollars at work.

[-] Estiar@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 month ago

Gosh. I thought this was the onion for a second

[-] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago
[-] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago

Doge sees nothing wrong with this? They cut healthcare but they don't cut a boxing match in the white house?

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago

I suppose it is a small mercy that Hulk Hogan isn't around anymore...

[-] MyOpinion@lemmy.today 9 points 1 month ago

I am surprised they did not set up a colosseum and have migrants fight to the death. Keep it tacky MAGAts.

[-] abbiistabbii 5 points 1 month ago

Oh that was floated as a reality TV show.

[-] Ashenlux 8 points 1 month ago

So he is having two people fight in a cage on his front lawn for his amusement... That definitely doesn't sound like dictator behavior.

[-] mere 7 points 1 month ago

Saw the title and was like 'haha funny, imagine'. Then 'wait, it's not satire??'

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago

What a fucking lowlife.

[-] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

UFC and the bro crowd that watches UFC are the ones that loves trump. He knows his crowd

[-] nearhat@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago

Is this the circuses part of “bread and circuses”?

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] etherphon@midwest.social 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

How much is UFC getting for this? Another giant fucking waste of money from the GOP besides being so, so tacky. I don't want to hear one fucking word ever again about how our tax money is being wasted by any Democrat. I guess these fucking assholes would rather watch some dumb apes beat the shit out of each other than feed people, sad.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

he will find a way to turn it into his birthday event.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
464 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

18468 readers
920 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS