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Anon hires a goth chick (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 1 points 7 minutes ago

While i do agree. I also believe that there is a loneliness epidemic, male and female. People's standards are too high and unrealistic. Relationships are messy and far from perfect. You won't be madly in love 24/7 with your partner. But yeah, I belive the internet has made people withdraw from society all while portraying perfect Relationships and lives via social media

My gay friends call me a platinum star because I never fucked a woman and I'm a cesarian section.

[-] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 30 minutes ago
[-] sober_monk@lemmy.world 1 points 4 minutes ago

"Gold star" means "never had sex with the opposite gender" in LGBTQ+ slang. My man here managed to dodge the pussy at birth too, elevating him to platinum rank.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

pulls out $600 and asks for happy ending

You're not a virgin because you're bad with women. You're a virgin because you're bad with money.

[-] chocosoldier 25 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

yeah maybe hire an actual prostitute instead of assuming all women offering a service you don't understand are actually just whores

anon deserves his blue balls

[-] Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

she implied anon could've recieved that service if anon wasn't "too spiritually pure" defo a prostitute, at least as a side hustle.

(if this story was real that is, which of course it is not)

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 24 points 15 hours ago

Anon is very obviously describing a prostitute who lives somewhere where it is illegal and thus advertising with innuendo. Anon was turned down by a prostitute. Also the only one calling women whores was you.

[-] chocosoldier 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

Anon is very obviously describing a prostitute who lives somewhere where it is illegal and thus advertising with innuendo.

this is a possibility but it sounds more to me like he misunderstood a witchy tiktoker who also likes bdsm, which is VERY common in occult-y circles

Anon was turned down by a prostitute.

if she's a prostitute then no anon wasn't "turned down", anon was robbed.

Also the only one calling women whores was you.

nah but thanks for letting me know you're upset for some weird reason

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 7 points 13 hours ago
[-] chocosoldier 2 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

i hang out with a lot of freaks. my late partner was an escort, and she wouldn't take your money and then just not perform she'd just refuse your money. her shitty friend would go lock herself in the bathroom for the whole hour though, and after a while she quit getting clients.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 12 hours ago

if she's a prostitute then no anon wasn't "turned down", anon was robbed.

You lost me here. What a wild thing to say.

[-] chocosoldier 5 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

assuming she's a prostitute he paid at the beginning of the "session", and he mentions the session ends. her advertised rate is $200. she took his $200 that was implied to be for a service and anon did not recieve said service. anon was robbed. i don't understand why this is a "wild" idea.

my take was that he hired an energy healer that also posts about kink, she politely snarked at him when he tried to explicitly buy sex, and it went over his head. also as i was typing this i realized it doesn't really have to be either/or and maybe something went over my head as well.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 3 hours ago

Nothing about this post implies she's a prostitute.

[-] chocosoldier 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

well, it's p clear anon thinks she's a prostitute. this comment chain started with my observation that perhaps she isn't one, and you chimed in where i was going back and forth with someone who agrees with anon and believes she is a prostitute. why are you shooting off your mouth about people saying wIlD tHiNgS and "correcting" people when you clearly haven't bothered to understand any part of the post or the conversation?

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 27 points 17 hours ago
>get psych degree
>become disillusioned with the world and my minuscule place in it
>distaste for society rising
>decide to open a little witch shop
>even offer subtle counseling
>occasionally rip chuds out of their hate holes 
>never had a customer leave without personal growth 

>be yesterday
>laundromat fire left me with barely any clothes
>fuckthisqueerhatingearth.png
>still have customers today
>can’t cancel without incurring penalties
>fuckthisqueerhatingcreditprocessor.fat
>smell like burnt plastic
>wearing rescued sheets from head to toe
>appointments not going too bad considering the circumstances
>then arrived the mound
>a ball of unwashed hair stretching out into a protective sphere
>sebum flows and drips from my bead draped doorframe as walks in
>understand immediately that I have to do something about this
>I’ll save this one Jonny
>but I can’t get a word out of him
>he communicates only in grunts
>he's distracted for some reason
>finally give up as the hour elapses
>grasp failure for the first time
>as he leaves, he suddenly turns, whipping salty droplets onto my face
>I convulse but keep my composure
>finally hear his voice
>think we’re finally going to talk
>he extends a wad of money toward me and begs for a handy
>the straw that broke the camel’s back
>can barely squeak out an apology as I exit the room and begin crying
>I just wanted to help
[-] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 12 hours ago

👏👏👏 BRAVO 👏👏👏

[-] SonOfAntenora@lemmy.world 16 points 20 hours ago

Why is everything so depressing here

[-] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 hours ago

Is it depressing though? Tragedy is somebody's comedy, you just got to see the funny and laugh.

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 points 11 hours ago

I mean just look at the state of the planet and where humanity heading. If that does nor make you depressed then what is wrong with you?

[-] Stanley_Pain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 16 hours ago

Because the Internet was a bad idea at this point. ;)

[-] bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 12 points 21 hours ago

it's not the sex that I crave, just a physical warmth would be great

[-] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

Then get a dog

[-] Redex68@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Same. But sex would also be great

[-] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 10 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Allow me to introduce you to... the London Undeground trains! The Northern line in summer rush hour is like a bunch of penguins huddling together for warmth in a hot oven.

EDIT: I think I misunderstood what you wanted but I hope you got a chuckle out of it.

[-] bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

this is the kind of thing only an aroace could say

[-] SoleInvictus 14 points 18 hours ago

This is a really common sentiment. Humans are social apes but many cultures have severely curtailed what kind of touch is considered appropriate.

I highly recommend hanging with cats. When I was younger, I volunteered at a cat rescue. Friendly cats are almost always down to be pet and to rub their furry little faces all over you. It's hard to feel as lonely when you're hanging out with your cat buds, and the rescue cats need friends too.

[-] bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

I have 3 stray kittens hanging out around my porch. Once they get comfortable enough, I will take them to vets and from there I hope the three can stay inside

IMO the worst thing about being a virgin is that it's forbidden to have sex, at least according to your caring parents, teachers, and social context. It's more about breaking the nonsensical rules than actually about having sex, at least that's how it was for me.

[-] subarctictundra@lemmy.world 14 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

it's forbidden to have sex

Yep. I grew up in upper class britain and it's sad how here too that was somehow, without ever explicitly being said, drilled into me.

Edit: nobody ever told me that sex was bad, but that's the view I took away for some reason?

[-] festnt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago

i think it's less explicitly "sex is bad" and more "virginity is holy", making people feel like sex is bad

[-] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

That's why you make an agreement in advance.

[-] Jhuskindle@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago

I was 27 when i did the deed for the first time. It was very overrated. I'm almost 40 now. Ive been married, tried a few partners, it just didn't matter. But before 27 I thought I must be missing out and got sad over it. Nah man it's really nbd.

[-] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 11 points 18 hours ago

It's society putting sex on pedestal. I agree when I did the deed for the first time, I feel it is overrated. Sorry if i might slight someone here, but from my observation, it is kind of the shallower folks who put too much value on sex.

[-] frezik 30 points 1 day ago

It's not a big deal, except that now you know it's not a big deal. When people are hung up about it, releasing that can be a help.

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[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 102 points 1 day ago

"I see you more as a brother"

"How much to see me as a step brother?"

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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