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[-] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 105 points 2 months ago

Everyone who’s dealt with kids knows you have to bisect the giraffe equally from nose to tail so everyone gets 2 legs, or somebody will cry that it’s unfair.

[-] pfwood178@sh.itjust.works 101 points 2 months ago

Everyone who deals with scientists knows they assume a perfectly spherical, frictionless, giraffe.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 48 points 2 months ago
[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 30 points 2 months ago

lol a giraffe would never fit in my vacuum.

[-] PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

You have to remember to take the Elephant out first.

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[-] bulwark@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

I let one cut and the other gets to pick first.

[-] zakobjoa@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

This is the way. And from experience, it will result in sub-nanometer size differences.

[-] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 10 points 2 months ago

Kids are total commies.

[-] marcos@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Make sure to get the same number of spots too.

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[-] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 43 points 2 months ago

Even if you think height divided by two, why even describe it that way? Giraffes are tall, but not so unfathomably tall that something half its size is incomprehensible. That’s 7-9ish feet. You couldn’t say the size of Andre the Giant?

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 19 points 2 months ago

The Youth Today don't know who that is. Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is? We may never know.

[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago

Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is?

Just today, I learned a handy way of visualizing the size of a giraffe. If you took that asteroid that struck off the coast of Iceland, and made a copy of it and put the two of them together, that's about the size of a giraffe.

[-] Lumidaub@feddit.org 16 points 2 months ago

If that doesn't get you some Nobel prize, I don't know what will.

[-] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 10 points 2 months ago

Sorry, I need that in dishwashers or ping pong balls

[-] xylol@leminal.space 6 points 2 months ago

I think you just need to translate everything to bananas then go in from there

[-] marcos@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

People usually measure asteroids by mass (but then, those people are already abnormal, so who knows?), if so, it's something around the size of a cow.

Or maybe they could use metric...

[-] cute_noker@feddit.dk 5 points 2 months ago

A big rock, maybe this is the appropriate time to use stone

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[-] Okokimup@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago
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[-] Kirca@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago

This is why real scientists use the only reasonable real world measurement - a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum.

[-] TorJansen@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago

Hmm. Thought they used bananas.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

Maybe in a shop vac.

[-] satanmat@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

Dear gods

How far will these Americans go to not use the metric system... ffs

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[-] nialv7@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

obviously the scientists meant a spherical giraffe in a vacuum

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[-] seraphine 20 points 2 months ago

americans be using anything but the metric system

[-] kalpol@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 months ago
[-] LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 2 months ago

But they're the sort of British that yearns for the good old days, when we still had shillings and inches and diphtheria and jumpers for goalposts and no womens' rights and all that great British stuff.

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[-] meme_historian@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 months ago

One standard volume giraffe of course, i.e. the volume in m³ an average giraffe would fill (at room temperature and sea level), when passed through a blender. And then half of that

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago

Also, most people dont even have a good grasp on how big giraffes are anyways!

I once went to a zoo that had an elevated platform extending into the giraffe's habitat so that you could stand face to face with them. Their heads are as big as a normal human, like 5 feet from crown to chin!

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[-] passenger@sopuli.xyz 13 points 2 months ago

Reads Daily Mail clickbait, proceeds to blame "scientists"

[-] absentbird@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

So like the size of a horse?

The average horse is about half the height and weight of the average giraffe. Giraffes are just a really bad unit of measurement, males weight about 400kg more than females and there is a wide height difference over their global population, they are technically four different species we just all call giraffe 🦒

[-] buttnugget@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I was just going to say, what kind of weird ass size comparison is that. It’s almost as egregious as saying “half the size of two apples”.

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[-] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

And is it half the volume, mass or a dimension? Because I've never tried neither blending or carrying a giraffe before (I never got invited to those parties in uni) so I have no grasp on volume or mass.

[-] BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Surely a giraffe is nearly uniform density making the distinction between volume and mass irrelevant

[-] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

Assume a spherical giraffe.

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[-] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 months ago

I love it when I can understand your memes!

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 2 months ago

Ask questions when you do not. :)

[-] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 months ago

Oh I wouldn’t begin to know what to even ask. I’m a music major lol. But if I think of something, I’ll pipe up.

[-] fossilesque@mander.xyz 10 points 2 months ago

Start with where you are, others will be there too. :)

[-] MourningDove@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 months ago

Thanks! I’ll do that.

[-] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago

The Daily Mail readership will not fathom your question. It is a rag for those who would follow MAGA but want to appear intelligent without have either the natural talent or putting in any work to increase knowledge. Baseline racism is a requirement

[-] territorial@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 months ago

In other words, a large boulder the size of a small boulder

[-] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

I don't get why Americans are doing their best to avoid the metric system. It's always weird discriptions. Like dishwashers, or in this case, half a giraffe. Just use bananas if (cubic) meters are too complex.

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[-] oyfrog@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

The anatomical answer is sagitally down the midline.

[-] BlushedPotatoPlayers@sopuli.xyz 6 points 2 months ago

It's not the scientists, it's a single journalist who is popping out these headlines. Some of those caught attention.

[-] Quibblekrust@thelemmy.club 6 points 2 months ago

I once saw a snake half the size of a garden hose.

[-] EvilEdgelord@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

You divide the giraffe vertically down the center 🤦‍♂️

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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
985 points (100.0% liked)

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