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[-] grue@lemmy.world 66 points 6 days ago
[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago

one spouse is more likely to cook potatoes if there are 2 or more available to enjoy them. Other spouse can cook some protein.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

fry fry grill grill fry fry grill grill

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Are you saying I need to be polyamorous before someone will make me potatoes?

[-] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

mmmmm... 3 dish meals!

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

They don't like when you ask all the time, though. But sometimes they'll even put potatoes in dumplings for you. See if you can get one to do that for you. Add butter, bacon, sour cream. Mmm.

[-] BearGun@ttrpg.network 1 points 6 days ago

Goated response

[-] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 32 points 6 days ago

Boil em, mash em, stick em up your arse

[-] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

While you may be able to derive some small amount of nutrition from boiled and mashed potatoes in your rectum, it's usually advisable to consume them through the other end, since starch digestion starts with salivary amylase.

If you'd rather consume the potatoes anally, it's advisable that you find someone to spit into your anus to help the digestive process.

Safety advice: please note that the mouth is lined in stratified squamous epithelium, which is better prepared to handle rough mechanical/chemical/biological stimuli than the simple columnar epithelium of the rectal ampulla. It is therefore advisable to ensure the mashed potatoes are sufficiently cool before uh ~~ingesting~~ ~~scooping~~ consuming.

[-] martinb@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 6 days ago

If I could upvote you twice...

[-] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago

Was fully expecting a hell in the cell ending to this post.

[-] prole 16 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

How good are potatoes though, right? Fuck I'm stoned.

[-] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

They're so versatile and just plain delicious! I'm going to make some balsamic red potatoes tonight with dinner!

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

I'd be hard-pressed to remember having a bad potato. How often can you say that about anything in life?

[-] Velypso@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago

Starting to understand why my wife married me

[-] arc99@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Kind of weird to think that potatoes are a relatively modern cooking ingredient. Introduced to Europe from the new world, but even then a slow burner. The French had to be persuaded in the 1800s to think of them as anything but food for livestock.

[-] AstaKask@lemmy.cafe 9 points 6 days ago

Fuck carbs. Happiness comes from salads and meat. And my wife.

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 14 points 6 days ago

You haven’t had my mashed potatoes though

It’s an additional thing that brings happiness

[-] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 6 days ago

you use a ricer

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

Do you think you use a ricer on rice? To turn rice into ... rice?

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I mean… what else would it do?

Like smaller rice.

[-] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 days ago

Huh, it’s similar to what I thought it did, I just thought it was for rice…

I think if you put actual rice through a ricer, it would turn it into potato.

[-] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Case in point, you haven't had his wife either, so I'm on the fence on this one.

[-] gnutrino@programming.dev 3 points 6 days ago

I propose an experiment...

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

So your wife isn't sweet? She's not your sugar?

[-] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 8 points 6 days ago

and bread! Don't forget eating bread happiness.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

You may want to sit down for this.

[-] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 3 points 6 days ago

I always thought that was just a name for the shape, but there really is potato’s in it. Best of both worlds.

[-] diptchip@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I disagree. Human beings are social creatures. Happiness primarily comes from healthy interpersonal relationships, not marriage/prison. In isolation, only the insane are happy. You can downvote and try to replace all human interaction with the screens, hate, and pets, but I can see right through your BS because I've been there. Tell me sex isn't important. Maybe you're content and you keep yourself distracted by being a workaholic and BSing with the people that are paid to be around you, but that facade and those relationships end the day your employment does. The sad truth is that before the screens, people entertained each other. Now we're addicted to the screens. Everyone seems to think happiness is on the other side of one. People are convincing themselves that they don't even need other people... Just need their next fix of screen time. The people on the screens have got us afraid of each other while the crime rate is at an all time low. Got us more likely to fight our neighbors than the people that are robbing us. And taters suck, nutritionally speaking, but I'm content with 'em as long as it's 25% cheese.

[-] Strawberry 2 points 6 days ago

i was with you till the last word

[-] klu9@piefed.social 5 points 6 days ago

So that's why Irish novels are so cheerful!

[-] SpongyAneurysm@feddit.org 1 points 5 days ago

I think the Irish are still collectively lamenting the times, when there were not enough potatoes to eat.

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Lived alone, eating basically low carb, greek style – not hungry for chips & snacks

Temporary back to mothers (farm, lots of pasta and potato and meat) – hungry for snacks, gaining weight.

[-] lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

!potatoism@lemmy.world

[-] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

No poutine? What kind of Americentric nonsense is this?

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago
[-] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Yes, but the picture shows fries with ketchup when fries with gravy and cheese curds is objectively the best potato preparation ever dreamed by our species.

[-] MissJinx@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I said to my nieces "hapiness is like fire. Money, Lovers, Cars, Success... They are the sticks and logs. If you throw a log into a fire it will increase. But if there is no fire then it's just a pile of wood. You need even a little smal sparkle in you to be able to be happy with all the other stuff. If you have no sparkle, money and boyfriends are just a pile of wood"

Edit: sorry for any mistakes but I lost my glasses

[-] diptchip@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Toys are only fun if you play.

[-] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

When my spouse is feeling down, potatoes solve all problems.

[-] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

[-] SugarCatDestroyer@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Relationships don't bring happiness, but happiness comes from a partner with whom, no matter how much you argue, you understand each other, this is much more valuable than any food, but finding a truly suitable partner is comparable to a miracle, so you can consider that potatoes are still better, but not from fucking McDonald's, but the one you cooked yourself and it will be good for your health.

[-] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago
[-] potoo22@programming.dev 13 points 1 week ago

That's why you marry someone who cooks lots of potatoes

[-] Flagstaff@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

Or you be the potato fiend!

this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2025
933 points (100.0% liked)

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