I've never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?
I expected them to hang off a central stalk. Or perhaps grow like corn, where there's a more plant-looking plant growing with the asparagus inside it.
I raise you brussels sprouts:
I can't believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet
I even traveled all the way to brussels to get them just for this prank.
Brussels can only be called brussels if they're from the brussels region of france, otherwise it's just sparkling wine
I'll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:
Aren't the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn't. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?
Maybe they are not as fit for exporting or selling so the more profitable parts get sent to US instead?
They’re called cashew apples. You can find them at asian and latin grocery stores sometimes. Never had one, but i hear they are tasty, they’re hard to transport, though, so you have to be in the right areas to find them.
Cashew juice is very tasty and it's quite popular here in brazil. It also has medicinal properties for when you have diarrhea.
They're not great. But you can make decent jam from them.
Wtf no way this is real
EDIT: whoa
Yea I wasn't sure how I thought they grew, but I never would have guessed that. I saw them at the supermarket on the stem and I was like wtf
and these are all related to cabbages, cauliflowers, broccoli too, they come from the same species.
And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages
Wait until you hear how closely related they are to cabbages
they are cultivars of the same species. cabbages, broccili, cauliflowers, brussel sprouts,,,etc. Brassica oleracea, also includes kale and collard greens
bok choi, napa cabbages are from a related species, similar bred.
And the violet one tastes great:
Brussels sprouts are unreal
I've seen markets sell brussels sprouts on the stalk but I didn't know it had leaves.
I figured the leaves were the brussels sprouts,
Thanks for the info.
On another branch of that family tree, those leaves are kale.
Not even another branch - it's the same exact species, just a different cultivar
selected for increased leaf growth over the flowers.
First time I saw them I felt like someone was playing a massive prank on me… in a random supermarket, by putting clearly alien veggies in the veggie section
they are buds of the flowering part. we eat the flowering parts mostly, like broccoli, cauliflower.
You can buy them like that in a grocer though. Shit for fridge space.
You could have given me a million guesses and I wouldn't have arrived at that!
Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?
Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.
Didn't know we harvested them as baby plants.
Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.
This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.
It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.
Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.
Vile weed.
I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.
Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!
I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.
While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.
Also, if you're using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.
Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.
Have you thought about getting a urinary tract infection? They make your urine smell extra funny!
Added to bucket list.
You fucking what? Say that to my face
It's extremely low maintenance once it establishes though which is nice.
I'm sorry, I'm still in awe that anyone would hear that asparagus needs two years to grow enough for a viable harvest and still think it's worth doing
Well it takes 2 years to grow, but the harvest is in the 3rd year, at least when I've done it. It's a perennial with minimal maintenance aside from weeding & water
Wait... How do we know that someone didn't just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?
never really thought about it
I’m a breastparagus man myself
Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I'm asparagus.
Somewhat related story; my middle name is Peter, and I had seemingly misheard it, as for the first 6 years of my life I thought my middle name was pizza.
if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.
Asperagus blooming:
Don't google what Hans Asparagus did to disabled kids!
And don't look up his friend, Pauli Broccoli. I've heard he's even worse.
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