They built a land bridge. They even named it. Canada.

It's because Alaska has migratory patterns, that's why it's sometimes southwest of Texas, other times it's right next to California.

How are you going to build a bridge that moves that far, dumbass?

Yes. VERY. I have encountered three people in the wild who actually believe that Alaska is an island. The best time was when I was traveling with my kid and they said we were from Alaska to a group of people in an elevator. One of the kids in the elevator said "can you drive to Alaska?". the mom told then her , "they can't drive to Alaska because it's an island! and that's why there at the airport!" To which the DAD replied "ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS? WTF." 

That was pretty good.

I understand that this is just a shitpost, but the scaling here is crazy 😆 Alaska is more than twice the size of Texas

Don’t forget to build one to Hawaii too. That’s where the delicious pizzas grow, right?

And why didn't they just call it the Gulf of Hawaii? That would've been a lot less controversial.

We tried. Canada kept getting in the way.

I'd pay to see someone asking random americans in the streets about this

Because there’s a country between the Mainland and Alaska. Any bridge would need to be negotiated with Mexico.

A very modest and reasonable proposal

Yes.

But unrelated to this. Which is silly; just do a ferry, dumkopf.

During the Mexican-American War the US secretly bribed Alaska to sneak up behind Mexico and eat Mexico in one big gulp.

Then the US put Alaska in a box to quarantine it because it started to get sick. This is what you see illustrated on many maps because it was historically a very important moment to US geography.

Eventually Alaska got too nauseous, threw Mexico back up and crawled back on top of Canada.

What a lot of people don't realize though is what made Alaska so sick wasn't Mexico, it was that Alaska mistook Texas for part of Mexico and took both Mexico and Texas in one bite, and it was only the extreme toxicity of Texas that made Alaska so queasy.

Ultimately the plan of course backfired, Mexico was fine chilling inside Alaska (Alaskans and Mexicans had even taken to calling it "Mexicalaska") and this upset the rest of the US and caused riots all over the country for weeks... and unfortunately for architects of the Alaska Ambush, Alaska was not big enough to dilute the corrosive bigotry of Texas in order for Alaska to keep it down permanently.

That would be a very long bridge, probably too long to biuld. Notice the size of lake Ponchartrain by New Orleans, which is 24 miles. This would be a bridge hundreds of miles long. It's likely not feasible, sadly.

Buncha crackheads live there and we don't want to provide shelter to bridge trolls

Alaskan lobby doesn't want mexicans there, whether they're new or not

Alaska is gonna become Canada’s 11th province. So a bridge ain’t happening.

That'd be a long bridge.

It appears to my eye that the red line goes from around Arena NM to ~Ciudad Cuauhtemoc Mexico.

That's about 235 miles.

The current longest bridge is Danyang–Kunshan Grand Bridge in China which is 102 miles, but the majority of that is over land.

However, since the map put Alaska in the middle of Mexico.....

We TOTALLY could.

Perhaps not for this reason, but yes, we are stupid

Because America doesn't have enough money to build the bridge they are saving it to get 6 trillion luxury cars and houses /s

This is a misconception. It's not expensive to build the bridge, it's just prohibitive to move Alaska down there especially while changing its border projection neatly.

Yes, and how convenient I know a guy who has a bridge to sell as well!

Because then they couldn't sell their precious Alaskan cruises.