We are a women's only community, so please no male comments.
Edit: thanks all for reporting the hostile remarks! You really are an amazing group of people. Really appreciate how positive so many men have been as well. I see you all and value you ❤️
I'm really looking forward coming back to this community tomorrow, with the knowledge that many deeply unpleasant people have been banned and will not be around anymore.
The moderators of this community do an exquisite job. Rules are enforced, but with kindness. All rule breaking is treated as an honest mistake, unless proven otherwise.
Even though this thread is filled with vitriol, there is no censorship. No comments were removed by moderators. Bans are not applied retroactively.
Thanks so much for the work you do for this community! Keep it up! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Hilde, I really appreciate it. We're blessed to have some brilliant people here, which makes the job a lot easier!
Note to the men reading this, you can upvote comments you agree with freely.
Remember, the comment section on every internet post about feminism only goes to show, um, how provocative this kind of rhetoric is.
"I'm a hardcore racist and misogynist and I'm pissed I can't express these views at work anymore." - author.
I mean... Good? We nowadays have these things called "societal norms", which means everyone needs to think before they open their big stupid mouths.
You know what real pros do? They were already aware of this, and were already doing this.
If you have to be taught these lessons now, well, take it as a learning opportunity. Expand your horizons. Enhance your compassion.
Legit, i read this out to the hubs (a white male) and his response was a bewildered "what the fuck are they doing that they have to be afraid??"
White dude here, in the US, currently sitting at work. (Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request, but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.)
And I’m walking on fuckin’ sunshine over here because I’m nice to people and I got myself out of the Conservatism Spectrum Disorder shit that I was born into.
It’s funny how things work…
Being white? Fine. I’ve never been attacked for it, even by people who have very much the opposite of white privilege.
Being a dude? Also working out well. I have a hell of a sex drive for a middle aged dad-bodder, and of course there are attractive people at work, yet I have managed to not stalk or grab or attack or cat call anybody. (the exception for some of those is my wife, in a good way)
There are a whole lot of bad men out there. Being a good one requires recognizing that. If you’re already resisting that concept then you’re already way off track because we’re talking about half of humanity.
And if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, yeah maybe it’s some other toxic person’s fault, but make sure to take a long hard look at yourself too. That feeling of self-consciousness or embarrassment might be you starting to get it.
Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request
"Request?" Dude. Read the rules.
I should have sent a PM, but I want others to see this since you're getting upvoted, and the mods here are courteous: do not treat a community's #1 rule as a 'request' just because that rule says 'women only'. I would never, ever comment here other than to point out the hypocrisy of such a violation.
The rules are printed many times, very visibly and unambiguously.
You want to discuss? You can make a post in some other community, linking this one.
...but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.
Sent from an 'angry guy lurking': Your comment, disrespecting a space like this, makes me feel far worse. You make me feel self-consciousness, like I'm walking on eggshells.
(Apologies, mods, please community ban me if that seems warranted).
I am mod and I absolutely never ban supportive people or delete supportive comments. We take a lot of manosphere shit here, and we all really do appreciate the men that have our backs. Obviously don't comment again, but I honestly am grateful for you
I get that you think you're being an ally here by defending us.
But what kind of ally directly disrespects their counterpart by ignoring the rules because they're angry? What kind of ally then does this twice in the same thread after someone points it out? How are you being an "ally" by assuming we poor little weak women can't handle our own defence?
The rule here is very clearly written:
It boils down to two words: "women only". Which one didn't you understand when you decided to be exactly like the men you're castigating?
Zink thanks so much for popping by! As you mentioned we are women only, so please don't comment again, thanks for understanding 😊
You wouldn't be walking on eggshells if you didn't want to say shit that'd upset people
Shitting on men
No male comments
With all due respect, I do not believe this should be allowed, should it?
Terrible when men do this, no better when done by women
Gotta love this take on "shitting on".
You: "Endure" mild criticism of broadcasting your point of view 24×7 in every conceivable locale (to the point you're broadcasting it now in a group explicitly asking you not to do it).
We: Endure non-stop sexist comments, sexual advances, sexual assaults and, upon suggesting that perhaps this is not such a good idea, get dog-piled by men with hurt fee-fees, get doxxed, get threats of active sexual assault, and in extreme cases take beatings and even get murdered.
We are not the same. Our concerns are not the same. Don't be a putz and pretend they are.
Hey, I am genuinely sympathetic to your concerns, and there's no need to make it an attack. Moreover, I'm not supportive of people saying anything without regards of how it affects others - I genuinely despise people doing what you describe.
I'm only calling for basic ethics while you're at it - it's never a good idea to go after a certain extremely wide and diverse group of people (white men, in this case, but can be any other) and then restrict them from setting the record straight. Everyone has the right to stand up for themselves.
Without it, we get violent echo chambers that get more and more detached from reality, and also anger those that are targeted to no benefit, which is antithetical to a productive change.
Think of the manosphere bullshit that goes extremely violent, has absolutely nothing of valid substance and drowns any female voices. This is it. This is what you get over time if you ignore the other side.
And this is why male voices are going to spring up here - and women are gonna keep rightfully attacking the manosphere. No one needs the escalation of bullshit and angering that happens with it.
Well we could just chase you off with horrifically abusive commentary, doxxing, rape threats and the usual methods but it seemed like too much work.
What I said is not in support of that, and I have to make it clear.
What you describe is criminal activity, and it should be so.
Lol. Lmfao. Hahahahaha
As a white man on the work I am indeed afraid to speak freely about breadcrumb salary, micromanagement and unrealistic deadlines.
Hey cub thanks for popping in! We are women only so please don't comment again 🥰
Oh my, I know about this space, but didn't see where I am actually. Leaving. Sorry
It's fine no problem at all and I really appreciate your respectful comment. Have a good night!
Jesus christ. I saw a thread in some other community the other day about Women's Stuff and the men wah-wah-wahing like little babies about this sub were ridiculous. Same thing - in that thread some man was saying that when he replied to threads here he felt like he had to walk on eggshells.
You guys, all we want is one tiny corner of lemmy to ourselves. Somewhere we can talk about things that uniquely affect us -or- perhaps they affect men too but they affect us in a unique way due to our gender. And many men are cool with this concept and generally supportive (and a sincere thank you to those guys!) but a significant number are butthurt little babies about being unwanted here.
Those are the same butthurt little babies in the Fox News poll. If you can't keep it civil in the workplace I don't know what to tell you other than you're a low-quality human. Have some fucking empathy.
Edit: here's the post I was talking about.
99.44% of Lemmy is dominated by men.
One group out of thousand (maybe even tens of thousands by now!) asks men not to post.
The more emotional gender melts down.
It's the circle of life.
Or just talk about things without every single thread being about men and their shitty brittle little feelings and having to explain shit to them constantly because they're dumber than rocks.
Kinda typing this on rocks right now, and they retain informatuon pretty well.
I looked at that thread earlier and there were so many disgusting comments in there. It reminds me of why I left reddit a few years ago. The API changes and discussion of alternate places led me here, but I left primarily because of all the rampant misogyny, transphobia, racism, etc and the mods and admins who refused to do anything about it.
I really enjoy Blåhaj and the mods and admins here who actually care about kicking out bigots.
Also feel like this is very relevant here:
Love this, these men on Lemmy need some feminism 101 and some training. This is good for them and will improve the Lemmy community overall. (Which is why the misogynists are mad about it)
Yep! They have the whole rest of lemmy to hang out in we're literally ONE group. I saw the thread but I was heartened to see how many men were standing up for is, plus a man warned me about the thread so we could protect ourselves. There were so many men there moaning that they couldn't come here and tell us we were wrong.
Can't spew hate anymore without someone going 'that's not nice'. Political corectness gone mad.
Why - did they hear people had eggshells they don't want walked on?
Its actually wild the shit some dudes say at work when they think they’re in a safe space with other dudes.
Every time I start to feel bad for these men, I remember every time I was either victimized or made to feel uncomfortable on purpose and I no longer feel bad about it. I think there is an aspect of me that is able to sympathize, but a bigger part is fucking bitter and wants to see them get a taste of their own medicine.
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