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Top tip
(piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
Big "have you tried not being sad all the time" energy
Wowimcured
Unironically, though.
Stop trying to be "on time" and start planning to arrive early. That way when something inevitably trips you up, you've got a buffer to work with, rather than any deviation automatically making you late.
Legitimately I started doing this when I realized I'm a better person when I'm not rushing. I can take my time getting there, maybe help someone get their bags to their car, chat with the panhandlers, hold doors open without wishing the other person would hurry up, etc.
Better than just flooding myself with cortisol all the way to my appointment and arriving all flustered and shit.
My sister in law is chronically late. She uses this strategy and always tells herself a time 30 mins early, so she can get places on time.
On one occasion my brother asked her what time dance class for the kids was. She tells him 12:00, so my brother - being an "always on time" person - gets there for 11:45 so he's a little early.
Turns out the time my SIL told him was her personal fake start time, not the actual start time, so he's 45 mins early lol.
"Personal fake start time" is a great term!
It's transparent about what you're doing to others and leads into telling them the actual start time!
Rofl almost this exact scenario happened to me for first day on a job. I asked my partner what time I had written on the calendar then padded it again.
Plus side, it was a gallery job so I got to walk around and check out all the exhibits on my own, so when people asked me about them I actually had some deep reads.
Did you get the job?
Sure did. In fact I'm going to a shift in 3 hours.
Being 15 minutes early is on time.
Being on time is being late.
Shit happens.
For many people this is where the word s*** that you mentioned really does matter. The goal is to get to the thing before it begins which could be 30 seconds or 30 minutes early, whatever. And I think now when we all have digital devices, it's pretty easy to make use of your time by reading a book or the news or watching TikTok or whatever, so it's not like you're wasting time sitting around if you happen to arrive 20 minutes ahead of schedule.
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We told a friend who was always up to an hour late that the event started at 3 instead of the real time of 4. He arrived exactly at 4, just when the rest rolled up too. He was so mad when he found out.
Let me guess, they did the classic projection case of acting like they were mad because they felt "tricked"?
"I was freaking out for an hour when I didn't have to??"
"Are you saying you would have rather spent an hour somewhere else and didn't want to admit it to out faces?"
Seriously though, it is disingenuous to tell them it's an hour early. But it's also rude to repeatedly be an hour late to things. You could argue being late is accidental and lying about a start time is intentional but after everything is said and done, it's kind of a wash, and the point should have been made.
Simply telling them "hey, you're always an hour late, to the point where I'm tempted to tell you things start a hour earlier" may have been a more constructive way to approach things.
I used to be incredibly punctual, in spite of my ADHD, because I stressed out about it. Then I moved to Germany and everyone considered me late for being on time (or 5-15 minutes early, depending on the occasion), so I’ve given up.
Just move to France and you will be just one time by being 30min late
I have this one friend where we always tell him it starts 30 minutes earlier, just so he arrives reasonably on time
Step 1: Live in a plave with great and punctual public transport (like switzerland)
Step 2: Arrive exactly at the right time
Step 3: ...
Step 4: The people you wanted to meet finally arrive 20 minutes late because they came by car. There was no trafic; Taking the car just makes you more lenient with your schedule.
I have somewhere to be in 4 hours. It will take me about half an hour to get there. I could get up and start getting ready, or I can get a 4–hour head start on feeling bad for being late. While browsing Lemmy.
Posted 3 hours ago, so you still have the better part of an hour to just chill and not worry. This is definitely the right approach.
Important update: Motivated by my bout of self awareness, I decided to get in very early and prepared instead. I've been waiting for my friends in the freezing cold for half an hour. This is worse than being late.
This is your chance to be superior! Make sure they know you were waiting in the freezing cold for half an hour! Never let them live this down!
You clearly have no experience with ADHD. I have autism, I'm always way too early. My ADHD friends just don't work that way. They are always late, even when they plan on leaving early.
Something always happens and because I'm not hyper sensitive about time I don't really mind if I'm delayed.
It's usually because the cats won't come in. But I can't say I couldn't come because I was worried the cats would get wet so instead I blame traffic.
Hahaha same here, I cannot leave the house when my cats are still outside. I taught them to come when I whistle, that really helps. Every time when I feed them or give them a treat, I whistle before I give it to them. After they get used to it, I give them something 75% of the time.
Yeah time gets wonky for us
I'm always 30+ minutes early to stuff. It's so bad. I always think i will be late, even when I'm 30 minutes early.
Same. Have an appointment 20 minutes away? Ooh, better leave 40 minutes before, just in case.
With the traffic, road work, and detours sometimes thrown in the way, this habit has been quite helpful. The last appointment I had let me in early because there was availability as soon as I arrived, so I got to leave earlier than expected.
"I planned to leave the house at 6 but I planned with a buffer so there is no rush to actually leave at 6."
This post pisses me off. Literally no matter how much I try, plan, give triple double extra time to be ready, and attempt to be early.
With any or all of that there is no guarantee that I won't be late.
This is not a choice for me.
Fuck this post, and fuck all you people who think it's that simple. YOU are the problem.
-- Edit --
All down votes on my comments and upvotes on the sheep diarrhea responses here are from ableist anus wrinkles of people.
No, I'm places on time. While waiting on your tardy ass isn't the problem, it's still problematic. Get your shit in a pile. Our time is finite and valuable, not a soul wants to spend it waiting on someone who basically lied about when and where they'll be.
People have brains that work differently and they should not be shamed by people who refuse to grasp the idea that not everyone works like you do.
https://www.healthline.com/health/time-blindness
Did you not get the part that it's not a choice for me?
Why are you late? Do you leave your house too late? Is the traffic bad? What's the reason.
I'm never late, I always plan for things to go wrong and usually I'm too early and have some time to chill before something starts.
I don't see how time blindness prevents you from setting an alarm.
That's part of the problem. People assume an alarm—or some other '""simple"" solution—would solve everything. There's a fundamental lack of understanding, then, worsening the issue, people are judged based on that non-existent foundational comprehension that people don't always work the way you do.
It's simply not up to us. We can try, and sometimes succeed, but it's simply not within our control.
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ADHD doesn't work like that, and this whole discussion is full of the sort of responses ADHD folk get every day :\
- be a wizard
Aww, how naive.
🤯
Its not hard, set an alarm 2minutes before you should drive. Just stop what you're doing when the alarm goes off. It will wait on you to come back,,, no neeed for just anything. Get going
Nope doesn't work. When the alarm goes off I ignore it, because I have 2 minutes.
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this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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