941
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 330 points 1 month ago
[-] sus@programming.dev 71 points 1 month ago

funny how well this fits for both meanings

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 1 month ago

I don't mind bees. It's the ones that bite you for no reason at all that I can't stand.

[-] Tankton@lemm.ee 23 points 1 month ago

Bite you for no reason?! You're the one crushing their home and messing everything up!

[-] Huschke@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Exactly. I'd like to see OP's reaction if a giant would crush his house and maybe even his loved ones.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Bees and butterflies don't pollinate all by themselves, FYI. Things that bite/sting also do a lot of pollination work! Flies, wasps, etc

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Melvin_Ferd@lemmy.world 71 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's kind of funny how cyclical the solution is here. Compute needs power. That power is driving climate change. Which kills the bugs which kills the humans which prevents any more bugs from being created.

Thank you for reading my Black mirror fanfic brought to you by noctua.

[-] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Bugs will outlast

[-] entwine413@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

The only caveat is that at some point we will likely start farming insects as a food source. They require way less resources to produce than animal protein, and are actually pretty healthy (and tasty if cooked right)

People might be grossed out, but shellfish is basically just ocean insects and many of us love that shit.

[-] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 month ago

I used to hate shellfish

but now I hate shellfish with righteous indignation.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Thorry84@feddit.nl 61 points 1 month ago

The monkey paw curls: all insects and other "bugs" are gone now, the food chain collapses bottom up and the human race is just about extinct within 10 years.

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 30 points 1 month ago

Don't 'monkey's paw' comments usually have a negative?

[-] match@pawb.social 43 points 1 month ago

the capybaras are dead :c

[-] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

Depends on the monkey

[-] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio 7 points 1 month ago

Everything else dies too.

[-] _AutumnMoon_ 3 points 1 month ago

I would say It's not really the loss of bugs in general that cause the food chain to collapse, but the loss of pollinating insects specifically that really causes problems.

[-] SkyeStarfall 6 points 1 month ago

You're definitively forgetting about other important insects for agriculture such as worms

[-] _AutumnMoon_ 7 points 1 month ago

Worms aren't insects, but I agree they are definitely important

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago

We're working on it.

[-] TootSweet@lemmy.world 43 points 1 month ago

I upvoted this before I saw what community it was in. Now I wish I could upvote twice.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago

Me if ticks didn't exist.

I used lay directly in the grass without a care in the world.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago
[-] entwine413@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

My sinuses sealed shut from this picture.

[-] brrt@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

I wouldn’t mind them if they didn’t carry/transmit those awful diseases.

[-] SunshineJogger@feddit.org 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Technically those images would be different without insects.

You wouldn't believe how dead everything would be without insects.

Humans would have an extinction level event if suddenly all bugs were gone.

OP IS TRYING TO KILL US ALL!

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 4 points 1 month ago

Clegs can go extinct and no one will cry about it. Fuck clegs. I will take mosquitos and wasps any day over clegs.

Not only are they the insect version of a bad day they were also adorned the worst color scheme in nature: gray and poop brown. They have nothing going for them. Delete.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] epicshepich@programming.dev 22 points 1 month ago

I used to sleep on the grass before my jujutsu class. Got bit by some bugs once, but honestly, the worst problem was trying to find a spot without goose poop.

[-] PolarKraken@programming.dev 10 points 1 month ago

I enjoy and appreciate nature in nearly all its forms. Even mosquitos just tryna live, they're born required to bite somebody 🤷‍♂️

Fuck the Canada goose.

Fuck em as a group, fuck their whole flocks, fuck a flying V of Canada geese. Fuck em as an entire grand, branching lineage of this strange fractal miracle we call life, get rid of the Canada goose and our timeline returns to the more harmonious path it had been on before everything stopped making sense.

Canada is cool, fuck that goose tho.

[-] Metamist@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Please don't fuck the geese

[-] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Nah fuck mosquitos, specifically the genus that sucks blood, which is a subsect. They don't even add to an ecosystem and its been widely theorized they could be wiped out without environmental harm, but only benefit.

Death to biting mosquitos.

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2016/02/20/467094440/would-it-be-a-bad-thing-to-wipe-out-a-species-if-its-a-mosquito

[-] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

What a out ticks?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] wewbull@feddit.uk 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

You need to meet it's bigger brother, the swan.

Where I live we get white swans, Canadian geese, and Egyptian geese. Egyptian are smaller and absolutely fine. Canadian will get angry and tell you to fuck off Swans are 50% bigger and will run you out of the county.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] paulbg@programming.dev 21 points 1 month ago

80% of our bugs will be replaced by AI by the year 2026

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Don't worry, AI will reintroduce those bugs into our software to live on there

[-] bier@feddit.nl 21 points 1 month ago

Yeah if bugs didn't exist I'd be homeless too

[-] thejoker954@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

I get the importance of bugs, but why do they gotta be such annoying assholes.

[-] _AutumnMoon_ 5 points 1 month ago

They know they are important, so they be assholes knowing we can't do anything about it

[-] entwine413@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

I'd be fine if it was just biting mosquitoes that disappeared.

[-] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Image is accurate, since without bugs, the food chain collapses and takes society with it, and the survivors will have to migrate to rural areas that can support a hunter-gatherer lifrstyle.

[-] _AutumnMoon_ 4 points 1 month ago

If pollinators weren't necessary, human food wouldn't be affected too much. But given we eat plants (and the animals we eat eat plants) hunter-gathering would have the same problem as just continuing farming. Can't gather if there are no plants, can't hunt if the prey starved to death.

[-] Lumisal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Eh, grass would be fine, and cows eat grass.

The snails would get out of hand probably tho

[-] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago

German has a word for it: Insektensterben

[-] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 5 points 1 month ago

Yes, happily unemployed 😊

[-] Godnroc@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

I already do this on occasion, there is usually just several inches of snow on the ground when I do.

[-] Dicska@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Things that are not bugs:

  • snails/slugs
  • rats/mice
  • other insects that are not bugs
  • poop of any state and origin
  • thugs
[-] melvisntnormal@feddit.uk 3 points 1 month ago

me if hayfever didn't exist:

[-] pewgar_seemsimandroid 3 points 1 month ago

nah, that's a insect shield.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
941 points (100.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

25377 readers
1586 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS