378
submitted 3 days ago by ooli2@lemm.ee to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] Merva@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 days ago

I see the facebook trend of finding random picture of girl and then adding derogatory "jokes" on it has reached lemmy.

[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 94 points 3 days ago

Weird that she was allowed to adopt even one child, let alone two, being so young and single. Maybe she is a very successful businesswoman & philanthropist. This is evidently why she is also still a virgin- no time for dating when running a successful business.

I assume “as🍑” has something to do with her career. Maybe she runs a fruit preserves manufacturer? Good of her to offer to let us try out making new flavors, though I don’t know what I would add to peach jam. Maybe nutmeg?

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 44 points 3 days ago

Peaches...come in her can. Put it in there like a man. In a factory downtown.

[-] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Nature's candy in your hand or pie

[-] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 days ago

This reference reminds me I need to take some ibuprofen.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago

Chris Ballew, the singer and bassist of POTUSA, now does children's music under the name Casper Babypants.

[-] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago

It isn't much used, but cardamom is actually really good with peach. And cinnamon of course.

[-] nomy@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

I recently had a "spiced peach butter" similar to apple butter that was really great. I think it was mostly cinnamon and nutmeg.

[-] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 41 points 2 days ago

this feels like an ai was trained on dating app bios and then it spat out this

[-] phx@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

I think it swallowed rather than spat it this case

Most of Tinder is not real profiles last i was in there a few years ago. Bet it’s so much worse now

[-] copd@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

how did you verify the profiles were not human?

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 46 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Young people these days unjokingly refer to their pets as their children. I could see that going on here

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago

Oh so Mary does it and people spend the next thousand years making statues and paintings in her honor, but Elena does it and gets blasted on social media?

Hypocrites

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 45 points 3 days ago

Maybe they're butt babies

[-] Mordred_85@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago
[-] huppakee@lemm.ee 25 points 3 days ago

Could be terms twins, you never know!

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 16 points 3 days ago

She seems fun.

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago
[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 38 points 3 days ago

Yeah, but as a counterpoint duckass

[-] gnomesaiyan@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago

I'll reply with this: five minutes of masturbation can prevent a lifetime of pain and suffering.

[-] Speculater@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago
[-] pixeltree 9 points 3 days ago

My friends keep telling me not to and my parents would be sad. I also feel bad about somebody finding my body

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 17 points 3 days ago

These can all be true. Just very unlikely.

[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Imagine having babies twice from external contact. Like non-penetrative fun times and then forgetting that you can still get pringuante if the semen gets on the outside. Or maybe it leaked out her "as🍑" and down in (/s)?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago
[-] semperverus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I like how everyone is trying to force the adoption idea. You can literally get pregnant from non-penetrative sex if semen comes into contact with the vulva. Which is more likely than adoption for teenagers who think they're being clever, and/or people with strong religious backgrounds who feel shame for what they're doing and trying to get their needs met while skirting around "the rules."

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes but nobody on this site knows how a woman works.

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

To a single 20 year old? Twice?

[-] LodeMike@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

Unlikely, but possible.

[-] hOrni@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago
[-] FelixCress@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

It was a miracle.

[-] answersplease77@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

she adopted her 2nd as a single mom at 20 yrs only...

[-] Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Almost with matching just to ask the real questions

Then get the crypto link reply

this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
378 points (100.0% liked)

Funny

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