421
Anon critiques humanity (sh.itjust.works)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 103 points 1 month ago

Because these are good questions, I'll answer some;

Physically weak

Humans are incredible long distance runners. We did a lot of hunting by "Chase it until it collapses"

9 months/15 years

Our brains take a loooooong time to mature, but it's worth it. We can plan ahead without relying on survival instincts, and we keep making amazing discoveries like fire and clothes

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 93 points 1 month ago

We're basically horror movie tropes

[-] samus12345@lemm.ee 13 points 1 month ago

And while dogs have been bred to be subservient, Cats CHOSE to associate with us, the little psychos.

[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago

Idk about domesticating part

[-] PuddleOfKittens@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

This means prehistoric humans persistence-hunting wolves is canonical to the crazyness2400verse.

[-] reptar@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

It puts the lotion on (?)

[-] oce@jlai.lu 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Great long distance walkers too. With some adaptation time, about anyone can walk about 30 km a day, for weeks. For proof, the tens of thousands of people of all fitness levels walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage every year.

[-] prongs@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago

Proud to say I accomplished that! My dad trained a fair bit. I did like 1 10km walk the week before we started, and I finished the 800kms with no real dramas, except the first day which was a massive climb. After 5-6 days my body was totally accustomed to the task at hand.

(Super irrelevant to the post but it was an awesome experience and I would advocate anyone to undertake it, regardless of your thoughts on religion. I am not religious but did find it spiritual in a way. I did it about 6 years ago and still think about it every week.)

[-] oce@jlai.lu 9 points 1 month ago

Started with Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port to Roncesvalles? Yeah, it's a bit silly to start with the biggest climb of the way, but I know many people do to start from France.

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

and evolution isnt supposed to be perfect. we were not carefully designed.

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Weren't designed at all in in fact.

[-] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 7 points 1 month ago

People think of evolution as needing A+ to pass, when C- is enough.

[-] samus12345@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Heck, D- is. "Did it live long enough to produce offspring? Good enough!"

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] LouNeko@lemmy.world 83 points 1 month ago

>developes precise eyes
>doesn't know where to put the blood vessels
>"fuck it, we'll put them in front of the receptors"
>blood vessels always visible
>"we'll fix it in post"
>actually works out
>MFW they have to add a blind spot for vessel/nerve management

[-] samus12345@lemm.ee 16 points 1 month ago

You mean running the wires in front of the screen isn't the best design??

[-] nectar45@lemmy.zip 68 points 1 month ago

Flexing on those other loser species with my opposable thumbs and ability throw stones

[-] MudMan@fedia.io 49 points 1 month ago

Which, incidentally is about as much intelligence as it takes to "make a difference". Anon is here assuming you need an engineering degree to outsurvive a moose, when all it takes is "hey, if put bad potato underground many good potato come up later".

[-] nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 month ago

You make it sound like discovering agriculture is child's play. It probably was the brightest minds of the day who figured stuff like that out. It was revolutionary. The entire society had to be redesigned around growing enough good potato to get through a winter.

[-] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 1 month ago

Sure, but it doesn't take as much to keep doing it as it does to figure it out the first time, and both are way beyond moose level.

Plus you don't have to be great at it. We sucked at figuring out why you can't just keep doing underground potato in the same place forever and our first few millenia of attempts to solve it were mostly just throwing random crap in there with potato.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 month ago

opposable thumbs to throw stones, big brain to throw shade

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

Also, this whole sweating system is actually very efficient water based cooling. Most land species don't have anything that's even close.

[-] KombatWombat@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago

We spec'd for stamina, which turned out to be a hard counter to the current meta. We also have a flexible diet, fine motor control, excellent heat regulation, intricate vocalizations, and arguably best-in-class intelligence (although neanderthals did have larger brains, and other apes have better working memory).

But we are suffering from our success really. We were able to dominate even with an unoptimized build. So we have things like an appendix and other vestigial structures. Our spines are serviceable for bipedalism but are prone to developing issues and stress points. And our teeth don't last nearly as long as much of the rest of our body without frequent external maintenance. And our young take a very long time to develop, to the point the actual birth happens basically as late as possible without being a guaranteed death sentence for the mother rather than when the child is ready for the world. Also, humans have a tremendously high ratio of penis to total body mass among primates, making you wonder what kind of freak was behind our character creation.

[-] Shayeta@feddit.org 14 points 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere the appendix actually functions as backup storage for gut microbes.

[-] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 5 points 1 month ago

I think thats a thesis that hasn't been properly peer reviewed (though it does have some clinical evidence), which is to say its not widely accepted as a reason for it to exist (but that that may be changing).

[-] Shayeta@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago

Interesting, thank you for clarifying.

[-] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago

Amon is under the impression that humans are designed, so they're not in the smarter half of humanity

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Female specimen bleeds once a month and is plagued by hormonal fuckery that makes life unbearable at times. Emotional regulation: hahaha fuck you. Physical discomfort: yessir. Terrible pain from cramps, hormonal migraines and other such hormone related pains: amazing. Acne, oily hair, skin, smelly sweat and bloatedness when hormones go brrrrr: cool.

Vag-hole too small to squeeze out baby head and will often rip open. If unlucky, female specimen will bleed to death after giving birth, leaving baby without protection and food source. Female specimen only has a very small window to procreate and is most fertile when her brain is the least developed post puberty. When her brain is finally catching up in maturity, her body is starting to regress in fertility and getting pregnant is now a risk to her and the baby. Is somehow blamed and often punished for her biology literally fucking with her from the age of 9 to menopause.

I would fucking love if my biggest problem was that my reproductive organs were dangling between my legs and got a bit hot once in awhile.

[-] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 6 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah, if god shaped us with clay or something, why the fuck did he make women like that???

[-] Nangijala@feddit.dk 9 points 1 month ago

Adam was made from clay. Eve was made from Adam's rib and had the audacity to eat some goofy apple. As punishment, all women were doomed to be in horrible pain during childbirth and since they were made from Adam's rib, they are also a man's property. Religion is so kind to us, lol.

That's one of the many reasons why I am a bigger fan of science. It makes more sense and is impartial. If anything, the laws of nature is brutally indifferent to who or what you are and will fuck you over or bless you at random. I can deal with that.

[-] JennyLaFae 4 points 1 month ago

One of my favorite bits in that story is that rib is a mistranslation of baculum.

[-] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

Lol penis bone.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Gurei@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 month ago

There's a lot of good, but the devs def screwed up with the whole shared breathing / eating tubing. But at least the playing ground is partially even, with other species also at risk of randomly dying from the simple act of food intake.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 38 points 1 month ago

The most screwed up one is the octopus, for some reason that brains are below their mouths so the esophagus goes through their brain. If they eat something too big they can give themselves a concussion.

[-] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago
[-] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's a very British documentary as well isn't it.

Lets just get a dead giraffe and cut it open in order to demonstrate something

That would never happen in the US there'd be too many complaints.

[-] Contemporarium@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

…..what

Maybe in like the 50s lol

[-] AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Best fact of the day!

[-] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 month ago

Omits that critical oxygen intake system overlaps with food intake system that can clog causing death. No redundancy on oxygen intake.

Lots of evidence for not-so-intelligent design.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Binturong@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago

What a great argument against intelligent design and a resounding endorsement of Evolutionary Theory.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Slayan@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 month ago

Technology my dudes 🤙 if you remove our understanding of electricity and fire we go back to the stone age in less than a year.

[-] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

'What a piece of work is a man! How Noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In Action, how like an Angel, in apprehension, how like a God! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?'

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[-] scbasteve7@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The OP kinda used bad faith arguments, so everyone is pointing out ways that humans excel. They have a good point however. Humans are not superior. We are not the best species. Just about every animal, insect, or parasite can kill us or seriously harm us. Our bodies are not resilient, and have about a thousand built in flaws. Our 'intelligence' just creates new dangers that kill us.

Humans are great in many ways, but we do not sit at the top of everything. We are great at what we do and that's it.

Edit: A lot of people aren't too happy with me talking about the human race in the light I did. The point of the comment was not to say humans are trash and weak. It's to say that we excel at many things, but we are still way behind other animals in many other ways. There is no one species that is the best. They all excel in many different and special ways. We aren't the best species.

[-] drosophila 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

A group of fit humans who know what they're doing can kill any animal on earth with sharp sticks.

This includes things like whales and woolly mammoths, which we hunted to near extinction or complete extinction using pointy sticks. Keep in mind that these animals were not only thousands of times stronger than a human, but the environments in which they lived were also completely alien to the one we evolved in. The ocean and the taiga can kill an unprepared human in just a few minutes simply by them existing in it, while the native animals are perfectly adapted to live there.

And despite all that we went onto their home turf and killed them all with pointy sticks.

[-] scbasteve7@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

We're great at what we do, it's true.

That's despite all of our weaknesses. And there's a lot of them.

[-] rockerface@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

Having an all purpose massive brain does make it easier to cover for our weaknesses so they might not be that obvious at first glance.

[-] zout@fedia.io 3 points 1 month ago

Have you ever observed crows? They're very intelligent according to a lot of studies. If you observe them for some time, you'll notice how the intelligence gives them an edge. Basically, crows will try and steal from every other species around. Mostly food, but also other stuff they deem useful.

Now, with that knowledge, observe humans. The early humans also stole stuff from every other species. You could also argue that the most successful humans (in terms of wealth) also tend to steal everything, but that's beside the point, just view those as lagging in terms of evolution.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2025
421 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

6193 readers
644 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS