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Anon sees a happy couple (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] Onionguy@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago

Dude met Pip and Lafawnduh irl.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 12 points 20 hours ago

This is the type of person to say things like "Why can other men pick up females and I can't?" It's so over the top I think it's satire.

[-] naught101@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Think you're underestimating chan life

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago
[-] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 3 points 15 hours ago
[-] moonburster@lemmy.world 28 points 1 day ago

Dating, he's dating while anon is crying and smoking

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 34 points 1 day ago

Answer: staying off of 4chan.

[-] WolfLink@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 day ago

When someone genuinely likes you they will listen to you talk for hours about anything just because they like hearing you be passionate about something.

[-] Earflap@reddthat.com 60 points 1 day ago

Everyone thinks rules 1 and 2 are:

  1. Be attractive
  2. Dont be unattractive

But really they are:

  1. Be a nice person
  2. Dont be an asshole
[-] dandelion 5 points 20 hours ago

also it's probably more important to not be too unattractive - people are focusing too much on the ceiling but they need to focus on the floor

[-] naught101@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Nah. You can't do much about how you look, beyond basic hygene and self care.

You can easily do something about being interested in other people's lives, and being happy for them being happy and commiserating with them when they're sad. The bonus with this focus is it also makes you feel better about yourself in the long run.

[-] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 11 hours ago

You can’t do much about how you look, beyond basic hygene and self care.

That was exactly how I read their comment. Don't worry about trying to reach the ceiling, focus on staying off the floor. Basic hygiene, grooming, caring about yourself.

[-] dandelion 3 points 14 hours ago

I think there is so much you can do for how you look - skin care, hydration, diet, exercise, etc. can radically change the way a person looks - but I tend to agree that personality matters much more. My point is that most people seem to get lost trying to make themselves physically attractive, and incel culture like looksmaxxing seem to fall into that logic as well, but they miss that the bar is lower than they expect. And of course, your point is missed by this community as well - that looks are even less important overall than how you hold yourself and interact, etc. - the mental stuff is the most important. Luckily good diet, hydration, and exercise help with that too!

[-] naught101@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Good points. Agree completely.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Being emotionally balanced and secure about something at all in your life goes a long way to building a character that other people want to be around.

If these terms are meaningless to you and you don't get it, you're not ready for dating.

[-] areyouevenreal@lemm.ee 3 points 20 hours ago

You know I am honestly not so sure. I have seen people who definitely aren't healthy, and probably not emotionally secure who get and sometimes keep relationships. It's a lot more complex than you think. Some part of this is because obviously people with similar issues want to be together, but I think as well that things like physical attractiveness do have a role. It's also the case that being a nice person and being emotionally stable aren't actually the same thing, and often don't go together. In fact to me it seems like people who have issues are actually less judgemental. Some of the worst people are those who have never struggled with anything.

It's like how people have this concept that they either are or aren't worthy of love. I don't think that's even a valid idea to begin with as there is no universal standard for what people want in a partner. Someone either wants you or they don't, worthiness just isn't a large factor.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 hours ago

You're looking at unbalanced relationships. As you say, there are plenty and some even keep going somehow. But they are not really what anyone should aim for, right? We can recognise we are not perfect and still aim high and try to improve. And of course we should probably be supporting our similarly imperfect partner do the same. Teamwork and all that.

The whole worthiness bullshit is self inflicted pain. I had a good friend exactly in that situation, thinking she didn't deserve love because she had cheated in her previous relationship. Took her a few years and the support and love of her friends before she realised that's not how things work at all. Ended up married with a gamer and a kid and opening a boardgames café together.

[-] rabber@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago

But do not confuse being a nice person with being a 'nice guy'.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

It's really be nice to be around. If people enjoy being near you they'll want to do it more and some will want to date you

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[-] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 37 points 1 day ago

I dated a woman much taller than me, and received an unnatural amount of glances at my crotch when we were out in public together.

People are so ridiculous.

[-] NotLemming@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago

I'm tall and a woman. It makes me happy and feel kinda powerful that I could cause this situation and maybe even have since I've dated shorter guys and am oblivious to social stuff.

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[-] Glytch@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

what is he doing that I'm not?

Having self confidence about his passions and being willing to talk about them with someone who might get it the first time. Believe it or not a lot of women like to listen to guys gush about their passions.

[-] Actionschnils@feddit.org 77 points 2 days ago

First of all he wouldnt call a couple "mixed race" I supposse.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

It really betrays a porn addiction when you compartmentalize people and couples by the races involved. It doesn't necessarily mean they're some kind of nazi (but it IS 4-chan so there's a strong chance) but there's a huge amount of racism in society that's just objectification and fetishization.

It's okay to appreciate particular races or features or particular aesthetics in a partner, it's not okay to get hung up on it or fixate on it or get lost in some kind of porn-fantasy for what kind of relationships you look for. It's weird how hard it is for people to find balance and nuance on this topic.

[-] Ganbat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 15 hours ago

It really betrays a porn addiction when you compartmentalize people and couples by the races involved.

Someone's never been to the southern U.S.

[-] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 1 points 13 hours ago

What? My family is proudly mixed race, and half of them think porn is evil.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about and you know it.

[-] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 1 points 12 hours ago

If you aren't saying "mixed race = porn", then I actually don't know what you're talking about.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 34 minutes ago

Then you really, really need to work on your reading comprehension. Not being internet snarky here, if you legitimately got that message I feel like you didn't read my comment at all, or you're deliberately choosing to misinterpret something that most people would understand.

[-] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This reminds me of a time I had people over when my roommates, who happened to be 2 very attractive girls, went out and just secomds after they left, a guy said "How come you get to live with 2 extremely hot girls?!" and I was like "Because I don't say shit like that". Wanna know the best part? His girlfriend was there.

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[-] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago

Probably didn't go in with the idea that the only way she would be interested in similar hobbies was for her to be whipped in some way and just treated her like a person. 🤷🏿‍♀️

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 47 points 2 days ago

Maybe he's out there talking to women instead of hanging out on 4chan smoking weed all day...

Strange how far that gets you.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 20 hours ago

I'd say that 4-channer needs to touch grass, but it probably has a restraining order at this point.

[-] Enkrod@feddit.org 108 points 2 days ago

In my experience: He's emotionally available, interested in her and her experience, actually listening, gentle and honest.

I'm about the fattest, ugliest, loser nerd around and if I can be in a relationship with a succesful, beautiful, adventurous woman, so can anon.

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[-] PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 115 points 2 days ago

It’s hard to say from such a distance, but it may be that he is good at sex and trustworthy. That’s enough a lot of the time. People make things too complicated.

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this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2025
640 points (100.0% liked)

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