Im sure his side of the story isn't warped to make himself seem like a saint and her a bitch. 👍
It's /b, the whole thing is probably made up
And it's actually not a wife but a husband.
fake and gay, confirmed
Fake: Anon has a wife
Gay: Anon wears tight clothes
B- but... But what about the points???
I just got out of a relationship and holy fuck that shit is infuriating. Everyone's gotta side curious what happened here.
Also are you the horse from Bojack Horseman? I'm literally watching S1E6 right now.
What is this, a crossover episode?
She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn't I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
Calculations
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
same
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.
He wanted that for both of them.
He signed both of them up for it. There was a confirmation email and everything.
And he was willing to be at the back. Everyone knows the middle is the best.
Anon is jealous
If true the wife probably wanted some alone time with her boyfriend and her husband ruined it.
How do people marry each other when they can‘t even communicate?
A: People who never experienced it fear loneliness more than they fear death.
B: People change over time, the person you married might not be the same person in 10 years.
Apparently, a lot.
It is weird interacting with those couples too. Sometimes they just play a role with their spouse and have to get away from them to be themselves.
They are as miserable as it sounds.
Why would OP's wife not just sign herself up if she was going to run? Or realise something was off when her partner told her that they'd done it for her. "Hello, I'd like to sign my wife up for this run. Oh no, I won't be participating myself." Feels kind of weird. But this a 4chan post so can't possibly be fake or gay.
Fake: OP can barely get from the chair to the bathroom, no way they're running anywhere.
Gay: OP's "wife" is a their regular pizza delivery person, which is a dude. The friendly banter at the door got weird quick.
if it where true, it would be because she is planning to run with her boyfriend.
This is 4chan so the story is prob missing that their in an active divorce or some shit 💀
Umm yeah very irregular behavior!
☕ hahaha
Fuck off with that ig sexism
Instagram Sexism?
P.S dude, are you aware in which community you're in? This is all about greentexts from 4chan. Stop taking stuff so seriously
My dude check the community info, agreeing with that shit is often sexist/racist.
And anybody with working brain can see how this is sexist...
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Completely out of the loop, how is the coffee cup emoji sexist? I don!'t have or follow Instagram.
Apparently a reference to a game TF2 (no idea) in which one character says "women..." and they both drink coffee and laugh.
☕🥱🤫
Anon fucked up. Anon should have known not to sign themselves up. 100% anons fault.
She can't run for shit, I'd bet. She wasn't running anywhere except to her side piece's house. Point was to be away, the excuse was the 5k.
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
