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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by HawlSera@lemm.ee to c/transgender@lemmy.ml

I'm a transgender woman and like most of our kind, I'm fucking horrified.

The Democrats are blaming us for 2024's lossx

Trump signed an executive order criminalizing our existence

And I've had cis friends turn on me, telling me "People like you should have left children out of it, you've hurt your cause forever!!111!11"

I have no hope for the future, I feel truly and horrifically, cooked.

I just wanna know. Why did this happen? Why does everyone suddenly hate transpeople when Anti-Trans Policies were deeply unpopular as recently as 2023?

Why? Why? Why?

I just want to know, what did we do wrong? What changed? Why is this happening to us? When do the papers come saying they've "corrected my gender marker" or are they just going to drag me off to the camps instead?

I just.. I'm trying to hold it together, and I fucking can't.

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[-] Objection@lemmy.ml 6 points 13 hours ago

It's the same reason we're targeted in the first place and the same reason we were the first target of the Nazis, back then. When things are in decline, people look for someone to blame, and minorities, who are few in number and already seen negatively, make for the easiest target, even if it the furthest thing from the truth. The alternative is to blame the rich, who have the most power to propagandize and shut down that narrative, but the advantage is that it's actually true, which is enough to give it a fighting chance. But what democrats have been trying to say is not that the rich are the reason people are suffering, but that people are not suffering at all. When those are the only two narratives, people are bound to turn to the one that acknowledges their problem, even if it's full of ridiculous lies, it's a doomed strategy.

As for the democrats turning on us, at the risk of reigniting a debate, it's because of trolley problem logic. If a minority group like Palestinians can be sacrificed for the sake of winning an election, then the same can and will be done for any minority group that becomes seen as an electoral liability. The only way for any minority, but especially one as small as trans people, to really achieve security is through solidarity, an alliance of the vulnerable that treats an offense against one as an offense against all. Right now, there might be cis gays watching the democrats blame trans people and thinking that they'll be safe, but that's not guaranteed at all. Since we've been on opposite sides of the debate, I expect you will still disagree with me, but perhaps you can understand where my side's been coming from.

For many people living in safe states (like myself), their vote will not affect the outcome of the election. However, whatever choice is made there (including staying home) will define your political identity and influence your thoughts and actions. Millions of people just voted with the idea, "It's acceptable to sacrifice a minority group in order to win, because it can prevent a worse outcome," and in doing so, they allowed that idea into their minds and allowed their hearts to become more callous. The only surprising thing is that they'd announce their turning on us so soon, when there's not even an election coming up.

[-] Diva@lemmy.ml 10 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

I'm also a trans woman, I don't think you should look for anything specific that went wrong. There was always going to be an out-group to blame for all of societies woes. I've been saying since 10/7 that if we're willing to just accept what's happening there (in Palestine) then it's just a matter of time until normalization of dehumanizing people like that blows back in our faces over here.

The last few years have been revelatory. I lost a chunk of my personal friend group after 10/7, it pushed me to instead more actively connect with other trans people in my locality in person. I've circulated memes to the effect prior to the election and because of that experience I wasn't surprised to see liberals jumping right to blaming trans people for their failures after this election.

Mutual aid and solidarity across impacted groups is going to be important in the years ahead. All we can do is be prepared as best we can and look to our allies and whatever community we can build.

[-] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 12 hours ago

You owe them nothing get out. I'd like to offer my country and my help but is a small town compared to yours.And I do not know if I have the money or the time to help. But I know communities here that will be willing to help.

[-] jsomae@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 day ago

I'm not trans, but I am an ally and the reason for all of this is transparent. You're a scapegoat. But you're not alone, so survive and weather the storm.

[-] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

The Democrats are blaming us for 2024's lossx

Who? Where? When?

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 points 23 hours ago

On Election Night, MANY Democrats who previously had Pro-Transgender positions turned around and went "YOU DID THIS!" to transpeople.

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/democrats-blame-partys-position-transgender-rights-part-harris-loss-rcna179370

[-] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Sadly, transgender people have become an easy scapegoat for rich people to point to and say "this is why you're not doing as well as you think you should. These people are stealing from you." The meme of the rich guy and the plate of cookies is as real as it gets.

By the way that's rich people on both the left and the right. The Democrats are not your friends. To them you're just an easy way to rope leftists into voting for them.

In the article there was a guy who was saying that the Democrats should remember what their values are. But the fact is that the only thing the Democrats value is the power that they have in our government. The gays saw this same dynamic back in the '90s when Bill Clinton was using them to claw his way to the top of the democratic party only to abandon them for the presidency.

This all furthers my belief that the Democratic party needs to fall. They need to be broken and a better party needs to rise up in their place. Once upon a time I thought Bernie could lead that charge but he does not seem willing to do what's necessary. Which is to say completely break with the Democrats and cast them out as being not leftist, not even centrist but neoconservative or perhaps Right Wing-lite. They are now 1970s Republicans.

[-] Zero22xx 8 points 1 day ago

It has been eye opening to say the least, how easily people are whipped up by obvious propaganda, as long as it gives them something to hate.

Even as far away as here in South Africa, I've come across people that have been clearly listening to Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan or some shit; who want to 'chat' about transgender people.

As if it even concerns them in the first place. And as if being transgender is some sort of fad, and not talking about a miniscule percentage of people who are just trying to live their lives without bothering anybody. Because this 'fad' must be happening in some other town from what I can see. With my eyes. While not listening to self important 'gurus' on the podcast or some shit.

I just want to say that it has nothing to do with being transgender and it could've been any easy to single out group. People like to hate and look down on something different that they don't understand in order to feel superior in some way in their own shitty lives.

But I feel like that's empty and useless to say to someone while they're being actively targeted. Like telling a bullying victim to just suck it up because their bully has a bad home life or some shit.

So really all I can say is that I'm sorry this is happening to you. And that I wish there was a way to offer support other than with just words. Like a new country or island where the people are enlightened and not prejudiced, hateful and easily turned by easy to spot slimeballs.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 23 hours ago

As if it even concerns them in the first place. And as if being transgender is some sort of fad, and not talking about a miniscule percentage of people who are just trying to live their lives without bothering anybody. Because this ‘fad’ must be happening in some other town from what I can see. With my eyes. While not listening to self important ‘gurus’ on the podcast or some shit.

That's just it, everyone's convinced that we're running around kidnapping children and returning them in dresses with their PP's cut off, even though that's obviously not happening.

Many of them are talking like there's no difference between being a crossdresser and being trans, with this "I don't care what you do in your own home, but in the ral world you are a man!" nonsense

[-] mat@jlai.lu 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

First of all, in a french eye, the democrats are not really leftists, Sanders would be akin to center left (if I rembember correctly).

Second, I cannot do a lot of stuff for americans but try to get people off of american companies that are swearing servitude to trump (meta and X mainly) and I really fear for all of you and hope you can have a way out (state protection, or fleeing the country (maybe as asile seekers)).

Maybe the solution is that everyone become a transgender man so that you can avoid this shitty rule (they seem to be forgotten by the order (lol))

Edit: small note about why the comment about the US democrats being center left. The main leftist party, the socialist party is also nicknamed the social-traitres (as treason) because each time they are in power, we have aggressive liberalisation of the economy, opposite to their fucking name so for a center left, I would not expect anything better

[-] MoonMelon@lemmy.ml 49 points 2 days ago

Trans people are vulnerable, that's it. You did nothing to deserve it.

When I was a kid I remember being at the zoo during feeding time for gorillas. The zoo keeper was chucking sweet potatoes and other things into the pit. Two gorillas were sitting next to each other, a big one and a small one. The big one got hit on the head with a sweet potato and immediately responded with violence onto the smaller gorilla next to him.

Gorillas are smart, there's no way he thought that the small gorilla was responsible for the yam to the head. But he couldn't attack the one throwing potatoes. That other gorilla was vulnerable and accessible. That's all. I think about that a lot.

Also, same gorilla enclosure where Harambe would be killed years later. It's like "come to Cincinnati, see our pit of cruel metaphor!"

[-] Kit 14 points 1 day ago

That's a beautiful analogy and should be shared more.

[-] MoonMelon@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago

You know what's also funny, the gorillas were different sizes because of sexual dimorphism. Decades later I was at a lecture about animal morphology and the lecturer mentioned that, among primates, humans are actually fairly androgynous. I think about that a lot too.

For all the cruelty we inflict on one another about it, an orangutan probably couldn't even tell you what the fuck we're talking about because male humans don't even have giant cheek flaps. Like the "angle measuring" bullshit that so-called "transvestigators" do would be absolutely hilarious to other primates because we invented this four hour long Voight-Kampff test since males aren't literally three times the size, with a nose like a tomato.

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Trump hates trans people the same way Trump is a Christian.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 23 hours ago
[-] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

I think the point is that he'll do anything to be popular with the people that support him. He doesn't have any values other than wanting to be rich and in charge.

[-] Kvoth@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

You did nothing wrong. This government doesn't work for us. neither Democrats or Republicans. I'm sorry for what you're going through.

[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 35 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Stop thinking it's anything you or the community did, for starters. Fascists need an enemy, someone to punch down on and bond their group around shared hatred of those that are different.

That's what's at play here, to be in the crowd you have to hate, and a lot of people want to be in the crowd because of the price of eggs or whatever.

Oppressing minorities then becomes an easy win for their group, with something as dumb as an "official gender policy" being a major day one initiative.

It used to just be gay identifying people in general, but I think too many of their friends and family came out previously, making that a difficult collective to rally around. And other minorities before this. I'm sorry your community have found yourselves as the scapegoats this time around.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 day ago

The public needs a scapegoat for their problems and the people in charge don't want it to be them. They are doing everything they can to make sure it isn't them and if you are the sacrificial lamb that saves them then so be it. You weren't abandoned, you were chosen.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There will come a time when these people will manufacture a excuse to come after more then the trans community.

The democrats aren't here to save you as is evident by the most recent defense bill, they won't be there to save us later.

We are all on our own, so act accordingly.

SocialistRA.org

[-] Chuymatt@beehaw.org 9 points 1 day ago

Look into the propaganda of Nazi Germany. Really. There needs to be an enemy within and an enemy without. That is trans folks and brown invaders coming in through the boarder.

I am so sorry.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 14 points 2 days ago

I'm really sorry you're made to feel responsible for your own oppression, it's disgusting what people are saying now...

I wouldn't listen to Democrats though, they're a corporate owned party beholden to corporate interests and special interest groups. They can't admit why they really lost so they need a scapegoat and poor innocent powerless people are perfect for that. :(

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago

I honestly thought I was safe, that the GOP's threats were bluster, that they could act on them but they'd fail, because the American people had spoken and weren't going to buy that the "threat was already in their locker room."

I never imagined that people like us would become the villains of the week. I thought that the demonization of our kind was a badly aged cliche of the 80's.... I... I'm honestly wondering if...

My mind's going to dark places, but if I let them go there I'll find places darker still.

[-] atrielienz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I honestly thought I was safe, that the GOP's threats were bluster, that they could act on them but they'd fail, because the American people had spoken and weren't going to buy that the "threat was already in their locker room."<<

So many people keep thinking this. It's every marginalized group. In every single one of them there are people who get complacent and assume they are safe. And then for reasons I don't understand, they vote against their own best interest or don't vote at all. Because some singular issues matters more to them than the issues that are actively hurting their fellow men and women.

I don't mean to blame you when I say this. I mean to explain that it's not you. I have felt this way. I felt like this when Trump got elected back in 2016. I didn't understand how people could vote for him. I talked to several people who were marginalized like me who didn't seem to think he was a threat. Who thought he might even be good for the country.

Trump is an inventive liar, and his charisma appeals to a certain subset of the population who are single issue voters. The message that "only I can help" appeals to some people because it's what people who are overwhelmed want to hear. Because they don't want to have to figure things out. They are already overstressed and they want to pass off responsibility to others.

When you add in the war on education for the last 80 or more years, you can start to recognize that a lot of people just don't have critical thinking skills or they're in such a state of overwhelmed worry that they can't use them.

It's not just one thing. And the vast majority probably didn't intend to "betray" anyone. The system is designed to keep the population desperate so that they don't organize against it.

And people like to assume they're immune from propaganda. They aren't. It's insidious. It's the type of thing you have to actively be on guard for.

As for "friends or family", this may seem harsh, but if they would hurt you in this way they were never your people. Let them go. Build meaningful relationships with other people who you can count on for love and support.

Things are hard and they're going to get harder. We gotta work to get things changed. That's all we can do. The fight is never over.

[-] djsoren19 9 points 1 day ago

The sad truth is that the Democrats were never your friend. They treated your existence as political capital, and betrayed you the second it was inconvenient for them. They are cowards of the highest order who've only ever had the goal of enriching themselves. To some of us, this has been true for awhile, but this was really the election where everyone's taken their mask off.

I would seriously, very strongly urge you to get out of the country while you still can. There is no sugarcoating it; things are going to get bad in the U.S. Even if you aren't subject to government violence, Trump blackshirts just got released back onto the street and have been emboldened by this victory. Hate crimes will rise, just as they rose dramatically during the first Trump term. There will be camps, first used on immigrants but there's no telling when they'll stop. Do whatever it takes to leave. Your survival is more important than any unjust laws.

I can't promise the grass will be that much greener when you leave; fascism is rising across the globe and trans people are an unfortunately easy marginalized community to otherize and attack. At the very least, you might have a chance to stop it taking root somewhere else.

[-] mat@jlai.lu 3 points 22 hours ago

The sad truth is that the Democrats were never your friend. They treated your existence as political capital, and betrayed you the second it was inconvenient for them

I would call this pink capitalism. Same as meta going from period protections inside men toilets to : "trans identity is a mentql disorder".

All in all, you can go back to : "ecology without class warfare is gardening" or "feminism without class warfare is personal developement". Capitalism corupts everything it touches and if you are careless, then you will get alienated

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago

hexbear has the largest trans communities on lemmy; i would ask there.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 7 points 2 days ago

I've had bad experiences with hexbear

[-] Staden_@pawb.social 12 points 2 days ago

If you are interested, lemmy.blahaj.zone is a friendlier place for trans people

[-] davel@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 days ago

I honestly thought I was safe, that the GOP’s threats were bluster, that they could act on them but they’d fail, because the American people had spoken and weren’t going to buy that the “threat was already in their locker room.”

Whatever bad experiences you may have had with hexbear, they at least knew that you & they (and I, as a socialist) weren’t safe. They knew the GOP’s threats weren’t bluster.

Because, unlike liberals, socialists understand fascism. And they know that, when the hour of reckoning came, liberals have historically sided with fascists, because fascism doesn’t threaten the capitalist system.

Gabriel Rockhill:

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

Problem is the last time I used Hexbear I was kinda called every negative cancellable thing under the sun. I may use blahaj though

[-] davel@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

As you like. I think most of them will be as confused by what just happened as you are, though, because most of them are liberals.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

I'm not surprised that the Democrats didn't protect us (They were always doing that begrudgingly)

I'm surprised that the American Public sees erasing my existence as "restoring sanity"

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

then blahaj, like others have said. whatever you chose, i think you need the ears of others in your situation.

this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2025
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