Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.
Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.
This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.
The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.
I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action
This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."
What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.
Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.
I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.
I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision
"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"
"But today is Wednesday"
"I call it third Monday"
"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."
It's 4 PM, Ron.
In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".
In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."
In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."
In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."
This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.
To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.
“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.
I am too burnt out today.
I can't focus on that right now.
I am not functional enough for that.
I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.
Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!
I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that
Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.
"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"
"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"
"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."
I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea
"It's been a long day."
Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.
Then there's me. Who's not smart AND my brain is fried. AMA
*whose
Thank you
Nope, you have it right, it's "who's" in that sentence. You could write "who's not smart and whose brain is fried", but the first one is "who is".
We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)
I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message
I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.
(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)
"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"
It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.
Think no. Brain not good.
I work smarter not harder
"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."
When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"
I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.
Sorry but my burnout quotient is too damn high today. Leave it with me and I'll ponder it while I grab an emergency tea.
If I ever get a fucking office job I'm not doing corpo speak. I simply won't do it even if it gets me fired. Fuck that shit, I'll die in my studies.
"Thank you for your patience"
I've seen
I am at capacity
And
My head is full
People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
RULES:
