By the time RFK jr. is done, the vegetables will have a warning label for Haber–Bosch nitrogen and MAGA will insist their food be grown on untreated human feces.
It is already a well established fact that plants crave electrolytes.
Yeah, but what are electrolytes?
they’re what plants crave
But what is Brawndo?
It's got electrolytes!
But why? Do you even know what electrolytes are?
Who in this day and age wouldn't drink pasteurised milk?
Besides like, properly stupid people, or people who think it'll give them religious powers and other such nutters.
So, RFK?
dad, no!
"Yes, son! I can't fulfill my destiny as Mooman any other way..."
The Meatcanyon videos will be glorious.
Who drinks milk at all? I get a giant zit immediately after having some.
I'm lactose intolerant but I use a little bit of lactose-free, 0% fat milk for my coffee in the morning because the alternatives (almond or oat milk) just don't taste as good with coffee.
Just drink it black. After two cups you get used to it.
The word you’re looking for is dipshits.
Yeah, we've got those who promise themselves health benefits from drinking raw milk. I have the impression that this is mostly prevalent in esoteric people, as usual with such stuff.
But such beneficial claims of raw milk consumption appear to be not scientifically sound and are a myth.
https://doi.org/10.1097/NT.0000000000000108
properly stupid people
I think the best redirect would be to convince them to "self-pasteurize" their milk. You can make an entire ecosystem of grift products on the best home pasteurizers to avoid harmful toxins or whatever the current buzzword is.
Can't wait to hear some idiot say something like "I never get sick from raw milk. I just put the container in boiling water for a few seconds. So much safer than pasteurized."
"It's not that I'm against vaccines, it's just that I want my body's own antibodies to fight off the virus."
Time for killer T cell completion: 10 days. Time for virus to turn your lungs into mush: 4 days.
"Sure thing there buddy! Good luck! Mind if I borrow your lawn mower? I'll get it back to you next time I see you!"
I damn near throttled someone who said that to me. They said the COVID vaccine was too risky, and they'd rather get a real immunity from actually getting it.
They thought the COVID vaccine was more risky than actually catching COVID?
Counterpoint: this would prevent people who can be convinced to drink raw milk from getting listeria
But you could also use it to separate them from their money, which is an even greater good.
Also, it potentially keeps the people in their care who have no agency from getting listeria, which is up there with lining your pockets via virtuous con artistry in terms of moral virtue.
You incorrectly assume the grift products have to actually do anything. Just give them a few lights and a little fan at the back which spins for a few minutes to make it sound like it's doing anything. Can be super cheap to make, it doesn't even need a heating element!
no man, you gotta just let evolution take its course.
More like
I mean, we should have an image of the Germans who applied it to milk, pretty sure Pasteur did it for the booze and some other dudes were like "hey bro we did that same technique on milk and now way less babies die."
Pasteur did it for the booze
Make room Robin Williams, I have another hero for the top spot on my hero list.
My man
I've heard this! Apparently, he was researching why beer was spoiling, and he had done no research on milk whatsoever.
Dear gen Z, raw dog means to fuck without a condom
Dear boomer, words evolve.
The sentiment still applies.
The term has also been further bleached to just mean doing something raw, rough, hard.
So you know the "is this toothbrush approved by the dental association of America" line from Home Alone (approximate transcription)
my new joke is asking "is this milk pasteurized?" in that voice
Raw milk is a disease vector for H5N1 right now, and as been for most of the year.
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMc2405371. (Location for the sick worker in the article: Texas)
Why it doesn’t matter so much for those of us not working directly with cows is pasteurization. In my household, we’ve since switched to ultra pasteurized in the cases we’ve not been doing that already, just to play safest.
The more humans that catch H5N1, the more likely it is to take and make a vector out of humans.
To be fair, it is often good to avoid processing your food. However this does not include the cleaning aspect of that food. Would you suddenly stop washing your fruits and vegetables? Flashing a little heat on the milk for safety is fine. It doesn’t create the milk equivalent of beef jerky or a ritz cracker. If you’ve ever spent any time in a milking barn, among cows, or seen the milking process you might not even drink milk after. You’ll want bacteria and virus death in your milk.
But wait, Zeph, surely this process is only effective for bacteria, we’ve always been taught that the same means of death for bacteria don’t typically work on viruses. (Antibiotics). Pasteurization is it’s own thing.
Edward Jenner floating right next to him going "looks like it's going to get more crowded in the afterlife."
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