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[-] CodexArcanum@lemmy.world 173 points 2 months ago

As a tall man who likes to walk at night, I have long understood that women alone at night do not wish to encounter me. So when I happen to find myself following a woman down the street, I will either slow down, cross the street, or stop and look at a sign or something for a minute to give her some space.

In a dangerous and shitty world, a person has to find subtle and quiet ways to express care, compassion, and solidarity. It costs me nothing to make a woman feel safer.

[-] Eranziel@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago

This is the way, and good for you.

Purposefully making women afraid they're about to get assaulted is abhorrent.

[-] Hikermick@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

While working i am occasionally in parking garages which can be dark and creepy. If i see a woman walking alone I'll try to make some noise like pulling out my keys. People with bad intentions will be stealthy, hopefully they get that I'm not a threat

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[-] spicystraw@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

You da man brother!

[-] glitchdx@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

on the one hand, you're right and I agree with you.

on the other hand, I've got places to be and other people walk so fucking slow.

[-] MXX53@programming.dev 2 points 3 weeks ago

I have similar experiences. I am 6'9" and weight 290lbs. I also have daughters, so I try my best to not be intimidating. Doesn't always work, but at least I can say I try.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 168 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Anon is a piece of shit even if this is just fantasy

[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 107 points 2 months ago

So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.

But like, if you're a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you've got to walk behind a woman at 2am.. it's just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn't have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).

I'm definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it's an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they're about to get raped.

[-] Skua@kbin.earth 46 points 2 months ago

As a physically large man who used to work a job that meant he was walking home late at night in the city, just cross the road to overtake. If you're walking that much faster than the other person, you will overtake pretty soon.

[-] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

Shit, I cross the road to overtake because I'm a smoker and don't want to inconvenience non-smokers with my addiction. Never even crossed my mind that may make people feel safer.

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Thank you. As that vice gets rarer, the impact on other of the smell is worse and worse. It’s not my business if you choose that vice but I appreciate any effort not to inflict it on the rest of us

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

I'm crossing the street because weed is illegal and I want people to think it's tobacco.

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[-] Dayroom7485@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago

If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.

[-] elidoz@lemmy.ml 33 points 2 months ago

just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her

if he takes the same road and she is scared it's more of a she problem since he's just going home

imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what's right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future

[-] AA5B@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.

Even worse, I’m probably walking with my dog, who likes an even faster pace, and she’s a rescue who looks scary and isn’t yet well behaved

[-] wieson@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago
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[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).

Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they're caring for doesn't strike me as someone who is going to attack me.

[-] ChexMax@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you're just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don't usually want to be conspicuous

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[-] superkret@feddit.org 8 points 2 months ago

(maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin)

That euphemism is a lot worse than just saying "black".

[-] infinite_ass@leminal.space 4 points 2 months ago

I prefer "of coloredness"

[-] riwo 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

this doesn't just go on gender lines either. i am tall and broad and probably scare people, especially women, in the dark. i hope my appearance at least protects me from being assaulted as well... no one asks for ur gender, when they see u walking around at night.

[-] papalonian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

I've never even considered this perspective before. It's frustrating enough for guys to get lumped in with shitty guys, but to be a woman lumped in with shitty guys, that's gotta be aggravating as hell.

I'd wager you're probably right, though; you've probably got a better buffer against weirdos than a dainty little flower might.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 61 points 2 months ago
[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 14 points 2 months ago

Or tased and pepper sprayed, at the very least

[-] Walk_blesseD 60 points 2 months ago

It's all shits and giggles until anon ends up in a 'man vs bear spray' scenario

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 51 points 2 months ago

Now its not only women who would prefer the bear. After reading this i also prefer the bear.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

See you on growlr m'dude

[-] A_Wild_Zeus_Chase@lemmy.world 50 points 2 months ago

Can the incels who posted and upvoted this please stop ruining gender relations for the rest of us?

[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 31 points 2 months ago

It's a fucking greentext my guy

[-] A_Wild_Zeus_Chase@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It could be on Sumerian clay tablets my dude, it would still be about threatening rape for amusement

[-] Martineski@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago

Have you ever seen !linkedinlunatics@sh.itjust.works? This community is that (mostly) but for 4chan. Upvotes don't mean supporting this garbage.

[-] prole 3 points 2 months ago
[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

No it just means you have no idea what this is or where you are

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[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

It's not even real get over yourself and leave instead of just insulting random people on the internet. Get a life lol

[-] socialpankakemix 50 points 2 months ago
[-] wizzor@sopuli.xyz 32 points 2 months ago

Back in the day I lived in the outskirts of the city where buses would run rarely. Many times when I arrived home late a woman would also drop off. They mostly reacted in the same way as OP describes.

I tried to imagine having to be afraid like that all the time and it's horrifying. The planet is populated by animals larger and stronger than you who might, or might not behave violently without provocation.

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[-] obstbert@feddit.org 23 points 2 months ago

Anon is a terrible person

[-] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 20 points 2 months ago
[-] superkret@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago

Anon is way above average. He leaves his house.

[-] Yokozuna@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

Anon is fake and gay never happened.

[-] jerkface@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 months ago

gay happens every day, you're just not getting any

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[-] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah they claim to have a job, go outside, and appear physically intimidating.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 2 months ago

Follow-up should be about becoming the manager of a McDonald's and realising that this small amount of authority over people allows you to make their lives miserable.

[-] Taleya@aussie.zone 7 points 2 months ago

I've had a couple of arsehats try this on me.

Unfortunately i grew up in a much nastier neighborhood than they did and have a tendency towards violence i have no problems advertising

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this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
318 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

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