I hope you are able to make the cycle.

Under appreciate them right back. Try to keep work about funding your lifestyle.

I don't know how intense or emotional your job is, so that advice might not be practical. But I do think everyone needs to set boundaries, but also emotional boundaries. Please make sure work isn't wearing you down when you aren't there. Try taking a few minutes to reset after clocking out, and close the door on your work day.

You can't help anyone else if you can't take care of yourself first. That's a really hard position to be in, but you have to do it for your benefit and eventually for his too.

In fact, if I found out my lady wanted me out but didn't flip the switch, I would be pretty upset about the time we lost living in that state. That time could have been spent rediscovering myself or finding my next partner. What a missed opportunity!

I hope it calms down, I cannot even imagine what that must be like. Do you have access to people with experience with this? Support groups, or even one mentor?

I know nothing about psoriatic arthritis but I do know a little about joint inflammation. I read about how an imbalance of omega fatty acids can cause inflammation and after taking a fish oil pill most of the pain went away in my knees. Would that be something you could try?

What I've found that helps me with this is follow through on the worry. For example, maybe I'm worried my boyfriend will leave me, and to follow through on that I think "then what happens?" Well, I would be depressed for awhile, and then eventually get over it. I'll go through the stages of grief for the death of the relationship but I will survive and move on. This Follow Through thought pattern works best on situations you have actual control over in your day to day life.

Another thought is "you can't control everything but you can control how you react to things".

Life doesn't come with a manual, but it does come with an author for its manual.

I like to keep a small size binder (I hate notebooks because I'm very fickle about organization). Like A5 size with some line ruled paper and some grid paper. I keep some in the back for random notes and extra fill. I use dividers, and the very front page I keep a to-do list of things that really need to happen now. The next page are to-dos that i don't want to forget but aren't really critical.

Then I have a section where I keep one page for any major problem in my life. I'll try to do a root cause analysis. "Just keep asking why". Then I'll sort of journal some observations over time until I solve my problem.

These can be as simple as being flustered in the grocery store or as serious as co-parenting problems. You need to know what parts of your life you can control, and harmonize with the parts you cannot.

Then, I have a section of sort of "how-to's". Simple things can make a big difference, like what order works best for me to get myself ready in the morning.... Like start the water kettle before I wash up and get dressed so I can have my coffee while I make breakfast. A lot of these pages will be written (or rewritten!) after I'm ready to throw away my problem solving pages from the other section.

But on a day by day and hour by hour basis, focus on triage. What can you do for yourself and your people that will have the most impact in the shortest amount of time? What can you do that will bring you a little joy, what can you do that will reduce a little irritation? Then do that.

Would you consider trying a meditation app? A medical professional recently recommended "insight timer", which has guided meditations and somatic tracking programs and things.

Just a caution, if you do check it out, it will ask you to start a free 7-day trial for their "plus" version, you have to find the "skip" button, and avoid starting the trial so you don't get charged. I can see how that bit might not be anxiety relieving! But otherwise she had a lot of praise for it. I haven't tried it myself, but I have it ready to go. I'm in a pretty good place at the moment... I hope I remember it's there when I need it.

Oof... Yeah it is hard to deescalate with a person who is primally furious with you. It was probably really scary for them, and it sounds like they might not have been emotionally intelligent enough to handle it. I'm glad you and everyone are ok.

I'm also in software and, yes, depending on what kind of business you're in people often have no idea what they want. Do you like reading? One thing that helped me in those situations is Don Norman's book, the design of everyday things. It helps me get into a big picture mindset.

I don't know anything about it. Can you tell me about what you would want to do there and why?

It's hard but you are doing it. Don't forget to find away to enjoy yourself, is there a friend you haven't talked to in a long time?

I hope you find what you're looking for

This sounds to me like an ADHD cycle of failing to know how to prioritize. Focus on your immediate needs and take this step by step. First, find something to eat. Pasta with ketchup if you have to. Now figure out how to do a round of shopping. Just one. Not how to do them the best way forever, just once poorly to get some easy to eat foods in your house. Step by step.

You might not need to empty out your car to get it fixed.

I've fixed some cars that are between "hoarder" and "they probably live in here". It's not the most pleasant thing, but it's possible.

Damnit that's a great problem to have! 🤤

That sounds delicious, was there a certain recipe you used?