"I don't fucking care, Miranda."
"Hi, Lesbian, I'm Brian."
Beat me to it! I already posted mine before I saw yours haha
Respond super excited, like when you meet someone who shares the same niche hobby than you: "I like girls too! So tell me, what have you found to be the best technic to eat pussy?"
A thespian you say? Why, I was in a production of Hamlet myself!
E tu, brute?
Thespians? Aren't those illegal in 7 states?
"Neat."
What prompted that disclosure? Could she smell the horniness emanating from Anon? Did he, as he noticed she was a woman, give off a vibe like a starving cartoon wolf imagining the main character as comprised entirely of sausages?
I believe he started vibrating 15,000 Hertz. A totally normal response in the presence of all women, not the sign of a weirdo at all.
“I, too, am a connoisseur of fine pussy.”
I respond by hoping I'm a girl in this scenario. Anon forgot to specify.
Yeah this didn't happen because there's literally no reason to bring that up. Unless OP was being creepy which is totally possible given the website.
“Hi, Lesbian, I’m anon.”
'I know'
And I'm married, so I'm kind of asexual (at work), so we're ought to be friends!
It's probably a way for her not to be flirted with. To protect herself. So I'd say something reassuring like that.
"me too"
Final answer
"Hell yeah I like chicks too!" go for a high five
Anon must address her as “Lesbian” for now until eternity, considering that’s all she is.
In this case its a bit different but what i see is that everything is oversexualized but the effect of that is people are actually more lonely because every social interaction you have with anyone who could be a sexual partner automatically becomes strange.
Sorry that you feel obligated to mention this based on your past experiences. I hope our interactions are professional. Please let me know if I step over a line... my jokes are sometimes a little off but never misogynistic maybe a little dark, but I work on it.
With that out of the way ... my Name is Anon, I am happily married. Now.. let's Beginn =]
So, do you pronounce the full name, "lesbian", or do you shorten it to "les" or something?
Hi Lesbian, I'm Anon.
"Well, then I now identify as a woman, girrrrl!"
Oof. That seems inappropriate on so many levels. I think it offends pretty much everyone.
Shrug is the only correct response at work. Or maybe "that's nice" to be more polite.
Is that polite though? I get that it isn't explicitly rude but I pretty much only use that phrase as short hand for "why are you talking about this you fucking weirdo?" I think it's subtly rude at best.
Most politeness is about rephrasing rudeness in a subtle way. What OP's fictional coworker did in this fictional story is explicitly rude as it assumes the worst from meeting a new person, the most appropriate response would be something that is subtly, but noticeably, rude.
If a team lead, sight unseen, just tells you their sexual preference without any context or follow-up then yeah that's fucking weird and they're a weirdo.
Yeah definitely, just saying I'm not sure polite is the right label for a response with that kind of subtext.
You need to say it slowly. "Okaaaay"
Maximum devastation
Or "noted" or just "ok"
This is infinitely funnier if OP is a woman
It's time for anon to drop the classic dad joke
"Me too!"
"Don't flatter yourself"
What's your best pickup line?
"Ma'am, this is a Wendy's..."
"Hi Lesbian, I'm Moss"
Let's compare notes then!
👍
"Oh, that makes sense."
You too..
If this is the US, straight to HR. 🤑
"THAT JUST MEANS SHE LIKES WHAT I LIKE"
tell me something not so obvious
"Me too, let's make out and adopt a pit bull"
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
