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submitted 4 months ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/world@lemmy.world

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and "pureed" in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

Kristina Joksimovic, 38, was found dead in her home in Binningen, near Basel, Switzerland, in February this year.

According to local news outlet BZ Basel, a man named Thomas, 41, had an appeal for release from custody denied by the Federal Court in Lausanne on Wednesday after he reportedly confessed to killing his wife, with whom he had two children.

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[-] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 196 points 4 months ago

BZ Basel also said Thomas was arrested the day after Ms Joksimovic's body was found, and initially told investigators he had found her dead and dismembered her body in their laundry room in panic.

Let those who have not dismembered a family member in a panic with a jigsaw and garden shears before dissolving their pulped body in a bath of acid throw the first stone.

[-] Plopp@lemmy.world 67 points 4 months ago

When you put it like that... Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge.

[-] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 29 points 4 months ago

It was self defense, after all, and one can never be too safe.

[-] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 months ago

Woman must have been an antideluvian vampire to require such extreme measures.

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[-] tiefling 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

There's a documentary on Hulu I highly recommend called The Jinx, about multimillionaire serial killer Robert Durst. One of my favorite lines from him is "I did not kill my best friend, but I did dismember him".

His family owns like half of NYC. Someone I know used to work directly under them and can confirm the batshit runs down the whole family tree.

[-] prole 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

No spoilers, but the very end of that series is absolutely insane. Up there with "Icarus" or "An Honest Liar" as great documentaries that end up having a completely unpredictable twist that changes the trajectory of the film completely.

[-] InvertedParallax@lemm.ee 98 points 4 months ago

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and “pureed” in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

That's, that's a brand new sentence.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 60 points 4 months ago

This is the most psychopathic thing I have seen in quite some time. wtf

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[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 59 points 4 months ago

This story is wild to read, how do you purée someone and still find a body and determine they were strangled?

[-] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago

I mean, considering how some of them can struggle with ice cubes, you'd need one hell of a (consumer grade) blender to effectively get rid of a body

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[-] linearchaos@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago

I suspect he vastly underestimated the scope of the job.

Shopkeeper: Oh, hello Thomas, back already? How was that blender? Not big enough you say? Well how big do you need? A whole large coconut you say?

I found about 66 liters as the volume of the average person. Assuming a regular 1.5 liter blender, that would mean roughly 44 blending sessions. And that's not taking into account the problems you'll have with large bones or bones in general.

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[-] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

The article is unclear about which body parts were dismantled and blended, i assume he just did the arms and legs or something. Which leaves a lot of the body to be found and analyzed.

Basically, if i get this right, he was cutting the body in pieces and blending them one by one, which i assume must be a long process so no wonder he got caught. Honestly if i were to get rid of a body that would also be my plan in its entirety

[-] TheFriar@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

Not to mention hell for your blender. Bones…aren’t exactly “puréeable.” Any blade would get dull pretty fast when going through human body parts.

Some people.

[-] dubyakay@lemmy.ca 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Not for your Vitamix 5200 it ain't! Buy Vitamix™️ today and get 8 years warranty with a 30 day return guarantee! Only $499.99!

tamper holder not included

[-] rustydomino@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Meh. I’m team BlendTec. They’d probably make a commercial for this. “Next on Will It Blend! Fashion models!”

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[-] flubba86@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

"We're here about the homicide. Where's the body?"

"Nope, ain't nothing here except 60 litres of strawberry smoothie".

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 57 points 4 months ago

"the ruling from the court held Ms Joksimovic was strangled to death."

CSI Switzerland must be fucking wizards, man.

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[-] Erasmus@lemmy.world 52 points 4 months ago

Because what sane person, who upon walking into their home and finding a loved one unconscious (or even worse :dead:) doesn’t reach for their blender.

Amiright, guys??

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[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 49 points 4 months ago

What brand was this blender? I would like to know, not because I have any former models that need blending, but because that thing must've been a tank

[-] variants@possumpat.io 18 points 4 months ago

I mean they found a body so I assume it wasn't that great

[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Asking the real questions here. I've got a ninja and I'm pretty sure there's no way I could puree bones.

[-] Aarrodri@lemmy.world 43 points 4 months ago
[-] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 39 points 4 months ago

He did what with the what now!?

[-] spongeborgcubepants@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago
[-] catbum@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 39 points 4 months ago

Because that would sure eliminate the DNA evidence...

A murderer and a moron.

[-] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 months ago

Most of murders aren't calculated acts with an escape plan, a lot of them done in a heat of a situation or under some influence.

This guy probably didn't thought he'd do that and then panicked, couldn't manage to find any other way to get rid of the body but using a blender he usually used to smash vegs and stuff.

Other ways of life could've probably lead him to another tool or method he is comfortable with in his day-to-day life, but his first thought was a blender.

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[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 23 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

They quoted the word "pureed" which means there was butter and potato starch involved

[-] Professorozone@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

That's better. I was afraid he was just gonna chop her up. But having her as some portion of a meal... So much better.

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[-] moon@lemmy.ml 22 points 4 months ago

The start of the headline lured me in for the biggest WTF moment I've had in ages. I'll be sweating bullets the next time I see something about a former model/Miss-Wherever

[-] Seleni@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

People following the story of a former Olympic runner: First time?

[-] HEXN3T 22 points 4 months ago

What. The fuck.

[-] Cataphract@lemmy.ml 21 points 4 months ago

My mind couldn't contemplate the title when I first read it. I thought this was some sort of AI art or deep fake "blender" program that he was selling nudes or vids of her that he had constructed.... the whole actual person being put into a blender just didn't even compute.

[-] PlexSheep@infosec.pub 6 points 4 months ago

I was so confused at the title too. What does being "pureed" in blender animation software even mean?

Why do people suddenly call a mixer a blender? Isn't "blend" related to light? English makes no sense.

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[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago

What the fuck bros

[-] Dremor@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

Poor girl...

[-] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago
[-] Siegfried@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

That is the question

I did not expect to read "Blender" and "Model" in this context ever.

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[-] gencha@lemm.ee 13 points 4 months ago

And it was a hand blender even. Wow

[-] somebodysomewhere@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

Wow is right. That man probably voided his warranty if he blended her feet.

[-] FangedWyvern42@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Jesus fucking Christ.

[-] TheBlue22 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

What the actual fuck? No jail for this motherfucker, just throw him into a vulcano

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

MBS gonna hire this guy

[-] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago
[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 months ago

This is human smoke. Don't breathe this.

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Um, so did they say what blender it was?

[-] Lumisal@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago
[-] billwashere@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Is that your friend in the woodchipper there, heh?

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this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
315 points (100.0% liked)

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