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submitted 4 months ago by salvaria to c/til@lemmy.world

So the tailor doesn't touch your penis when they're measuring you

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[-] confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 114 points 4 months ago

This feels like satire? A site called real men, real style with an article about penises?

[-] FireTower@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

The site it self isn't satire. They've got a YouTube channel w/ 3.5 million subs.

[-] salvaria 10 points 4 months ago

You know, I recognized that too, but what I really needed was for someone to tell me what "how do you dress" meant ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[-] Obi@sopuli.xyz 8 points 4 months ago

I'm more curious which leg he puts it down in, in a fucking kilt.

[-] Taniwha420@lemmy.world 89 points 4 months ago

No, they're not worried about joggling your junk. It's because you need something like an extra half inch in the seam on the side you dress on to leave a little extra room in your pants for your dick. Well-tailored pants are asymetrical. Not sure those of you who wear briefs need to worry about it.

[-] RaoulDook@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

This seems like a good place for a joke about hanging dong. Podcasts about how the distinguished gentleman may properly hang dong in tailored slacks, let's go with that

[-] salvaria 12 points 4 months ago

I don't have the equipment to know if this is true or not, but it seems smart to ask the person you're fitting so that you don't accidentally grope them

[-] Taniwha420@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

I think you're telling me you're a woman. I want to point out that seeing a tailor is a non-sexual experience. I'm not sure I've ever been to one, not even a female tailor, who HASN'T made incidental contact with my genitals when checking fit, particularly in-seam. It's a far cry from being "groped". It's a bit like imagining a lingerie specialist worries about touching someone's boobs, or that a doctor gets worried about seeing someone naked.

[-] TammyTobacco@lemmy.ml 11 points 4 months ago

This is the right answer. It's so if you're wearing tightly tailored pants you have some dick space so you're not imprinting and showing it off to everyone.

[-] wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works 78 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Let me translate this old joke from Coluche....

It's the story of a guy who is constantly living with migraines. He goes to the doctor for the tenth time and says "doctor I can't take it anymore, these migraines are ruining my life!", so the doctor prescribes him some medication and says "listen, these are the last resorts.... If they don't work, there's really only one thing we can do, and it's to chop off your dick!", "chop off my dick?? I sure do hope these meds work!!". The guy returns home and starts taking the meds. But months past and the migraines persist. He can't take it anymore, so he goes back to the doctor and says "doctor, I've had it, I have no life, it will be better to live without a dick than not to live at all", "very well, let's get it done!". And so the doctor chops off his dick! Months past and the guy's migraines are completely gone. He's so happy, he finally can live a somewhat normal life. After months of success, he tells himself "I think I should celebrate! Let get ourselves a nice suit!". So he goes to the tailor, and the tailor asks him "sir, tell me, which way do you hang?", obviously the guy replies "oh you know, it is of no importance what so ever...", the tailor exclaims loudly "are you mad? It is of the upmost importance sir! If it hangs on the wrong side of the pants, you'll end up getting constant migraines!!"

[-] salvaria 5 points 4 months ago

Thanks for translating!

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[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 66 points 4 months ago

The average penis according to multiple studies is between 5.1" and 5.2" long erect. The average penis also grows up to five times in size when erect. I don't think the problem posed in this article is something the average man needs to worry about.

[-] ChexMax@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago

This took me a second to understand (it's 4AM) and for a second I was like wait, this cannot be correct. No one is walking around with a 25 inch penis. Then I got it

[-] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 12 points 4 months ago

Lol right? That's absurd. Mine's 15" like normal.

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[-] victorz@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

So the average penis is about 1" flaccid?! That's gotta be a global average. Not in my parts, I'll tell you that. Not in the local gym showers at least (my only source of data).

[-] DudeDudenson@lemmings.world 5 points 4 months ago

Some people are showers some people are growers, plus it'd be totally different if it was freezing cold in your gyms changing room

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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 36 points 4 months ago

Down the leg? I wrap it around my waist

[-] SoleInvictus 23 points 4 months ago

I curl mine up like a butterfly's proboscis.

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago
[-] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

If you bend the tip just right, it can act like a pogo stick

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 15 points 4 months ago

I throw mine over my shoulder and wear it like an ammunition bandolier.

[-] meep_launcher@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago

Like any proper gentleman.

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[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 34 points 4 months ago

Show-er problems.

[-] jimp@lemm.ee 32 points 4 months ago

It’s not supposed to just sit there like an acorn attached to the bottom of my torso?

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[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 20 points 4 months ago

Why in god's name would you choose to put it down a leg‽ That shit will give you the worst rug burn imagineable if you happen to take your pants off too fast or fall in a split or just sit down on your pants in a weird way where they pull against you if you try to shift in the wrong way.

[-] delirious_owl@discuss.online 14 points 4 months ago

Wut. You put yours up so that it pokes out the top?

[-] ramble81@lemm.ee 31 points 4 months ago

One of the perks of being a grower. Don’t have to worry about that.

[-] SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world 20 points 4 months ago

Yeah that thing goes into fuckin STANBY MODE ME BOIIIIIII

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 17 points 4 months ago

Optimized for slapping it down on tables to assert dominance.

HR doesn't let me attend meetings with clients anymore...

[-] Noodle07@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Let's all be honest, slapping in on a table is funny as fuck

[-] Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

HR is too kind... to let you have a job.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Boxer briefs keep it nice and snug. Also the number of times I've twisted a fucking nut sleeping in boxers or naked... Ugh. Never again.

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[-] bizarroland@fedia.io 17 points 4 months ago

Both legs at the same time, like any normal person

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[-] cheeseburger@lemmy.ca 16 points 4 months ago

Around here tailors say, "which way do you hang" (or they used to, it's been a while) and it's because extra room is required in tailored pants. Generally junk at rest prefers one side to the other.

[-] BorisBoreUs@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

It was, "Which side do you dress to?" around here. Especially if i was a woman doing the measurements for the tailoring.

[-] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

It's always up and in a karate stance, good sir.

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 13 points 4 months ago

Please do touch my penis when measuring me

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 4 points 4 months ago

Well you won't let me measure it by looking at it.

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[-] OccamsRazer@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago

Interesting idea, because my boxer briefs support my balls in the middle, but my dress pants have one seam down the middle, so when I sit for prolonged periods I get a seam uncomfortably squishing my equipment. If instead the seam was always resting to one side or the other, I wouldn't have that problem. To fix this, we should either have underwear that better accommodates a middle seam, or my preference would be pants with a built in pouch similar to underwear. It would accentuate the "bulge", but we could get used to that.

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[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago
[-] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 months ago

I don't understand the chart in this article about body type vs. underwear style. It doesn't relate to the question that it's located directly under, and it makes no attempt to explain why, for example, thin men shouldn't wear boxers.

I can't tell if this article is AI generated or just rushed out by someone trying to meet a quota.

[-] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

I'm not even sure there were any men involved in writing this I typically have my thing pinned upward to avoid rug rash and boners turning my leg into a codpiece

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[-] scott@lem.free.as 11 points 4 months ago

That article is terrible.

Magnetic penises??

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[-] dogslayeggs@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

There's a scene in a 90s comedy about that where the tailor asks which side he wears his pants on. The main character looked very confused until his friend explained it.

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[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

TIL I responded incorrectly to the command "Dress right: DRESS!" in formation.

[-] creditCrazy@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Did people just forget about boners like when that thing gets hard it goes up and if it's sheethed in a pant leg boy is that gonna hurt not to mention rug rash

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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
216 points (100.0% liked)

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