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Help me out here (lemmy.world)
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[-] ving_thor@lemmy.world 146 points 5 months ago

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

[-] genuineparts@infosec.pub 37 points 5 months ago

If i said you have a nice body would you take off your clothes and do a little dance?

[-] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago

"I am no longer infected!"

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Bouncy bouncy

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 months ago

If you throw some money at me I would

[-] dalekcaan@lemm.ee 34 points 5 months ago

Remember Kif: the fastest way to a woman's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.

[-] DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 110 points 5 months ago

Idk why but censoring R*ddit is way funnier than it should be

[-] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 51 points 5 months ago

Oh it's reddit? I thought it was censoring out a name of a planet.

[-] kionite231@lemmy.ca 7 points 5 months ago

Huh I thought it's a country name.

[-] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 5 months ago

Given the image, I first thought it was a sci-fi planet.

[-] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 1 points 4 months ago

It makes it funnier because it implies that earth women are a dead end for this gamer

[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

I prefer Re***t

[-] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

It’s the most ****it sentence over ever read

[-] lauha@lemmy.one 101 points 5 months ago

If by immediate you mean in govermental decision making scale i.e. couple of weeks or months then I once saw a guy being an actual decent person to be around without expecting anything in return and he had no problem getting around.

[-] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 79 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Nah. You see I stay in my room 23 and a half hours a day. What I would prefer is if they could be Lured to my room and then I say the thing and then we plow. Like your plan is good but I dunno. At a minimum, how long would this plan require me to be outside of my room for?

[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 26 points 5 months ago
[-] Technus@lemmy.zip 18 points 5 months ago

Well shit, that's a non-starter then.

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 months ago

Better order something inflatable then, it will probably be more accommodating, and I suggest you order a wide selection and some repair kits just to be sure.

[-] Ithral 15 points 5 months ago

Become a trapdoor spider, and leave a basket of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards outside your door as bait?

Step two say ????? No idea what really. Maybe cross your fingers you have a shared interest and the whole kidnapping thing isn't a big deal.

Step three be in a relationship, and probably learn to leave room more often.

[-] Sop 78 points 5 months ago

Maybe start by not referring to them as ‘females’ or talking about ‘luring’ them to your room

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 62 points 5 months ago

TIL: there is such a thing as a stupid question.

[-] MTK@lemmy.world 46 points 5 months ago

I heard that showing her how unfair it is that just because you are nice no one wants to sleep with you, is the best way to make her sleep with you out of obvious obligation to your nice personality and unjust fate

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 16 points 5 months ago

Also in this context being weird and shy counts as nice. You don't actually have to make any effort!

[-] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

And you simply must begin and end every sentence with uWu, obviously.

[-] CookieOfFortune@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

Well maybe they’ve gotten enough nice points they can turn them in for one sex?

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 points 5 months ago

Of course! They showered last week and everything!

[-] Coskii 35 points 5 months ago

I used to know one who would go for "here's $100", though that was many many years ago and I don't know if she still lives that kind of life. I haven't kept up with anyone from high-school, much less friends of friends.

[-] muzzle@lemm.ee 24 points 5 months ago

No clue, but I would start by not referring to them as females, just a hunch.

[-] Dasus@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago

"Hi, I'm Gabe"

[-] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 16 points 5 months ago
Han shot first
[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 months ago

You don't have to say anything, just show them the sweet skills you've developed while studying the blade.

[-] ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org 15 points 5 months ago

"$3 million/year, 1 night/week."

[-] prayer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

~150,000/night is a hefty cost.

[-] ArcticAmphibian@lemmus.org 10 points 5 months ago

To betray one's own heart in the interest of profit, such a cost is fair.

[-] random_character_a@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

ever been married?

[-] roguetrick@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

John Madden. Football.

[-] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 6 points 5 months ago

There's one in the Austin Powers movies with a funny scottish accent.

I don't think he's not a gamer tho. "Dead sexy" funny guy nonetheless.

[-] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago

I believe his pick up line was: "Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back."

He had other lines the ladies love like:

"First things first. Where’s your shitter?! I’ve got a turtle head poking out!"

[-] zea_64 2 points 5 months ago

Fat Bastard?

[-] Senseless@feddit.org 5 points 5 months ago

This is semi unrelated, but I think still somewhat fitting. There's this one guy in our festival group that sometimes is away, no one knows where he's at but chances are high, he's fucking someone. He's that kind of guy, that ladies fall for when he drops lines like "hi, I'm (redacted) and how do your pants open?"

If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't believe it.

[-] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

The prequels were better

[-] Bertuccio@lemmy.world 1 points 5 months ago

Well, actually...

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2024
410 points (100.0% liked)

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