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[-] Hildegarde@lemmy.world 98 points 7 months ago

If ur 30+ you can have romantic moments with women, which is nice.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 69 points 7 months ago

Don't limit the guy. He can have romantic moments with men, too.

[-] Hildegarde@lemmy.world 48 points 7 months ago

Regardless of gender, your 30s is a perfect time to date cute single people who just finished their first divorce.

[-] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 36 points 7 months ago

Romance is different when you're both old enough to have so much life experience under your belt. It isn't the same. Not saying it's better or worse, but it's absolutely different.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

Sometimes I have romantic moments all on my own.

[-] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 88 points 7 months ago

Well, if anon thinks he is too late at 30+ years, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

[-] PanoptiDon@lemmy.world 58 points 7 months ago

I don't know if this helps, but I didn't meet my wife until I was in my forties. You have time.

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

But I'm guessing she wasn't your first relationship?

[-] PanoptiDon@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Correct, but the other ones sucked

[-] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

What d about fifties? Asking for a friend ..

[-] Azzu@lemm.ee 8 points 7 months ago

Obviously you are completely alone in your fifties being single, everyone else is in happy relationships.

If the sarcasm wasn't clear, it's literally never too late.

[-] ClockworkOtter@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

I had a friend during nurse training who divorced at 50, thought she was never going to be in another relationship, then met someone with whom she was happier than she ever imagined.

It's definitely possible.

People can get married to the right person in their 20s or 30s, change into different people, split up and find that someone else is now the right person.

You also get access to a much larger widow/widower market once you pass 50...

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

As @Num10ck@lemmy.world said: it's never too late to start being lovely.

As long as you're alive and capable of communicating, it's possible.

[-] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

As long as you’re alive and capable of communicating

...here we go with the impossible standards.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

What can I say? I'm high maintenance 🤷😁

[-] PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

It's never, never too late. I've seen men aged 60-75 get GFs and wives. One of them even had children with his new wife. Talk of the town is that one of these men never had a partner before.

[-] Num10ck@lemmy.world 48 points 7 months ago

its never too late to start being lovely

[-] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 39 points 7 months ago

At 30+ my romantic relationships are far more personal and romantic then any relationship I had in my 20's...

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

Well you had relationships in your 20s though?

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 34 points 7 months ago

No-one expects their dick to just drop off on their 30th birthday until it happens.

[-] pkmkdz@sh.itjust.works 33 points 7 months ago

Nothing triggers my depression more than seeing happy couples

[-] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

It takes a lot of work and compromise. You are getting one glance at a lifetime.

I got married sorta recently. My biggest hold-up was the fact that the most optimal outcome of marriage was this: I was going to spend the remainder if my life making them happy, always being there, and being an essential part of their existence, and when they need me most, in their golden days, near the end, they're gonna have to hold my hand and watch me fucking die.

I told them this before I proposed, and the crazy thing was, they were still all for it.

[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 28 points 7 months ago

If you insist on it being a girl, then yeah, it's too late. Adult relationships have their own brand of sweet and romantic.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago

30 is too old to date a girl, yes. Not too old to date a woman though.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Yup, my brother married a wonderful woman when he was in his late 30s. They've been married >5 years and they still seem happy.

I've known people who found love much later as well. It's never too late OP.

[-] rwhitisissle@sh.itjust.works 11 points 7 months ago

It's a bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is that some people just aren't meant to be loved. I think accepting that is, for some people, a bit part of growing up and becoming a more mature person. You gotta stop being envious of others who possess something you never will and just kinda...get on with your life. Find a cause you care about. Put your energy elsewhere. Maybe stop watching romcom anime.

[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

A big part of the problem is that society as a whole took upon itself to ridicule these people are just aren't meant to be loved.

[-] rwhitisissle@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

I don't know if that's a part of the problem or just a separate problem altogether. We expect people to partner up, when we should normalize people being alone. When people don't or can't, we might be hardwired in our monkey brains to see them as outcasts from the group.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm 38 and supremely pathetic in the eyes of society. I've just accepted that I'm entirely undesirable and live how I want to, or at least live in the way I'm allowed to. In a way I've turned into my parents where I find myself saying "life isn't a fairy tale" to people kinda often lol there is no "someone for everyone."

Love is for other people.

Homeownership is for other people.

Career enjoyment is for other people.

Retirement is for other people.

It is what it is.

[-] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago

I'm not completely discounting the possibility you're right, it is possible you're just very unlucky, but your line of thinking is pretty consistent with people suffering from depression, and depression tends to make you make decisions that make you stay depressed.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 5 points 7 months ago

I could see that. I've been in that state for over 20 years now so "depression" just kinda became "normal."

[-] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Not for quite as long, but I've been there my friend.

I don't know how to tell you how to alleviate depression, but I can say that if you manage to, things may look drastically more hopeful afterwards. When you're really truly depressed, the idea that things can get better just doesn't make sense. You can't trust your ability to judge that though because when you're depressed the part of your brain you need for that just isn't working right. It's not capable of telling you whether normal happiness is possible, you no longer have the tools you need to judge things accurately.

If you're like I was, your depression also tells you that you are special in that the ideas that work for a lot of people who go down a path of trying to get better just wouldn't work for you and it will take any minor setbacks as proof of the same. Your depression isn't exactly lying to you, it's just stupid and it's not qualified to determine that.

I'm pulling for you.

[-] zbb@lemmy.ml 3 points 7 months ago

Is there something that is (or could be) for you?

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 5 points 7 months ago

Chocolate. Definitely chocolate. :P

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 10 points 7 months ago

Everyone complaining about the gross vibes of the post, which like yeah, true. But also even within the framing of the post itself it's just bad. The second and third lines are basically "realise X". The third line adds nothing of value to the original OP's intent.

[-] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 29 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

What gross vibes?

Don't lump the guy in with incels. He's not blaming other people for his problems, or complaining. He's just lamenting. I don't see anything in his post that's gross. Leave a lonely dude alone. God forbid he let himself feel sad for 5 seconds.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 1 points 7 months ago

Sure, but why are you directing that at me? The point of my comment was to point out that that wasn't the main thing of note in the OP.

[-] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I take you at your word that that was your intention, but it doesn't read that way. It comes off with a tone of mockery and hostility.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 1 points 7 months ago

The tone was like that mainly because it was being dismissive of what was already the majority of other comments in this thread. It was essentially "hey, you guys are all saying this, but here's another perspective."

[-] Hemuphone@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

You're literally the only person talking about "gross vibes" I can see in this thread. And you said "yeah, true" which to me indicates that you also think there was something gross about the post.

Might be related to some fediverse defederation stuff.

[-] Zagorath@aussie.zone 1 points 7 months ago

Here are some of the comments I was referring to:

All I was doing was saying yeah, they raise a good point, but not the main problem that I noticed with this post, which is just that it uses the meme format badly.

[-] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

It feels a little ridiculous that we've gotten 6 comments deep into this, but...

None of those comments make any claims about poster. 2 of them are pedantic jokes in the "Can I use the bathroom?/I don't know, can you?" school of ignoring colloquial usage, and one is what I assume is a well-intentioned legitimate caution about not getting caught in a cyclical spiral of self-defeatism.

As to the meme format, a green text can be anything from an epic 50+ post story about faking an IT job, to a single line about hating one's name, to threatening a cartoon cat, so I'm not sure what template format it's violating. If you don't think it's particularly well-written or interesting, that's fine of course, but just say that.

[-] chocosoldier 9 points 7 months ago

I spent most of my 20s alone, and met the woman I married at age 33. It's never too late.

[-] d00ery@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Meh, it can be easy to feel like that. But take a moment to look at all the songs, movies, poems, and books about people who felt this way since the begining of time and know you're not alone :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovoBi3pXD_A

[-] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

He needs to switch from romance animes to hallmark romance Christmas movies

[-] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

decide to write a manga

this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
314 points (100.0% liked)

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