Just as the ducks at the park are free, there is also no legal requirement to answer the phone in particular way. Hit folks with a, "Ahoyhoy", "Howdy", "Whats good brother?", or for the more adventurous, "Ralphs Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it."
"Dave's pizza and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce" is a particularly spicy one I've heard.
"You rape em, we scrape em"
(I do not condone this message)
I usually get people with: “Anons Morgue: you kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.”
In my family it was variations of "Hello, Joe's whatever. Insert rhyme here."
One of my favorites was "Joe's mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em."
My dad's go to is "Joe's Bar and Grill, this is Grill speaking". Sometimes he'll shake it up and answer as Bar instead
"You bag 'em, we tag 'em"
Snackbar Harry, Harry speaking
"Duffy's Morgue, you stab em we slab em."
Moshi Moshi
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that's why it's used. Apparently it's also just a casual way of saying "I'm ready to talk" and was used by early telephone operators in Japan. It's most likely people just ended up copying the phrase from operators and aren't worried about being tricked by foxes.
Mosh moof
Fuck, I can't do it, they're right!
Better luck next time, nine-tails.
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that’s why it’s used
Evil spirits can not say the same word twice in a row. Foxes can not say "moshi". With "moshi moshi" you get a 2-for-1 special.
Japanese people answer their phone like that, everything is fine.
I answer my phone like that, I'm branded a weaboo for the rest of my life.
I love the fact that Burns answers the phone this way. Subtle jokes like this are the reason why The Simpsons is infinitely rewatchable.
slow heavy breathing
open mouth chewing on potato chips "Yeah?"
"TIMMY, put those down!"
[child shrieking in the background]
Edison was a cunt.
Funny thing: "Hello" was actually not a common greeting until that point.
I've always been curious how people greeted each other before "hello". Did we just say "good day" and variations thereof?
Most English speakers actually used "wazzup" like those Budweiser commercials
opens phone, "...moshi mo..." infinibonked for weebery
Had to look it up, and the story is actually really interesting. Heres a great article from NPR
https://www.npr.org/sections/krulwich/2011/02/17/133785829/a-shockingly-short-history-of-hello
Ahoy hoy
Excellent
Ahoy, guys.
Be the change you want to see in this world, don't let Thomas Edison continue to shit on everything from his grave.
my go-to when im forced to answer unknown callers is "who is this?". then i disconnect if they dont answer my question
"Who dares to disturb my slumber?"
spoiler
asdfasfasfasfas
To me it sounds like OP's opener is exactly for people who aren't contacts saved in his phone. It sounds perfect to me
spoiler
asdfasfasfasfas
20 years ago, yes
These days, the only people who call me are creditors (who aren't supposed to) and scammers
Let's compromise!
Alloy.
Or what we can agree on: HO. Omg Santa was right all along.
Great, now I'm fighting metal dinosaurs.
Imagine Edison trying to patent the "hello" greeting to get royalties every time someone answered the phone.
Then the incel fanbois defending Edison, insisting he invented the term 'hello".
When I see a post like this, I see a new friend.
Fuck Edison you idea stealing cuck.
Holy shit, the Captain had it right all along!
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