Vikings had horns on their helmets

I like to believe that dinosaurs (especially stegosauruses) had lovely singing voices, because its nice and doesn't hurt anybody.

That Napoleon was short

Spartans were a dominant military force. They were actually kind of a shitty military force who was really good at PR.

The Spartan Hegemony only lasted 30 years, and only because they kind of glory-hogged the aftermath of the Greco-Persian war after nearly losing the war due to their refusal to muster.

George Washington had wooden dentures.

I learned it from Day of the Tentacle and even if I know now that it isn't true,it still pops into my mind everytime someone talks about him or dentures.

That Ben Franklin said beer is proof that God loves us

Padeira de Aljubarrota killed 7 Castillians by cooking them in her bakery's oven in 1385.

Brites de Almeida das born in 1350 with 6 fingers in each hand, a though lady, could easily kill a man with her hands (and did it a few times), was kidnapped and enslaved in Northern Africa, managed to escape with her bare hands, helped out 2 other Portuguese guys to escape, stole a boat, sailed back with the guys, had a prob with one of them, killed him. Tried to establish herself in a honest way, but crime and murder were always coming her way somehow, ended up moving towns and disguise herself as a man. Met and older lady friend, a baker, that wanted to maker her an honest person. They lived happily as a couple. Older lady dies, she inherits the bakery. Castille tries to occupy Portugal, big battle, Portugal is outnumbered but manages to have a spectacular win. Some castillans are running around and looting. She lures 7 into her bakery, cooks them alive in her oven. Forever a national hero and legend.

Nothing of this is proven, including the Castillans she killed (which is the factoid that made her a hero) but there're even songs about her and whenever Portugal plays against Spain in football you'll see some people dressed as a baker on the stadium.

A lesbian serial-killer who escapsed enslavement to kill Castillans in one of the most important battles of our history? To me nothing can be truer than this, independently of what you can prove or not.

• Jewish slaves build the pyramids.

They were build by Egyptians, probably out of loyalty to the pharaohs.

• Columbus discovered America.

He never reached the mainland. He didn't go any further then the Caribbean Islands.

Bush did 9/11

Hobby Lobby hired ISIS to steal the Epic of Gilgamesh

"Poor artists imitate, great ones steal"

I have no idea who actually coined this, but I heard once that it was Mark Twain. I'm pretty sure it wasn't, but it sounds like something he'd say and attaching his name to it actually helps convey the message and its tone, so fuck it, Mark Twain said that.

Albert Einstein did badly at school

Current flows from positive to negative

The thing about the Pythagorean Theorem and having to cut your tongue out to join the cult that teaches you, so that you can't just blab it all over town. I teach physics and I love to play it up!