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[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 43 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

For every 10 full size snickers you collect, I give you one loose m&m.

I also put a couple of your siblings up for adoption right before Halloween to let you know you're expendable.

If it bothers you, you can always go talk to your mom, who empathises, so that you feel good enough to get back to collecting ~~my~~ our candy. But she will immediately come tell me everything you said.

You ungrateful worm... After all I've done for you?

[-] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

Did you mean to say that the mom is empathetic? Because emphasising has a different meaning.

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[-] Akareth@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

You forgot to take away 1/3 of the loose M&M after giving it to them.

[-] woodenskewer@lemmy.world 33 points 6 months ago

Additionally, if your bucket handle breaks, you need third party software and hardware to create a matching digital signature to replace the handle.

[-] woodenskewer@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago

If your bucket does not have an internet connection, it has no bottom. It is merely a tube.

[-] lud@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago
[-] secret300@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 6 months ago

Why does this frighten me to the core. A donut is a tube, it makes sense but I hate this knowledge

[-] lud@lemm.ee 2 points 6 months ago

Depends on how you see it, a hole or a tube. I prefer a hole.

A common joke is that a topologist can't see the difference between a donut and a coffee mug because you can mould a mug into a donut (assuming it has a handle).

"Sorry son, little Johnny across the street is willing to go trick or treating for only two pieces of candy per hour, so I'm taking him instead."

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 14 points 6 months ago

Based. Also teach em to share the buckets so they can distribute the candy democratically.

[-] EatATaco@lemm.ee 14 points 6 months ago

This is like the level of the boomer meme about teaching kids about taxes.

[-] fd_nomad@feddit.de 15 points 6 months ago

I think it's meant to be a parody on the boomer anti-socialism meme

[-] sibannac@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

The cycle remains unbroken.

[-] ReallyKinda@kbin.social 12 points 6 months ago

you only get to trick or treat on the property you own

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 11 points 6 months ago

libertarian Halloween is shit!

[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

And the candy is all homemade from raw ingredients made in unregulated factories...

[-] nxdefiant@startrek.website 2 points 6 months ago

Ah, so the kids take the good candy home from work and package the rest for sale. Bastards.

[-] C126@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 months ago

Teach them about statism and tell them you own the bucket and all the candy they gathered and all the candy all their friends gathered. Give them a welfare of a few pieces of candy you gathered. Then tell them to go gather more candy otherwise they're grounded.

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 8 points 6 months ago

It'd be more correct to say that they all own the totality of the candy gathered, because they share the bucket, and as such can democratically allocate the candy.

[-] C126@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 months ago

I like this, I felt like I learned your view better. Unfortunately I'm an individual not a collective. I own my own body and therefore I own the fruits of the labors I endure. I dont think this theoretical democratic "they" should have any say over my body or the products I generate with my efforts.

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago
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[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

Will you pay them to collect the candy too?

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 44 points 6 months ago

Sure. Out of the 50 pieces gathered by 5 children, each will recieve 1. The owner of the bucket needs to be compensated for their risk, after all!

[-] greentreerainfire@kbin.social 30 points 6 months ago

You collected 36 pieces of candy.
Coincidentally due to forces beyond my control your rent this month is 35 pieces of candy. You understand I’ve got bills to pay too, right?

[-] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 6 months ago

of course. They will recieve 30% of the candy the collect as payment

[-] luciferofastora@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 months ago

What a generous rate! And a great way to ease them into the shock that the real rate is much, much worse

[-] Signtist@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago

Well, lets see, I make my company about 3 orders of magnitude more money than they pay me every year, so I suppose if my kids gather 1000 pieces of candy, I'll give one back to them as payment.

[-] Smorty 5 points 6 months ago

That'll be 50 snickers bars please

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

And in a communist society, the candy belongs to everyone in the neighborhood, so they have to go around passing it out until it's equally distributed...

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 15 points 6 months ago

Communism isn't about equal distribution. Communism is about addressing everyone's needs from everyone's collective abilities.

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

And who gets to decide that?

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 19 points 6 months ago

The collective. Democratic processes and councils.

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Lol so people who you elected, just like the system we have now.

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago

Not at all, Capitalism would be abolished.

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

So you're back to a committee telling people what they need to do and how much they get, just without the freedom to change jobs...got it.

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago

Where did I say you couldn't change jobs or decide what to do?

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

You're committee did, or if they didn't then they're just gov bosses over everyone since they dictate what people are worth. So you're back at capitalism...just with a voted in committee telling people their worth, or we're talking about a committee that dictates what people are going to do. Which is it?

[-] Cowbee@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago

You don't seem to understand basic concepts of democracy, Capitalism, or Socialism.

Workers democratically deciding policy and electing leaders is fundamentally different from Capitalism, where they have no say over production, nor what they are worth.

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[-] nautilus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 months ago

ah yes, the classic room temperature IQ dunk

[-] SupraMario@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Yes because your comment has totally provided a ton of rebuttal.

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[-] ares35@kbin.social 7 points 6 months ago

mom always got her 'cut'....

as payment for driving us across town to the 'good' neighborhoods.

[-] JCreazy@midwest.social 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Kids will start using their pillow case

[-] snooggums@midwest.social 19 points 6 months ago
[-] Snapz@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Child: "But daddy, this pillowcase smells like chemicals and has holes in it?"

Dad: "Halloween is cancelled, you're a freedom hating lib-cuck that hates freedom."

[-] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

If they learn anything, it's to shove some rocks in the pillow case and beat their dad with it until they get to keep all the candy they collect.

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this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
894 points (100.0% liked)

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