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[-] 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 83 points 4 months ago

I'd pick wolf. They generally leave you alone and don't want anything to do with you. I don't know shit about gorillas

[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 43 points 4 months ago

Gorillas will tear off your face and testicles AFAIK. Just imagine the depraved shit a human would do to you assuming they could get away with it without repercussion.

They wouldn't hesitate to fuck you up.

[-] BakerBagel@midwest.social 47 points 4 months ago

Gorillas are WAY more chill than chimpanzees. Just dint make eye contact and be respectful to the gorilla and it will leave you alone. They know that they are capable of fucking you up, and they know you know.

[-] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 4 months ago

Especially since it's a single wolf. I don't think I'd choose a pack over the others.

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[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 78 points 4 months ago

I choose the wolf. I already have 2 inside me, they'll just see me as another member of the pack.

[-] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 4 months ago

sounds kinda gay ngl

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[-] Allonzee@lemmy.world 55 points 4 months ago

Does this forest get smaller over the course of the night like a hunger games arena?

[-] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 26 points 4 months ago
[-] GluWu@lemm.ee 11 points 4 months ago

We should do the opposite of Noah's arc where we put 2 of every animal, including humans, in the Houston Astrodome and have them fight to the death until one emerges.

[-] FlihpFlorp@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

Do we all get prep time. And can animals who are capable of making them get tools, or do we have to make tools ourselves

[-] skeezix@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

He didnt say forest. He said Forrest, as in Gump. Maybe Forrest gets smaller as he gets old.

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[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 37 points 4 months ago

Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there's no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.

Which means they're either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.

[-] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim

[-] sparkle@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

for some reason i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas

it makes me wonder how aggressive early australopithecus was compared. apparently they did a lot of cannibalism so probably at least slightly more than non-australopithecus humans. they probably weren't even close to as aggressive as chimpanzees considering how significantly weaker they were though

[-] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

Wolves are also a lot more common, though.

[-] EdibleFriend@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Thanks Obama.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Or they happen in Africa so we don't usually hear about them.

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[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 35 points 4 months ago

Gorilla? I feel like being super submissive and not making eye contact would probably keep it from tearing off my arms to use as drumsticks? I'm not a gorilla expert though, so anyone who knows more can feel free to tell me. Although I guess with a wolf, you could just climb a tree and be ok, depending on how long you have to stay. Either, I guess. I'm pretty convinced that I'll die trying to pet a wild animal when the moron part of my brain tells me it's friend-shaped, anyway, so whatever.

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 22 points 4 months ago

I'm going Wolf personally. I might have a chance with a wolf, gorillas are stupid strong. No thanks.

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[-] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 4 months ago

A single wolf is just a big dog. A gorilla can pick you up and tear you in half.

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[-] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago

Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be "Lions" and "Tigers"

[-] Starkstruck@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 8 points 4 months ago

We tamed them once, we can do it again!

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[-] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

RIP Harambe. 😭

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 13 points 4 months ago

Wolf for sure, you can bribe a wolf a lot easier than a gorilla, you move in a way that gorilla doesn't like and you dead.

[-] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 months ago

A gorilla with a wolf tied to it's back, riding a bear.

[-] phorq@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 months ago

Isn't that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?

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[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

The other side of the bracket is all the cuddly ones.

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[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago
[-] TheWorstMailman@lemm.ee 15 points 4 months ago

HELL YEAH BRÖTHER! WOLVES WILL RESPECT YOUR PERSONAL SPACE AS LONG AS YOU RESPECT THEIRS! THEY COULD ALSO RAISE YOUR YOUNG 'UNS TO FORM ONE OF THE MOST HISTORICALLY AND CULTURALLY RELEVANT CITIES/EMPIRES IN HISTORY! AROOOOOOOOOOO(ME)

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[-] KuraiWolfGaming@pawb.social 10 points 4 months ago
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[-] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 10 points 4 months ago

Forrest like Gump or Forrest like Nathan Bedford?

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[-] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Definitely wolf. If I get trapped with a gorilla and some shots it to save me, humanity get will get so much negative karma on top of what we are still paying from 2016 and I won't be able to live with the guilt.

[-] Flughoernchen@feddit.de 8 points 4 months ago

The Tarzan kid part of me wants to say gorilla but the dog person in me would definitely choose the wolf. That's a tough one.

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 8 points 4 months ago

Wolf. Not only do I think my chances are better, I'd also feel less bad about trying to fuck up a wolf if I had to

[-] ItsMeSpez@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

Considering there's basically no chance of fucking up the gorilla, I don't think you'd have to worry about the ethics of the situation.

[-] Vespair@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago

I'll admit "trying" was doing a lot of heavy-lifting in that sentence ;)

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Run, Forrest, run!

[-] udon@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Trick question, Wolf is a male surname.

[-] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 4 months ago

wolf, considering they don't fucking exist anymore (in the US at least, also im sure they still do, just not in significant number)

Also i don't like gorillas, they can eat shit.

[-] daltotron@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

I thought they tried reintroducing wolves to yellowstone, no?

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Are we talking a sign language-using gorilla with a pet kitty or...?

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 months ago

A random one, so most likely not

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this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
588 points (100.0% liked)

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