I started HRT so pretty great 😅

I've been hella ill >.<; Didn't manage to accomplish much except digging around in discouragement and having one of my fun little freakout things where I just kinda panic or something for a sec. Cleared up my sinuses for a bit, at least 🤷

Found a really cool song, though! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9jXA-atvAM

Got knocked down by the shower again 😅 Was hoping to make a trip to pick up meds and food today, but now I'm not quite sure I can do that without being sick or something outside ( 🙀 ) somewhere <.< I need a replacement head, with better sinuses and brain and face and stuff. Oh, and hair. Need some decent hair 🤔

Oh, my prescriptions are moved up here now. CVS has been blowing up my phone bugging me to go get them, but ill v.v Also apparently there's no way to get the to stop deadnaming me (which is extra fun 'cause they text me so damn much). Doesn't seem to be any way to do that with Walgreens either... maybe there's some secret trans-friendly pharmacy hidden around here somewhere, somewhere capable of managing a whole two names per person 🙄 grumblefuss

What else? Idunno. Maybe I'll blab another wall of stuff later 😅

Bought the most amazing ingredients for burritos cuz my crush was coming over last week. But.. I just didn't feel it anymore 💔 and I broke it off with her. Now I'm eating burritos every day while crying 😭❤️‍🩹

My week was alright. Got my bass a couple of days ago (although I have to wait for the amp) and have been having fun with that. Been doing a lot of backbreaking manual labor for some extra cash, which isn't entirely pleasant but builds muscle and I get money. Got disoriented from the first half of the week being much busier than usual.

My partner and I adopted a cat!

I’ve been having a lot of dysohoria and my labs showed my hormones were critically low, so my doctor just bumped my HRT dose 10x. Turns out my first doc had me on way too low a dose! I was taking 1mg per week, now I’m taking 10mg lol. Should help with my energy levels and stuff going forward. Expecting to have mood swings and stuff this week as my dosage bumps up though!

Crazy. Been living where I am for almost 4 years and I've been told I may get deported because my current company made a mistake on my contract. I hate it here but it's better than where I'm from in many ways, and I was trying to get citizenship so I could move somewhere else. If they deport me I don't really know what I'm going to do or where my life will be headed.

My friends who play games with me were busy all weekend, so I spent the weekend alone feeling really isolated and sad. It's almost 6am and I haven't slept.

I go home for a month next week and the one reason I planned to go back this year fell through, I have no plans, my accommodation for the trip has been fucked up and now I have deportation looming over me. I would cancel the trip if not for the fact that it was €1000 for the ticket.

I'm so sick of the constant shit. I had surgery planned in Nov but I'll probably end up canceling it.

I a positive note, the recent depression treatment seems to have helped a bit.

It has been a week, I guess? It was 50 degrees and comfy out like, days ago, and now it's fuckin 85 and I'm sweaty and I hate it.

Micro center wasn't closed this weekend (why did a tech store need to close for a religious holiday???) So I have a microphone now to curse ears with my voice if Im not-anxious enough to actually plug the thing in.

Much procrastination has been accomplished. Got a pile of things in my fridge to cut up and either eat or vacuum seal before they go bad, a pile of dishes to wash, and a pile of crap I forgot to do at work last week due to anxiety and not asking questions about how to do my job 🤯

My wife and I just finished celebrating our 5 year anniversary. Each year we write letters to each other and plan to open them at every 5 year increments.

Getting to read the wedding night and 4 years worth of anniversary letters was reaffirming as hell. To hear that I was accepted when exploring and the confidence she saw me building brought me to tears.

I'm sick as a dog and my back is sore from the bed at the inn we stayed in, but I am the happiest I've felt in years.