I'm gay and been to counseling. The big one I can think of is just reassuring clients that you're an ally. That may depend where you practice, but it really matters in conservative areas like mine where that can't just be assumed.

And I've also had a couple counselors who seemed really fixated on heteronormative/cisnormative gender roles, so probably avoid that (although the fact that you made this post leads me to believe you already know this)

I maybe got a little carried away in this comment.

What really pissed you off in a therapy session?

TL,DR: lack of privacy, security, communication, and respect

I'm not going to discuss the conservative "therapist" I had. I did eventually get an LGBTQ-friendly therapist.

I discovered that my therapist was typing up her notes on a Windows computer with a keylogger enabled by default, sending the data to Microsoft. The notes were also stored unencrypted on a server accessible by the entire IT department of the clinic.

She didn't understand the issue. This clearly voids patient-doctor confidentiality, and it destroyed my trust in the clinic.

I've experienced another issue while searching for a new therapist.

I found a therapist on the psychology today site that listed a full address. I showed up to make an appointment for a first session just to learn that she doesn't accept new clients without a phone call or email.

The only reason I had considered her was that she listed a full address, implying that phone and email weren't needed.

So I would recommend clearly communicating things like this, be privacy-conscious, and respect patient-doctor confidentiality. Without these fundamentals, there is no foundation of trust and respect.

What is the most important thing for me to try to understand?

I think the most important thing to understand for trans patients is that everyone's transition is unique, including the personal story.

So for instance, some trans girls/women say they were always a girl/woman, while others say they became a girl/woman.

It's important to listen and understand the individual and not get ahead of yourself.

I hope this is helpful, or at least interesting.

The best counseling I got was from a hospital therapist when I was just coming out. Or coming to terms with it. He was straight, religious, mid-60s, married. He helped me realize that society really wouldn't see me differently and that my life and dreams weren't going to be different just because I was also falling in love with men. But he still offered me the choice or going back if that was what I was most comfortable with.

In the end, I think I had already made my mind up before that counselor even saw me. But him being a reassuring presence in a very vulnerable and stressful moment meant a lot to me. His help made me advise other friends and family going through similar struggles to get counseling, and it's totally changed their lives for the better, too. Having outside help, free from the potential conflicts of interest with getting similar help from friends and family, is really nice.

If you want to become a better resource, I'd start by making more LGBT+ friends. It will give you better insight into people's lives and struggles. But it's also just healthy to have a diverse mix of friends. Broadens your horizons. :)

Honestly just the fact that you're asking and are showing the self awareness is pretty great.

I haven't been brave enough to actually seek therapy past a few very generic counselling sessions in university, but I think the most important thing to me would just be someone who doesn't invalidate my existence. I identify as asexual and one of my biggest fears in going to therapy is for my sexual identity to be medicalized and dismissed, as I've heard many others like me have experienced.

I'm gay, but I don't really have much of an input in this. I've only had one therapist n she's been amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for being such a cool person. I so so wish the world had more people like you. I'm sure you'll be a great therapist/councillor!!!

I had many therapists when I was younger. Only one of them understood what being in poverty was like. I was being treated for social anxiety and one of my treatments was to get out of my comfort zone and go out, then journal about it after and go over the journal at the next session. That's all fine and a great idea, but I literally couldn't afford to go out and do stuff. My treatment went terribly until I got a therapist that found ways for me to challenge my fears without dropping any extra money.

Hey, I'm a queer counsellor, and I run training seminars on gender and sexual diversity.

Nothing you can't learn online, I'd be happy to share the resources I use on those days anyway. PM your email if you want.