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Your apology is an insult
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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2023
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egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics
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!egg_irl
!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.
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[CW: Assumes Viewer is Transmasc][CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem][CW: Assumes Viewer is Nonbinary][CW: Transphobia][CW: Violence][CW: Weapons/Firearms][CW: Disturbing Imagery]
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You must follow the Egg Prime Directive. You may not push or coerce people into identifying or not identifying a certain way. You must respect them as the gender they claim to identify as. In addition it is extremely in poor taste to make assumptions about other people's identities based on external factors, we understand it cannot be helped but it is best not to as it can affect the way you treat others in noticeable ways.
Recommendations:
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Sibling Meme Communities
- !traa (or search for https://lemmy.ca/c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns in your instance if the link doesn't work)
Sibling Non-Meme Communities
- !transgender (or search for https://lemmy.ml/c/transgender in your instance if the link doesn't work)
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Community Resources:
- The Trevor Project / 1-866-488-7386 — A US-based crisis prevention and intervention hotline and community
- TransLifeLine / 1-877-565-8860 — A US-based trans peer support hotline
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible — An in-depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria
- Trans Resources — A directory of resources for trans, non-binary, and gender-non-conforming people
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory — A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers
- Trans Resistance Network — A US-based mutual-aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project — Advice about insurance claims for trans healthcare procedures
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library — A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document
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"It's not acceptable to apologize for mis gendering someone"
Fuckin wat
It’s not that, it is when someone (correctively misgenders) as in they got the right gender and then when they catch a hint you might be trans or see something that points to your AGAB they switch it up and miss gender you. That is what the OP is about and I think this is what the comment was also referring to aswell.
The OP is based on the common occurrence of this for MTF individuals, especially those that have grown out our hair… while someone may gender us correctly from behind, they sometimes (correctively misgender) when you turn around. This can be done with the best intentions in mind, like they thought they misgendered a guy as a girl, so they apologize despite the fact that the apology is in fact an insult at that point.
I remember the first time someone called me miss in public I felt amazing, the second time it happened it crashed when they apologized and said sir. Instead of getting off work that day giddy because I was called miss, I spent the rest of the night disgusted trying to deduce what features made them question their first thought.
They didn't do that though, they correctly gendered the person then misgendered them AKA corrective misgendering, it's a transphobic tactic to make it seem like you're trying to be nice but you're actually being hurtful and invalidating.