I'm a middle-aged, straight cis man and always believed that, but as I've aged I've also found out that a lot more women were attracted to me than I ever knew.

That old bit of clichéd advice is true:

Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.

Play up your good sides. Don't emphasize the ugly sides.

Sometimes you have to let it go, accept yourself, and find out who your people are.

All that said I'm tall and strong. I don't deny either white nor male privilege. I don't think of myself as handsome but others thankfully disagree. And I'm very fat, not at all athletic. I'm not the easy ideal at all. But I'm not the antithesis of it either.

I've also known some truly hideous men who were able to consistently get sexual attention when they wanted it.