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Parenting a Neurodivergent child
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this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Neurodivergence
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All things neurodivergent and relating to the broader neurodivergent community (and communities).
See also this community's sister subs Feminism, LGBTQ+, Disability, and POC
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@TechyDad
It's profound, realising that you're autistic .
I wonder why some of us find it so traumatic, and others so liberating?
Maybe it's to do with how it happens. For me, I came to this self discovery after struggling with severe mental health problems that didn't seem to have any explanation.
Realising I'm autistic was an incredible release from self blame.
I think there's a unique journey for parents of autistic children, though. And not an easy one.
Be kind and patient with yourself.
@neamhsplach
@Zumbador I find the realization of my #neurodivergence liberating in the it lifts the veil of mystery around my challenges. But there are still challenges. Now at least I might try improving that state. @TechyDad @neamhsplach @neurodivergence
@Zumbador @TechyDad @neamhsplach A lot of it may boil down to this:
Was #ActuallyAutistic a label chosen *by* you, as a result of accurate and compassionately-communicated information?
Or was it chosen *for* you, by people who were more interested in trying to “solve the problem” that is you, and are ultimately not motivated by acting for your own well-being?
(I spent most of my life in the second camp, and even on the best days, the term “autistic” is emotionally fraught for me.)
@dpnash
Very true. And definitely something late realised autistic people are often not aware of.
But I meant to ask a different question, which is why people in the first group (realising they're autistic vs having been diagnosed by someone else ) sometimes have such different experiences.
@TechyDad @neamhsplach
In my case, my short term trauma was because my sense of self was shattered. I had explanations for why I did a lot of things and suddenly those explanations were replaced by other explanations. My entire view of who I was was thrown into question.
This might not be that traumatic when you're a child - you're still discovering who you are then. However, when you're in your 30's, your sense of who you are is usually set. To have that demolished was hard to deal with, even if it was beneficial in the long term.