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submitted 8 months ago by onevia to c/trans
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[-] onevia 28 points 8 months ago

It was just after 1am on a warm summer morning. My wife was told after 25 hours of labor she was going to need an emergency C-section. We were terrified as baby's heart rate kept dropping in and out of normal range all labor and he was struggling to move down the canal.

Nurse: Dad, this is the time to get your phone out and take babies first photo!

Me: She's not talking to me. I'm not a father. I'm not even sure what I am...

Nurse: This is it! Time to see if it's a boy or girl!

Me: Oh it's a boy we found out with the ultrasounds

Nurse: Are you sure? Those aren't always accurate. You never know! Nope, definitely a boy...

My son was born and I spent the first hour of his life alone as my wife had complications after the c section. We did skin to skin, him on my chest... Cue identity crisis.

Months of not grasping the concept of how I could be a father. Why did I feel more connected to the idea of being a mother. I googled "how to know I'm trans" and came across the Gender Dysphoria Bible that smashed my egg wide open at the tender age of 29

[-] Caitlyynn 9 points 8 months ago

Woah, thats... Thats quite the story! I hope you and your wife are doing alright!

[-] onevia 10 points 8 months ago

We are actually! Thank you. Our marriage is stronger than ever :) years of lying to myself meant lying to my wife which put a real strain on our relationship. We both didn't think I was going to live for more than a few years with how bad my mental health got.

Now we are strong, connected and determined to keep moving forward. ❤️

[-] Caitlyynn 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Aww, that nice to hear! I had to break it off with my partner because of me coming out, we just weren't in a place for that. It's really nice to know that this doesn't have to be, I wish you all the best going forward <3

[-] onevia 4 points 8 months ago

I hate to hear that but hope you two have found a way to stay in touch afterwards. I was terrified of coming out to my wife, but knew that my chances of saving my marriage, family and life were a hell of a lot better as a woman than they were as a man.

Luckily my wife agrees ❤️

this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2024
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General trans community.

Rules:

  1. Follow all blahaj.zone rules

  2. All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.

  3. Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.

Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on

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