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Vivek Ramaswamy suspends presidential campaign
(www.cnn.com)
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this post was submitted on 16 Jan 2024
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politics
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This is the best parody I could come up with:
Vivek Ramaswamy is suspending his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination and has informed his team to go fuck themselves because he got his, an official tells CNN. In the early hours of Tuesday morning, the former candidate was spotted in the parking lot of the News Corp. Building offering free handies for any executive who would give him an interview for a cushy political consulting gig.
This story is breaking, but who really gives a shit if it's updated? Ramaswamy was an also-ran when he started, and now he's a has-been. Other possible hyphenated verb compounds include Trump-slurper and woman-hater.
The original article contains 28 words, this summary contains more (and is entirely useless). Saved an arbitrarily large negative percent. I’m not a bot and I’m not open source! I'm just an asshole who hates what these Republican pricks are doing to democracy, and this comment is a parody. Salt grains advised.
Good human.
Lmaooo please find a way to make this a bot
I have a new insult for GOP now. thank you for that.
This made my morning.