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this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2026
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Dating as a guy in your early 20s is a fucking minefield. Now that I'm 30 it's better because nobody lies about being in their upper 20s or 30s, anyone who would be illegal is easy to spot because people under about 22 look like actual children to me now, and if absolutely needed it's easy enough to just take any new dating prospect to a bar and let the bartender card them.
But back in my early 20s none of that was true. Half the women on dating apps were lying about their age. Judging age visually between about 16 and 20 can get really fuzzy. Also people who were 20 were still in my age range so taking them to a bar to get carded doesn't work. Completely turned me off dating for a while.
FYI this is not allowed to be used as a defense in court in some states (e.g. mine). If you card them and they have a fake ID, you're still criminally culpable for anything untoward.
They break the law, they lie, and you get in trouble still?
Punishing people for sex that their imaginary friend wouldn't approve of is far more important than justice or fairness to most people.
It's not that blatant:
F.S.S. 794.021:
Best thing, though unfortunately not quite possible, would be to check each other's ID.
But that conversation wouldn't work.
...unless they have a fake ID. Which in turn is not in any way a defense should you perform certain acts with them that are illegal due to age. You're just supposed to be able to sense the difference between someone slightly above and slightly below the line in your jurisdiction.
Wait, regular young people didn't used to ask for ID on dates? I guess I was just paranoid.
The problem with this strategy is you can still be prosecuted for statutory rape even if you relied on a fake ID.
I can confirm this is the case in my state.
FYI this is not allowed to be used as a defense in court in some states (e.g. mine). If you card them and they have a fake ID, you're still criminally culpable for anything untoward.
Unforch, knowing someone's government name is disappointingly ineffective at preventing or remediating harm, in my experience.