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this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2026
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I'll never understand a man's reasoning for doing that. How can one be an arbiter over the lives of your partner and kids...
While Lemmy loves their memes and jokes about the government and the economy, this is what real world stress results in. I'm sure they will find a rich online life for this guy and recent financial trouble.
For every 1% increase in unemployment, 40,000 people die in a country with no social net. That's what a shit hole is.
In many if not most cases of family annihilation, it's a loss or perceived loss of social or financial status. Dad or Mom or whoever can't stand the idea of their kids growing up poor (or even just slightly less rich) and decide to not only take themselves, but everyone with them "to spare them the pain".
Ironically I just went through a deep dive about this guy reading multiple news sources and they all say he recently lost his job as a vp for the sales department of the American heart association.
So yeah. Dude was stressing and I get it but, fuck. So much unnecessary death just because people willingly vote against their own self interests.
He lost his job, his family lost their healthcare, his kids lost their ability to attend college, at his age, he was on track to a minimum wage job.
i love the big short too but i’m not sure that number is accurate https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/39267/do-40-000-people-die-in-the-united-states-for-every-1-increase-in-unemployment
People who live in shitholes love to deny they live in a shithole. Bump in suicide rates after 2008...and climbing. Males and females. But that's just suicide.
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db464.htm
In shitholes, when you lose your job, you lose your healthcare, so more people die because they can't afford treatment or diagnosis. Then of course, in shitholes, the solution is typically opioids until they are dead.
So people can be pedantic but do all the math and 40,000 for 1% is conservative.
did you just call me american??
Ur moms american
Yup.
If things keep going the way they are we're going to start seeing a lot more desperate people losing their shit in this country and a lot more headlines like this.
✨**patriarchy**✨
"reasoning" is not going to be the right word for whatever was going on in this guy's head.
That seems like a dangerous way of thinking. You can't ever hope to stop something if you refuse to understand it.
Eh, you can still analyse it, but it's the kind of analysis a clinical psychologist might do.
And I'll never understand a grandmother's reason for doing this
90% of family annihilators are male.
Can't we just agree that all family annihilation is bad?
I'm not trying to derail the conversation. My initial post was directly relevant to the post it responded to, which was also building out from the original topic. That's how conversations work.
You may not like where all conversations go, but you really must stop trying to be internet-policeman when other people are talking.
That's not at all what I said, or implied. You seem quick to jump to that conclusion, but no. (I'm wondering how you even think that that reading makes sense in context)
It would be great if you'd respond to what people actually say.
You're not going to win with her. She's always all over posts with her "men bad" mentality. I thought I'd blocked her because I was sick of her whining and hate, but nope. I will be in a few moments, though!
We're literally on a post about a man killing his entire family.
Not only that, but nobody ever "asked why men do this" either like they're claiming. This person is clearly trying to push the conversation into something else entirely
Why did you respond this way? I'm sincerely asking for the record.
For the record? Anyway...
Firstly, I saw several pieces of news coverage on the grandmother case before all of the details came out, and in the end the story was more grim than I had anticipated. Early in the coverage, I had assumed that one of the two parents of the children was responsible. Soon, it became clear that the father was not involved, which left only the mother, grandmother, or possibly one of the children. I admit that I did not want to consider it possible that it would be the grandmother, and was horrified to find out that it was. I could not, and cannot, conceive of anyone killing her child and the children of her child. I do not know what circumstances drove her to do this, but my thoughts of course went to mental illness, dementia, substance abuse etc.
Then, today I see the post you've quoted above and the first sentence - what a weird way of phrasing this. I mean, wouldn't you have a hard time understanding anyone's reasoning? The sentence seemed so "needlessly gendered". Unless the poster finds such murders committed by women reasonable, or thinks that women don't commit such murders, or finds the motives of men especially baffling, then what is the point of phrasing it in this way?
I'd hoped that my post would nudge the original poster into explaining, but "somehow" that conversation was derailed and I haven't gotten a reply.
All of these cases are sad, and I saw no discussion at all on the grandmother case. From your comments, you seem to prefer to look at tragedies like these through a gender lens. I just don't.
Ok, is there a point you’re making aside from “men are bad”
Was there a point toast was making beside whataboutism?
This case is a man killing his family and himself. Most family annihilators are male. That's facts.
Wow, neat fact.
Yeah, it is. We need to be able to be honest about these kinds of stats in order to reduce them.
Ok—men are bad! Now what?
There’s some good conversation about motives and such elsewhere in this very thread. You might learn something :)
There really isn’t much to learn from misandry
Is it misandrist to correctly point out statistics about family annihilators?
Can you provide sources that prove its a crime committed by a larger group than men?
I did read them, and there’s just a lot of you echoing men are bad.
Look deeper than gender finger pointing at what conditions of our society led to this outcome. Why do we live such isolated lives from our communities that allow these situation to occur?
No, I'm echoing that family annihilators are overwhelmingly male.
I'm very open to talking about WHY men are the ones to commit family annihilations at much higher rates than anyone else. And there's some good convo happening about that in this very thread as well.
Men of Lemmy don't want to hear they continue the patriarchy and scream at women about "not all men"
Is it being "honest about these kinds of stats" when you very specifically attack someone mentioning a part of these stats? You call it "whataboutism" and claim they're "derailing the conversation" all while you completely derail the discussion with your own whataboutism and act like some innocent victim. It's incredibly toxic.
It's a disturbingly prevalent mindset really. The idea that the patriarch, the pater familias, literally owns the family. That his wife and children are possessions to do with as he pleases. In ancient Rome it was litteral. He could kill them if he wished. Not even unique to Rome. Its still around today. A sick aspect of conservative ideology that persists and infects society the world over.
Its the sickening undercurrent to conservative "parents rights" arguments.
Is it that, or is it that he's the sole earner and losing his job means hardships for them he wants to spare them from?
Not saying it's not a fucked up thing to do, but maybe, just maybe, we need better support for mens mental health instead of assuming it's because their evil.
I'm not entirely sure you meant to respond to me since none of your comment really seems to match up with mine. Particularly that second half.
However if you did mean to respond to me, I find your first sentence incredibly telling. Look how you worded that. He wants to spare them. He wants. You've betrayed the exact mindset I'm talking about. The idea that he owns them. That he gets to take make decisions on behalf of them because he owns them. That's exactly what I'm talking about. A pervasive mindset that family is property to the father. That children are property of their parents in general.
Exactly, he may want to spare them that pain, but he obviously didn't talk it over with them to figure out what they'd prefer. He's decided they're all dying no matter what they want.
I remembering seeing something similar happen in my state, father had lost their job and murdered their whole immediate family to prevent them from becoming homeless.
Nuts, but there are a lot of homeless around here and it does not get easy to pull yourself or your family out of that.
These people see family as property, not individuals with their own agency.