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have you ever experienced second hand gender dysphoria looking at a man? (self.mtf)
submitted 2 weeks ago by applebusch to c/mtf
14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

i realize this might be a controversial question. i just had this experience a few weeks ago watching a random youtube video and it keeps popping into my head. im not going to link it or even describe the content because i really dont want to be perceived as even tangentially shaming anyone. i was watching this video and at a certain point i just couldn't continue watching because a man in the video was giving me serious gender dysphoria.

its hard to tell what exactly was even making me feel that way. i think it was maybe the clothes he was wearing and just his overall presentation reminded me of when i was an egg doing my best impersonation of a man but feeling so incredibly horrible the whole time. ive never really felt that way about someone before but it kinda makes sense as like the opposite of gender envy maybe?

idk maybe this wont make sense to anyone. curious about peoples thoughts.

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[-] applebusch 5 points 2 weeks ago

theres some mildly offensive assumptions baked into your comment. for one we just are women, full stop, no matter how much we transition or not.

seeing a man in the mirror is painful. being treated like a man is painful. testosterone makes me feel wrong in a sort of undefinable way. transition is about alleviating that pain partly.

seeing a woman in the mirror is euphoric. being treated as a woman is euphoric. estrogen makes me feel more like me than ive ever felt before. transition is also about claiming that euphoria.

simply dressing feminine doesnt give you all of that. for some of us it would be worse than doing nothing. like yes it sucks and its hard and if it was really a choice none of us would choose it. for a lot of us, eventually, its transition or die. if what you suggested was possible we would all be femboys and move on with our lives and trans fems wouldnt be a thing.

just saying, maybe your comment isnt the best thing to post in a community of trans fem people.

this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2026
42 points (100.0% liked)

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