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How to handle people using they/them instead of gendered pronouns?
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this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2026
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Why?
For one, that's a hell of a responsibility to give others, even well meaning others. I wouldn't want my friends to feel they had to speak on my behalf, nor would I do so on theirs. I'd say that's a healthy level of respect to have in a friendship.
But to a larger point: Why are you so concerned about conversations others may or may not be having about you?
Just to rephrase the point you just made: You're so worried that people who don't know you well enough to be sure of your preferred pronouns may be misgendering you with non-gendered pronouns, that you hope others will correct them on your behalf.
This is, at minimum, overthinking, and at worst a deeply unhealthy mindset to have.
The kindest thing I can say is that whether or not you consider this a problem, it's at least a rare one; nobody talks about you as much as you think. People's favourite topics of discussion are themselves, and the odds are this doesn't happen even a fraction as much as you think.
Are you trans?
Effin right? I feel like a large percentage of trans people deal with this exact problem. The fear of what others will think and say about you keeps many of us in the closet