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Butch transfemmes: how is your butchness similar and different to that of our non-transfemme butch siblings? (quokk.au)
submitted 1 day ago by PurpleFanatic@quokk.au to c/mtf
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I'm a butch transbian. I've been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:

  • We've likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
  • Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn't get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
  • Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
  • Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I'm dressing like a "man", despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
  • Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
  • The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
  • How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
  • How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
  • Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to "escape" the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.

I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you've got.

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[-] ada@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 day ago

I don't know whether I'm butch or not, because I don't really try for a butch look. What I do know is that I don't really "get" femininity and masculinity. I can perform either or both, but they both feel like I'm acting, rather than expressing something from within myself.

I don't have pierced ears, I don't wear makeup, I don't do my nails, I don't do skin care etc, and I'm just as likely to be found in jeans and a tshirt as I am in a dress. With clothes, my goals are as few layers as I can get away with, and as easy and comfortable as possible.

I know I've sometimes felt like the odd one out, because I don't really connect with femininity, but on the other hand, I've been in the community long enough to realise that every one of us has an something that doesn't fit the narrative, and we nearly all struggled with feel disconnected because of it. These days, I still scratch my head and wonder what I'm missing, but I don't feel disconnected or othered because of it. I've been in the community long enough to know that it's my community, and to feel it in my bones.

this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2026
24 points (100.0% liked)

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