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submitted 1 week ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/mtf

As another trans woman it has been so hard for me to connect with other trans women because of this.

I'm very critical of men and the way they behave in our society, and my cis girl friends and gay male friends almost always agree.

Now every time I bring this up to trans friends they jump to defend men, girl why are you defending men when they're literally the ones killing trans women and cis women at exponential rates and you're telling me that men don't have a problem??

I genuinely don't understand that need they have to defend men...

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[-] LadyAutumn 13 points 1 week ago

Tbh I'm not a fan of how youve chosen to word this. It comes across as weirdly antagonistic towards other folks here.

I also think that language is important and what's being left out here is the context behind why other people are shutting you down. Patriarchy fucks with all our lives and the oppression of women as an assigned class to the advantage of men as an assigned class is real and worth discussing. But I think that how we talk about that does matter. And I can see how language could quickly devolve this subject away from the central point of class solidarity and liberation.

Trans women have as varied opinions as any class of people. Studies consistently show that trans people as a whole are strongly left leaning and pro minority rights. Not to say that misogyny doesnt exist in trans communities but it is not uniquely common in trans communities.

[-] choihanna@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

How exactly is this antagonistic? I'm only asking because as trans women we suffer from men's toxic behaviors more than anyone but I still meet a significant amount of trans women who will try to deny that society makes men commit most of the terrible stuff happening in the world.

It does frustrate me, what can I say 🤷🏻‍♀️ men are literally taking everything away from us I don't think they need to be defended.

[-] GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

You might wanna lookup the Apex Fallacy, because you're spreading it all over, intentionally, or not.

[-] isleepinahammock 6 points 1 week ago

I assume you don't. But many of the people who say things like "all men are terrible" include trans women in their definition of "men." Also, trans people certainly understand getting scapegoated for your gender or apparent gender for reasons completely beyond your control.

I'm a trans woman. I identify as a woman. I've dealt with my share of terrible men. But for the first part of my life I wasn't out and I did present as male. And when people said, "all men or terrible," they didn't know what was in my heart. They could go only by my outward appearance. That "all men" included me. And until you came out, when a woman looked across a crowd and said, "all men or terrible," she included you as well.

this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
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