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submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by silence7@slrpnk.net to c/news@lemmy.world

I skipped the steps of the application process that would have clued the agency in on my lack of fitness for the position. I made no effort to hide my public loathing of the agency, what it stands for, and the administration that runs it. And they offered me the job anyway.

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[-] grue@lemmy.world 150 points 1 month ago

I made no effort to hide my public loathing of the agency, what it stands for, and the administration that runs it. And they offered me the job anyway.

That is far better than I expected, not worse. Hopefully there are enough of such folks that we can get some internal resistance going.

[-] BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world 59 points 1 month ago

Yup. If I get fired I'm definitely applying and they'll regret hiring me.

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 94 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Things ICE agents shouldn't do:

  • Download a virus on work computer
  • Accidentally drop cell keys into detainee areas
  • LSD in office coffee machine
  • Crash patrol vehicle into ocean
  • Arrest spouses of other ICE agents
  • Arrest all of Trump's wives
  • Racially profile Kash Patel
  • Irrigate ammo storage areas
  • Disco Elysium stuff
  • Break into empty buildings with absentee landowners and leave them open.
  • Fake your arrest numbers
  • Deport MAGA immigrants
[-] jayambi@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

asking for a friendv does the LSD in the coffee machine work? i mean doesn't it get burned or damaged?

[-] interrobang 35 points 1 month ago

Good question, I looked and it is unstable at higher temps!

Ketamine, however, is higher-temp stable ;)

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

Good point. Only put LSD in a cold pot. I thought ergot survived baking but maybe there's something that stabilizes LSD in that situation.

[-] jayambi@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

cold brew coffee anyone?

[-] Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

when you say you "looked" did you just ask AI? ;)

[-] interrobang 4 points 1 month ago

Wikipedia, she's my ride or die

[-] Scotty_Trees@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[-] 7101334@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Yes, it works, but also yes, high temps will destroy LSD. So if it was a brand-new-scalding-hot pot, it would probably degrade. Would you still feel it? Idk. If it's a lukewarm pot though, you'll probably trip just fine.

For informational purposes only, obviously.

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

Urine does not heat degrade. Just sayin.

[-] jaaake@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

This happened at my Junior High School the year after I had left, but it turns out it was iced tea, not hot tea: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1997-04-11-mn-47764-story.html

[-] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 15 points 1 month ago

I dunno about giving a bunch of unknowingly LSD who also happen to have access to guns and the ability to destroy lives. Seems like a bad idea.

Now laxaitives or sediatives, that's a different story. Cna't shoot innocent people if you're too busy shitting on the toilet or asleep at the wheel.

[-] assa123@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Sleeping at the wheel or speeding for a toilet still seems a bit dangerous for the average driver, but for them that sounds below their mark.

[-] fleem@piefed.zeromedia.vip 6 points 1 month ago

fuck yeah lsd and disco

[-] prole 5 points 1 month ago

LSD in office coffee machine

Not sure but the heat might destroy the compound

[-] Flatworm7591@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago

Now you're talking.

[-] blitzen@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Except the MAGA immigrant thing. Actually don’t do that. We shouldn’t be deporting anyone because of their politics.

[-] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Its what they want. Sometimes you're the guy wishing at the monkey paw, sometimes you're the monkey paw.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

actually, i'm thinking maybe joining ice could get me the drugs i need to live easier. also i could deport people to i don't know honolulu

[-] prole 3 points 1 month ago

Low level ICE grunts have zero say in where people get sent

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Hey not now I just got to the part of the fantasy where my pony got a medal

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago

The point was that they clearly aren't checking up on anyone they hire. Meaning literal nazis can easily get in without anyone noticing or caring.

[-] 7101334@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

...I mean that implies they wouldn't hire Nazis if they were screening.

America inspired the Nazis. This is nothing new. Our country is founded on genocide and built by slavery. The only reason decorum has been maintained as long as it has is because the propaganda/distraction machine worked so well until they broke it on Israel and forgetting to give people enough money to eat.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Not really, it implies they have plausible deniability because they can just pretend a "mistake" like that is a one off, if discovered. "Oh whoopsy, one slipped through!"

[-] 7101334@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

The LA Sherriff's Department was revealed to have gangs in their ranks which would go out and party and get commemorative gang tattoos after they killed their first person.

Basically nothing happened as a result.

You drastically overestimate the extent to which there is oversight or accountability for any so-called 'law enforcement' in this country.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

You're making a huge mistake if you think I believe that would ever care from a morality standpoint. What I am saying is that they would prefer to appear to be checking and also not have records indicating they would hire known racists/criminals. My theory seems to line up with the author of this article's experience.

[-] 7101334@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Again, they got gang tattoos. They're not worried about hiding anything or keeping up appearances. They have guns and the government on their side. They are the dogs of the ruling class. Most of us don't even have guns... yet.

Not to even get into the DHS Twitter posting "14 words" tweets and other barely-veiled white supremacist propaganda.

My theory seems to line up with the author of this article’s experience.

They hired her without even bothering to check that she's a massive ICE detractor, how does that support your position? It's a hiring process, a necessary part of getting boots on the ground, not a meaningful screening process and not really presented as one.

[-] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If I'm wrong and you're right then they literally would not have been requesting that paperwork at all. I'm not sure what this conversation is because we are on the same side and I haven't remotely said anything in defense of any kind of decency on the behalf of law enforcement. I was just pitching a reasonable theory as to why they'd request screening paperwork at all if it literally didn't matter and you'd get accepted anyhow.

[-] BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 month ago

My thinking as well...

this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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