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Reflecting on my transition hiatus (self.mtf)
submitted 4 weeks ago by possumparty to c/mtf
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An analogy: knowing that I'm transgender and unable to transition due to my career is like water dripping into a cup, there's a few drops in there already, enough to cover the bottom, enough to go "well, there's definitely something in there" but sometimes random waves of dysphoria come and drip more into the cup. The tap is usually dripping, sometimes it doesn't drio, but usually it does. Eventually, that cup fills all the way up, and it starts overflowing, that's when it becomes too much to ignore, and it's sitting right there in front of you demanding you to do something. Sometimes you can dump some water out, sometimes you can nearly empty the cup, but there's always some drops left in it.

I think I need to get back in touch with my doctors, but the US is a hostile place and I'm stuck in a progressive industry surrounded by right wing chuds. My company has a strong DEI policy, but it's still a tricky position to be in knowing that even in the early days I'll still have to change in a locker room with co-workers and breast growth/shaven legs are hard to hide. I'm considering just going with compression tanktop and a compression sports bra with cooling base layer pants in the summer. Idk, being a thirty year old technician on an offshore rig while dealing with all of this is intimidating.

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[-] possumparty 3 points 4 weeks ago

hey, thanks for taking the time to reply!

It's been about five years since I was last on estrogen and spiro. I can't necessarily recall a ton of mental health changes at that time due to being in a less than preferable living situation but I recall being really excited about having some breast growth and some lactation.

I didn't do a lot of social transitioning around that time either so can't really comment on how that would go for me. I know that the majority of my coworkers are transphobic and that they're not necessarily accepting.

Dysphoria really comes in waves, sometimes I don't think about it at all, and others it's on the very forefront of my mind. I'm looking into reaching back out to our DEI representative and asking for some advice within navigating this within my technician role, or possible new career avenues within the company as we're a global fortune 100.

HRT is definitely in the cards due to living in an informed consent state in a fairly progressive city, but it's still tricky trying to navigate living with everyone for weeks on end and not being able to do much about it. Even when I was on HRT I was still socializing as a man so that wasn't anything too crazy, but yeah, as I get older I start seeing more thicker body hair growth and I'm pretty unsatisfied with all that so I'd like to kinda nip that in the bud. I do IPL for hair removal and that works great but hormonal hair is a bastard to try to evict.

It's just y'know, again, living with the people and needing to use a locker room with them that makes it so intimidating. I don't want to cause damage to breast tissue with binders but I'm not sure how else to navigate that one comfortably when it's almost required to wear a short sleeve at certain points of the year. Same with being mostly hairless in the body department.

I don't think that HRT will be restricted in my state, but I also do a lot of international travel for my job and I have some concerns about ports of entry being a gender non conforming person when it comes to ICE harassment and foreign countries border controls. I'll figure something out. Every time I walk by a store and see a cute outfit I'm just internally dying a little bit..

this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2025
47 points (100.0% liked)

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