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submitted 2 days ago by tgirlschierke to c/onehundredninetysix

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[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago

I didn't find proper social groups for me until I was like 30. It's very difficult for me to socialize and it's something I've had to put a lot of active work into. Not everyone finds what they're looking for out of college, a lot of people don't know what they're even looking for until later. It can be lonely sometimes but like most things it is a skill you can improve on.

Until recently I was living in a city so depending where you live ymmv on this advice: For me I found my groups by going to lots of events. Even if I didn't think I would like them. Regularly checking for cheap local concerts, meetups I'd hear about, if I saw any posters I'd take a picture and put it in my calendar. I'd say 80% of the time I learned I didn't actually like the thing but it would get me talking to people. From there I could ask about similar events and if one of them sounded closer to what I wanted I'd go to that.

You really have to put yourself out there and be ready to walk up to people and just start talking (but also be ready to exit the conversation if it isn't going well). It's awkward and nerve wracking but you'll slowly either get better or find those rare gems that love it when some rando shows up and can't stop sweating while talking about Morrowind or whatever. If you're like me it can help to bring a prop sometimes. I solve Rubik's cubes. So if I'm not feeling like I can approach anyone I can sit near people and just solve that for a while and someone will get curious sooner or later and ask me about it which opens a conversation.

[-] malware@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

Thanks for this advice, it made it easier to understand what I can do ❤️🌹

this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2025

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