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Grindrule
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this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2025
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As others have said, no. Seek some therapy or something. Get out of your own head that you somehow are incapable of finding someone you'd actually be attracted to.
It's a bit of a reversal, but my brother in law knew he was gay at least by the time he hit college. With how he was raised, he believed it was a sin and he tried to have relationships with women. He even got married to one. I can't really explain well except to say that he really did try to love her. He troed hard enough for them to even adopt a daughter.
But it just wasn't there. His wife even tried to allow him to see men on the side, but he couldn't live that way. Keeping this core part of himself as an "off to the side" thing. He couldn't pretend to be something he wasn't. It was killing him from the inside out.
They divorced. He and her stayed friends, raised a good daughter. She found a guy that is actually into her, is nice, and they all get along.
My brother in law hasn't found a husband, but he has had numerous long term relationships with other men that didn't work out for one reason or another. And by not denying who he is, by not trying to be something he isn't, he is so much happier than he ever was when he was trying to be something he wasn't.
If you truly have some attraction to your friend, maybe give it a try. But from what you've posted here, this sounds definitively to be a cocktail of social isolation, desperation, and depression whispering lies into your ear. I get it. I've been there.
You have to learn to love yourself first.
Possibly also your friend being a creep. If they wouldn't be your friend if you told them in no uncertain terms that you weren't interested in them romantically and asked them to stop, they aren't a friend.
I'm trying to help myself with this, because several therapists I've tried were just social workers that didn't help much. Only good one I was recommended lives three cities away and costs an arm and a leg. But I keep slipping up constantly, as exercising and positive affirmations dont seem to work anymore, even running. It still feels good, but suicidal thoughts don't desappear anymore.
I'm just a bit attracted to him since he's kind to me and looks good, that's why I even thought of something like that. And no, he's not a creep I'm positive about that. I've rejected him once, and he is still my best friend and is kind to me all these years.
Also, thank you for your words. I appreciate it a lot
If you feel like you might be bi, there's nothing wrong with exploring that, but when you're feeling suicidal might not be the best time for either one of you.