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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2025
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One other side point that came to mind after the main post.
We're so conditioned to think realistic violence in games is fine, but realistic sex in games is "wrong" or "sad". But honestly, I realized I played through 3+ games without doing any violence* and had a blast, and that was actually really refreshing.
*^okay,^ ^no^ ^non-consensual^ ^violence.^ ^I^ ^may^ ^have^ ^slapped^ ^Lyssa's^ ^dick^ ^around,^ ^but^ ^she^ ^requested^ ^it.^
Not just in games. In all media. You bring to mind a great quote from George R. R. Martin.
I've always felt that puritanical stigmatization of sex and sexuality have really fucked us up psychologically as a species.
Puritanism comes down to “happiness is bad.“
Not just sex; dancing, music, poetry, novels, games, decorations. Anything which takes joy in life and expression is forbidden.
Suffering while alive is seen as the proper punishment for being born human - seeing people and nature as beautiful and divine is legitimately blasphemy to these people.
And gods forbid you enjoy suffering, that's right out
Axes entering skulls give pleasure to the psychopaths we let run our societies.
I remember a quote from a famous porn actor "nacho vidal".
"I'd rather have my kids playing with "fake plastic penises" around the house than playing with fake plastic firearms."
I'm not comfortable with the idea of kids playing with sexual toys. But it makes me feel something weird that I'm not more weirded out by kids playing to kill with fake guns.
I'm pretty sure a majority of people touched a real penis before touching a real gun.
well tbf one of the detailed sex scenes (in the book) is between a 30 yrs old khal drogo with a 13 year old daenerys targaryen, and it's being depicted as a good thing, he's the first guy that cares about her
japanese manga is a nice counter to this
the media targeted to older readers has many well done stories that contain realistic sexuality (good and bad)
and i’m not talking about the stupid shit like jacking it in the river gave me a half fish half man son
Leading up to the release of Cyberpunk 2077 there was a relatively innocent post about whether players would be able to romance anyone and sleep with them. The absolute mockery and scorn OP received was shameful. It really struck me because it was so clear how we've been conditioned to reject sexuality while at the same time being ultra-desensitized to violence.
What I do recall was one guy asking very specific questions about how much we would be able to customize genitals, and whether sex would be fully interactive with visuals of full penetration.
And while none of those things are wrong per se, the general vibe of asking about all of those things was very weird and pervy.
Unshackle your mind. Reject the puritanism bonk and embrace the horniness tentacles.
Hm maybe my memory of the post is fuzzy but that is more pervy than I recalled. Still gets to the larger point though about how we talk about violence in graphic detail with no self-consciousness but can't do the same for sexuality.
Showing examples of your point, even :)
And? What is the answer to these questions? Asking for a friend ...
I was pretty surprised that they did have genital customization in the game, no on the other two questions though.
And then you usually get "But the sex isn't realistic!!!"... yeah? Neither is the violence, unless you are frequently the Doomslayer or something?!
Like, how is that even an argument. How can violence in games be preferrable to sex?!
Part of the actual answer to that question is that, while violence is often loud and public (and sometimes government sanctioned on massive scales), sex is something that is usually done in private, intimate settings without observers.
It was wild being raised by my mother who didn't mind if I saw consensual sex, because I should eventually have sex, but restricted all violence because ideally I'll never see violence in person.
I have no idea how good this is a philosophy for raising children. Sample size is too small.
You know that even fantasy sex is a problem to the puritan mind, even mild representations of sex like activities becomes weird. Well in the Western society that is. I found out that some temples in India are finely decorated with more or less explicit scenes. In certain societies sex is seen as an engine. The issue with violence is that it isn't just highly but it's nearly a constant in our western society. Go back to the middle ages, how many people whacked each other in popular imagery. Even recently we have seen more violence than ever. Gore doesn't do much any longer for many adults, but it's supposed to elicit a strong evolutionary reflex of disgust and fear. I feel we've been overexposed to these things, but not others.
beating beats beating
Please note that this is mostly an American thing, in European TV and books we have naked people and (not too explicit detail in TV, books differ) sex.
Some of us are always wondering about this. Something 18+ might be sex or gore related.
Kinda funny to see it in Canada as well, especially when you throw Quebec culture into the mix (things seem a little more sex positive over there compared to other parts of the country, which is neat to think about sometimes).
Thanks, it's always nice to get more cultural info.