Yeah, I hear you - it's a struggle the left had had for a long time, to manage to communicate their ideas when there is so much nuance. Even framing problems as patriarchy or capitalism doesn't cover all the complex reality, and that can leave some people feeling confused or left out (like, if society is patriarchal, why are so many young men suffering and even disadvantaged?).

I don't have compelling answers, to be honest I think even the way we think about feminism and patriarchy have been manipulated, it's not surprising there is such a big gap now between cultural / popular conceptions of feminism and academic feminism.

Maybe having conversations like these with other male friends could help? Or reading bell hooks, I know she has books like Feminism is For Everyone and The Will to Change which address some of these confusions.

But even starting with reading a book escapes most people, we need a tiktok version of bell hooks, something that speaks in the current language of mass culture.